5 days!

My how the days have just flown by. I meant to update my "32 days" posting but never got around to it. Oh well the title is pretty much self explanatory. The whole planning process has been such an emotionally tumultuous roller coaster. I am so glad it will be over next week. My coworker jokes "what are you going to do with all your free time after the wedding is over?" Sleep! Study! Get my life back =P

I don't wish wedding planning on anyone! What an awful awful experience so far. Never want to relive it again. However, I do love talking wedding with other folks...just hate talking about my own. *shudder*

I'm pretty nervous/freaked out right now. Nervous that I'll be someone's "wife" in 5 short days. I know my relationship with my fiance will not change much and we are committed to growing old together but I'm still nervous. I will have to think twice about my spending and reevaluate big decisions because it's "we" everything now.

I hope my friends won't treat me differently. Sure i'll be married but i'll still be the same Terry. I hope they won't exclude me from girls night out or other outings.

As nervous as I am, as frustrating as this whole process has been, I'm excited to see it all come together the day of. In light of some recent events/issues (no i'm not pregnant), I've come to realize that after Saturday my life will not just be about me anymore. And that I will have my own family, a husband to take care of (and him to take care of me), to cherish, and to support. I realize now that he needs me as much as I need him and that he can't always be the strong one. Smetimes I will have to fill those shoes and be his shield, his confidant, his protector.

This Saturday, I will be zen.  Let it all go and let people direct me. I really do hope that it will be a fun and memorable day. No expectations though!