I am Ariane and I am from Germany. I just fell in love with this website and tought it might me helpful for me, organizing my thoughts and on the other hands some might be interested in how weddings work in other countries. Of course the main parts are all the same but there are some tradtiotions that might be new and some points "required" in the english-speaking world are unknown or uncommon here.
For quite some time I already collected pics of wedding-related things I like. Now I have a place to organize and upload them to have a better overview and make up my mind. There are so many different things I like and I can't decide which way to go. I hope to find some inspiration here, or if anybody has good advice, feel free.
I started saving photo's long before I became fully aware of PW Etiquette, so please let me know if any photo I use in a bio page or post is yours so that I can source them correctly.
Now that I am officially engaged and we set the date (May 18th, 2013) I totally dive into the planning process and get crazy :-)
Now that the date is getting closer I will put some things on "friends only". Just go ahead and send a request.
boy...we look so young
Frank and I (being 20 and 22 years) met for the first time at the university at an information meeeting for foreign internships during studies. He as a
listener, as he already was planning a longer stay abroad, and I as a speaker and, because I worked alongside my studies for that a student organization that
organizes placements abroad.
During the planning of his stay abroad, we had always seen us occasionally. Finally, at a preparation workshop, we had some time to get to know us better. We sat for hours on the swings at a nearby playground and talked all night about everything under the sun. However, we were aware that he was about to go on this long internship in India and therefore we both did not want to speak not about our feelings. At another meeting where we were looking for jobs abroad together, but then we kissed and we both immediately knew that this would probably not be easy, but we rather wanted to be together apart than not together at all. As early as 4 weeks after, he started the internship. We were in contact all the time and we knew the time had not changed our feelings. So I booked a flight at the end of the internship, traveled with him for one week and then we flew together backto Germany. It is now seven years ago and we have overcome a several long-distance months troughout this time. Finally, we live together, work in the same city and will be married soon.
our last vacation in Irland
the only wedding we have been together (his one and only, the next will be ours :-) )
I did not imagine how hard it would be to decide on a color theme. There are so many combinations that I like....I am just not sure. Plus I always think will it be hard to find all details in this theme, am I brave enough to do something different or do I want it rather classical.
My options right now are:
- off-white with gold and brown nuances
- lilac, purple, white (and maybe light green)
- off white, dark red, black
- white, green, pink (just found a flower bouquet with those) i never considered, because I am not the "pink type" but those colors go so naturally together and the decoration and such would be rather easy
Help my FI is no big help, because he leaves it totally up to be..."whatever makes you happy, makes me happy" great...so....
The more i look around the more ideas i have. How can help me...how did you decide?
I think I made up my mind and combine two ideas. The brown and gold is just to much for spring wedding I guess and I just have seen too many "red" weddings so far. I decided I will go with white, green and purple maybe with some rustic wooden elements. Probably that represents us the best and I am really happy with my decision. yeah!! I find it really hard to find "the one" purple. So I guess all shades of berries, plum etc. give a nice mix.
In Germany, favors are not very common but I love the idea to give them something to remember. However, I can't make up my mind WHAT.
I liked those "favor bags"
Yesterday I went to a party accessoire store and found this: one pack with 10 boxes cost 1,50 € (~2$) so I got 3 packs of tuxes and 3 packs with gowns. Because I think they look a little "plain" I also got these "pearl-stickers" they are semisphere (half-ball) One pack of stickers cost 1€ (~1,50$) and has 72 stickers in 3 sizes.
Although I am not exactly sure what the favours will be....I now how they will presented. I think some kind of candy (maybe personalised M&M) or almonds
Also also think about using these containers as name plates....we'll see
ok, forget about those containers. I came up with a completely different idea. In my family I am known for my luck in winning giveaways, taking part in product testings etc. And because of that I have quiet some goodies, which I dont exactly need. This includes high quality beauty and hair care, towels, books (cookbooks, novels), classware sets (e.g. set of whiskey or juice glasses) As a favor everyone will get a lottery ticket (no blanks) andwill be a winner. I will have one box for women and one for men and they totally can exchange their wins. But I tought it would be nice to combine the favors with something personal.
For now thats the plan
here i want to list some tradtions that might not be familiar to the most of you, but very common in Germany. Maybe some like it and want to incorporate it in their planning or could give hints how I can "accesorize" them.
