Wedding of Matthew Cottet and Heather Zajaczkowski

Words of Welcome: read by Pastor

Family and friends, we have come here today to celebrate love.  We are here to witness M and H’s lifelong commitment to one another, to offer our love and support to their union, and to allow them to start their married life together surrounded by the people most important to them.  Each of you is here today because you bring something special to the lives of M and H.  Some of you have known one or both of them for years – and some of you are meeting them for the very first time today.  Whether you are an old friend or a newly acquired relation, you have a special place in their hearts.  Likewise, you have a special purpose.  As beloved family and friends, each of you has played some part in bringing them to this moment and in various ways will continue to support and contribute to their relationship.  It is you with whom they’ll share their happiness.  You will watch their marriage mature; you will watch their children grow.  And when hard times come, and the loving support of friends and family is needed M and H hope to be able to turn to you, just as they will turn to each other.  

There has been a lot written on the subject of love as poet after playwrite after writer has tried to express its complexity in words. We've heard that love is patient and kind, clarifying and another form of hope. What it's safe to say is that the experience of love is different for everyone, and we are fortunate when we find someone who’s understanding of loves language, matches, or at least compliments our own.  I would now like to ask AH to come forward and share a reading with us.

Reading #1: read by AH

On cold winter nights, love is warm.
It lies between you and lives and breathes
and makes funny noises.
Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.

It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.

Love doesn't like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life, but you can never be mad at love for long.

Is love good all the time? No! No! Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love.

Love makes messes.
Love leaves you little surprises here and there.
Love needs lots of cleaning up after.
Sometimes you just want to get love fixed.
Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper
and swat love on the nose,
not so much to cause pain, just to let love know….Don't you ever do that again!

Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.
Because love loves exercise.
It runs you around the block and leaves you panting.
It pulls you in several different directions at once,
or winds around and around you until you're all wound up and can't move.

But love makes you meet people wherever you go.
People who have nothing in common but love stop and talk to each other on the street.

Throw things away and love will bring them back,
again, and again, and again.
But most of all, love needs love, lots of it.
And in return, love loves you and never stops.

Definition of Marriage: read by Pastor

Thank you A.

M and H, you have come here today from your varied life experiences to make public the commitment you have made to each other.  You come to combine your two separate lives into one.  Although you will be sharing one life, never forget you are two separate people.  Cherish and affirm your differences.  Love each other.  Keep your commitment foremost in your mind and heart.  Together you will laugh and cry, be sick and well, be happy and angry, share and grow.

To ensure a healthy lasting marriage, always, always value each other.  Although you will disagree, remember to respect each other’s feelings, needs, and wants.  And above all, never, never, lose your sense of humor.

Declaration of Intent: read by Pastor  with bride and groom participating

So now I ask:

M, you have chosen H to be your wife. Will you love and respect her? Will you be honest with her always? Will you stand by her through whatever may come? (Answer: 'I will')

H, you have chosen M to be your husband.  Will you love and respect him? Will you be honest with him always? Will you stand by him through whatever may come?  (Answer: 'I will')

And do you both promise to make the necessary adjustments in your personal lives in order that you may live in a harmonious relationship together?  (Answer: 'We do')

Vows of Support: read by Pastor with parents participating

Will the parents of M and H please stand.

To the parents of M and H, although they have embarked on this marriage through personal choice, their marriage will be enriched by the families from which they come.

With this in mind, I ask you, D, D, and S do you take this man, M into your hearts, that he might live from this day as your son, for he is dear and beloved to K and K and shall be to you and your family.  If so, answer we do.  H’s parents say we do.

And of you, K and K, I ask the same, do you take this woman, H into your hearts, that she might live from this day forward as your daughter, for she is dear and beloved to D, D and S, and shall be to you and your family.  If so, answer we do.  Matt’s parents say we do.

Vows:

M and H we now come to your vows. May I remind you that saying your vows is one thing, but nothing is more challenging than living them day by day. What you promise today must be renewed tomorrow, and each day that stretches out before you. Will you now please turn and face each other and hold hands.

M, if you wish to take H as your wife, then please repeat after me:

I, M, take you, H, to be my wife, my partner in life and my one true love.
I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever.
I will laugh with you in joy and cry with you in sorrow.
I will love you faithfully,
Through the best and the worst,
Through sickness and health. Through plenty and in want,
Whatever may come I will always be there.
As I have given you my hand to hold
So I give you my life to keep.

H, if you wish to take M as your husband, then please repeat after me:

I, H, take you, M, to be my husband, my partner in life and my one true love.
I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever.
I will laugh with you in joy and cry with you in sorrow.
I will love you faithfully,
Through the best and the worst,
Through sickness and health, Through plenty and in want,
Whatever may come I will always be there.
As I have given you my hand to hold
So I give you my life to keep.

Exchange of rings:

The wedding ring is the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual bond which unites two loyal hearts in endless love. It is a seal of the vows that M and H have made to one another today.

M—may I please have the rings?

(Pastor raises the rings) May these rings always remind you of the vows you have taken and the promises that have been made.

M, please repeat after me:

H, I give you this ring - that you may wear it - as a sign of my commitment – to our love. I pledge you my love and respect - my laughter and my tears. With you I will walk my path – from this day forward. With this ring, I thee wed.

H, please repeat after me:
M, I give you this ring - that you may wear it - as a sign of my commitment – to our love. I pledge you my love and respect - my laughter and my tears.  With you I will walk my path – from this day forward. With this ring, I thee wed.