- A unique German pre-wedding custom is the creation of a wedding newspaper by the friends and family of the bride and groom. This newspaper, or booklet, is filled with pictures, articles and stories of the engaged couple. The newspaper is either sold at the wedding reception, to assist with the expenses of the honeymoon or given for free. (I did that for my brother once and it is sooo much work, but totally worth it)
- Either right after the ceremony or before entering the reception location the happy couple is offered a slice of bread with some salt, sometimes accompanied by some water (as an omen for solidarity in good and bad times)
- Another tradition occurs right after the ceremony: There will be a log on a sawhorse and the couple has to cut the log in half! This is to symbolize the first tough tasks of their future they can accomplish together.
- As the guests leave they are given white ribbons to each driver of a car in the procession to tie to the radio antenna of the car. This procession then drives through the town honking their horns. Other drivers on the route honk their horns in return to wish the newlyweds good luck in their marriage.
- when you marry in a church a wedding candle is (I think) required. usually it has some wedding symbols, the wedding date and the names of the couple on it. It is lit during the ceremony and when you walk out one of the little ones in carrying it in front of the party. Later it can be put on the table of the couple and after the wedding it should be kept and lit on every anniversary. Here an example
...to be continued
I decided to give some information about German weddings in general, so that everyone knows what I am talking about later on. If you have some time go on and read it :-)
At first, in Germany we do not usually plan weddings so much in advance. I would guess it is because we often do not have so many "requirements" like there are in the US. The only reason to start early is to find the perfect spot. However, due to a long history we have a huge number of castle and other georgous places around.
About the main venues:
- stag/hens parties become more and more popular. mostly its about hanging out with same-sex friends or go out. often you have to wear stupid stuff and also often sell things (from sweets, to condoms or alcohol) to finance the night. So it is rather casual.
- then we traditionally do something that is called "Polterabend". Sometimes its translated with rehearsal dinner or wedding-eve party. For me, both do not fit the meaning. The literal translation would be "rumble night", why this is, you will read later on. It used to be the night before the wedding, but nowadays it can be weeks or a couple of days before it. It is a mostly casual party where you dont explicitly invite people, but everyone who knows about it can come, often it is more a party with friends that with the whole family bunch. Often it is at peoples houses, casual sport clubs with bbq and such. It is obligatory to bring chinaware with you an smash it at an especially prepared area or in front of the house. Thats were the name comes from. It can be pretty loud. (I have seen parties were people came with trucks, loaded with china, toilet bowl etc.) The idea behind it is: Break a thing, mend your luck and the rumbling is supposed to scare away negative spirits. Plus: The wedding couple learns to work to getting by cleaning up the mess.
This party has a long tradition and explains why stag/hen parties were not that common in earlier days. Furthermore, because many friends were already there...german weedings are usually not that big, concerning guest numbers. Most friends were already at the Polterabend.It is also possible to combine the polterabend with the "regular" party and people bring there (old) china then.
- the actual ceremony has to be at a civil registry office or someplace else but with a representative. However, most offices have special rooms or halls which look very nice, you can bring flowers, music,....or they offer rooms nearby where they hold wedding ceremonies. It is possible to be there just with the guy or with a large group of people. You can ask for a speech or a "short version".
- besides that many also long for a religious wedding. This is only possible with the "official version in advance" Only a curch wedding is not possible. As long asat least one of the happy couple pays church tax (yes, no separation between church and state) you can ask for wedding mass, as long as the priest is ok, with tha fact that only one is an "official member". You can then choose any priest and church (as long as it is the same congregation.
- right after the wedding (official of church) guest have a chance gratulate and perform certain tradtions. There are so many, that I will write an extra posting about thos (which I like and want to have) Than everyone goes to the party venue. Sometimes the happy couple takes a break here with the photographer to take official pictures. Then, the whole wedding party has coffee and cake together or starts wirth dinner...depending on the starting time. Then there is a party with all guests.
It is not common at all, that the couple leaves during the party for their honeymoon.
Some other things that are not common at all at German weddings:
- brides maids
- best man and maid of honor (there are "witnesses of marriage, who can be seen as equivalent)
-father daugther dance
- candle ceremony
- to be continued
I am not a really big fan of heavy, creamy cakes. So we are not sure what we want. However they loook so nice :-D THis is just amazing and could also be matching with a bouquet. Another option would be something fruity.
I love the rose-cake. However that would have to be adjusted to go with my color scheme...have to think about.
ANyone interested in dyi it: have a look at I am baker
Maybe also a combination of a fruitcake and a creamy top might work.
As almmost every other girl....I am addicted to shoes. So, of course I love to search for The ones.
Before I came to pw I was quite sure that I wanted a classical white shoe, which is closed in front. (because for some reason I don't like by big toe)
I also want them rather high...because my FI is a big guy and I dont want him to crouch down on the pics. These might give me the option to have a second pair for dancing :-) yeah
plus I might get a third pair for the official ceremony :-)
I found these
However, now I am pretty sure that I want colored shoes because it would be so much more me and a nice eye-catcher. So here are my new inspirations. I love the first one. However, it could be a little brighter.
found and ordered them. They are just too cool. I found them on ebay. They are never worn and have the perfect color satin-purple. They are pretty high but still feel great and comfortable. However, I broke my little rtoe on the right and so I can not really try them on.
In this right pic they look stained but thats just because of the reflection. I might add a brooch on top...but not sure about it.
wohoo, we booked the photographer. I knew I wanted him even before we got engaged and the booking was one of the first things we did. His pics are awesome, I comes from the town we will get married and the prices is comparably low.
If you want to have a look: http://www.delfzeh.de/fotogalerie (gallery if you click on the button in the left corner of the pics.)
selection of pics I would like to have (once again, please let me know if i did not give you credit, I am more than willing to do so)
I would love to have the first look..if possible with the back of the dress also in the pic
a classic the rings
this or that most probably option 1 (easier and more festive)
lose how you see both rings and it still looks natural somehow.sorry for the bad quality but I did not have this one digital and had to scan it.
a good friend of mine. for the casual party he had this hat, which shows much of his personality and I love the profile shot.
here again a couple-profile shot
I really really want to have a candy bar (well, I am just a sweet tooth) So, I already researched on candy that goes with our color scheme. That was harder than I thought it would be. This is what I came up with:
jelly apple loops (check) hard candy (couldnt find those)
sugar coated chocolate (check) little chocolates
pop-rocks-balls (apple)sugar-coated licorice (check, however, it tastes aweful)
again apple flavor, decided we dont need those.
well, we'll see what else to find.
Why is all green candy with apple flavor? please...
found something...gum balls with water melon flavor (they also look like water melon)
I finally got around of creating two versions of the save the date card. Here in germany it is not very common, but because we want to celebrate on a holiday weekend (and my cousin -and mother of my gods son- already said, they wont come) I want to make sure as many as possible can manage to come.
Ok, so here are the two:
I will print it out and decide which one we actually use.
btw, the pics were taken at a photo booth at franks company summerfest and we really liked them.
no need for extra spending, we think :-)
we finally found something!!
after looking at quite an amount of place we finally found something that has pretty much all of the things we want!
- spacious, sth that fits our party well and leaves enough space for some dancing and stuff
- in the area :-)
- a certain amount of rooms close by for all the oot guests (petty much all) + affordable room prices
only thing I was not into at first is the country- look (esp. the chairs, but with some decoration it will get festive Im sure
and here it is
the arrangement looks a little different now, because they now have antique tables and chaires which are larger. Unfortunately they do not allow us to but covers on the chairs (who would have thought that...) but we will do what we can. The DJ Team will also bring extra indirect lightning.
today we had an appointment with our photographer to get to know each other. Then we decided spontaneously to do an e-session just to see how it goes. This is the result, and dont mind our dresscode :-D
I really liked the idea of an activity book, because we have so many friends and family with kids coming. The age ist between 4 and 12 and I wanted to have something for everyone (at east some parts) However, I hardly could find any material in German that were wedding-related.
So I had to be creative :-) I used the same font and our monogramm. printed it out and tied it together with satin band in purple.
- pics where they can color (e.g. a model of the oldtimer we use)
- a draft to draw, what they are wearing that day
- a place where they can paint apic for us
- spot the difference
I will put that on a table with jars full of coloring pens (no markers because auf the antique furniture)