OR

M may I please have the rings?  The rings you give and receive this day are the symbols of the endless love into which you enter as husband and wife.  Such a love has no beginning and no ending, no giver, and no receiver.  You are each the beginning and the ending, each the giver and the receiver.

M please repeat after me:

H, with this ring I give you my heart.  I promise from this day forward, you shall not walk alone.  May my heart be your shelter, and my arms be your home.

H please repeat after me:

M with this ring I give you my heart.  I promise from this day forward, you shall not walk alone.  May my heart be your shelter, and my arms be your home.

Engagement Ring:

M, please take the engagement ring.

This ring is the symbol of promise and intention.  The intention is realized and the promise is fulfilled.  Please place this ring on H’s finger over her band to symbolize that the love that brought you together will always protect and sustain your marriage.  M places the ring on H’s left hand.

Sand Cermony:

M and H, you have just committed yourselves to one another through sacred vows. Your lives are no longer two, but one. To symbolize this joining, we ask that you and your mothers each pour some sand into this frame.

S and K as you pour your sand into the container you are symbolizing the foundation of love you built in M and H from a young age.

 (S and K go first, then M and H: Each pours some sand from the jars into the frame. )

M and H as you pour your sand into the one container, please repeat after me:

 “As these grains of sand merge together as one,I merge my life with yours.

 Please take my love throughout the sands of time.

My heart is forever in your keeping.”

M and H as these grains of sand are joined together, so are your hearts, your bodies and your souls in marriage.

Matt and Heather pour sand into vessel while [song] plays.

2nd Reading: read by T O

I would now like to ask TO to come forward and share a closing reading with us.

Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.  And when it subsides you have to make a decision.  You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together this it is inconceivable that you should ever part.  Because this is what love is.  Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the exchange of eternal passion.  That is just being in love, which any fool can do.  Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.  Those that truly love have roots that grow toward each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.

Closing/Blessing: read by Pastor

Thank you T.

Family and friends, this is a moment of celebration.  Let it also be a moment of dedication.  The world does a good job of reminding us how fragile we are.  Individuals are fragile; relationships are fragile too.  Every marriage needs the love, nurture, and support of a network of friends and family.  On this wedding day I ask you not only to be friends of M or H, but friends of M and H together, friends of the relationship.

M and H, remember to treat both yourself and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together.

It will take trust, to know, that in your hearts, you truly want what is best for each other.

It will take dedication, to stay open to one another—and to learn and grow together.

It will take faith, to go forward together, without knowing exactly what the future brings.

And it will take commitment, to hold true to the journey you both have pledged to today.

May the love which has brought you together continue to grow and enrich your lives.

May you meet with courage any problems which arise to challenge you.  

May your marriage be one of ever-growing depth and meaning.

May you always respect the uniqueness of each other.

May your communication always be clear and honest and may your relationship always be one of love and trust.

May the happiness you share today be with you always and may every word you have pledged here be a living truth in your lives.

Rose Ceremony: read by Pastor

(Pastor turns and picks up the flowers behind him).

Your first gift to each other for your wedding today has been your wedding rings - which shall always be an outward demonstration of your vows of love and respect and a public showing of your commitment to each other. You now have what remains the most honorable title that exists between a woman and a man - the title of "wife" and "husband." It is now my great privilege to be the first to address you as such and for your first gift as wife and husband, that gift will be a single red rose bud.

(Minister hands each a red rose bud)

The rose is considered a symbol of love and a single rose always means only one thing - it means, "I love you." So it is appropriate that for your first gift that gift would be a single rose bud.

Please exchange your first gift as husband and wife. (pause while M and H exchange roses).  

In some ways it seems like you have not done anything at all. Just a moment ago you were holding one small rose - and now you are holding one small rose. In some ways, a marriage ceremony is like this.  Tomorrow is going to seem no different than yesterday. But in fact today, just now, you both have given and received one of the most valuable and precious gifts of life - one I hope you always remember - the gift of true and abiding love within the devotion of marriage.

M and H, I would ask that where ever you make your home in the future - whether it be a large and elegant home - or a small and graceful one - that you both select one very special location for roses; so that on each anniversary of this truly wonderful occasion you both may take a rose to that spot both as a recommitment to the holy vows which you have here today. 

Those of us who are already married know that marriage, like life, brings with it many joys and also many challenges. We also know that love, while beautiful, does not always show its prettiest face. There are days when we may find it hard to express the depth of our love for one another.

Sometimes it is difficult to find the right words. It might be difficult to find the words to say "I am sorry" or "I forgive you"; "I need you" or "I am hurting". If this should happen, if you simply can not find these words, leave a rose at that spot which both of you have selected - for that rose then says what matters most of all and should overpower all other things and all other words.

That rose says, "I still love you."

M and H, if there is anything you remember of this marriage ceremony, it is that it was love that brought you here today, it is only love which can make it a glorious union, and it is by love which your marriage shall endure. Whatever the situation, love, understanding, acceptance and forgiveness can make everything right.

Pronouncement of Marriage:
M and H... In as much as you have each pledged to each other your lifelong commitment, love and devotion, by the authority vested in me by the State of North Carolina, I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may now kiss!

After the kiss, GROOM and BRIDE turn to face their guests.

Introduction of the couple

It is my personal privilege and a great joy to be the first to introduce M and H Last Name as husband and wife.