ADVICE: Fi considering joining the Airforce!

So Fi and I have talked again and again, about the possibility of him joining the Force. Its something I wanted to do before having my daughter, and always thought it was a awesome career move/opportunity. Being that the Fi has had his share of drama/trouble... good jobs, bad... longterm & layoffs, he's now considerig the idea more than ever. He's almost at the max age (he's 26 & enlistment max is 28) and he's beginning to act like its now or never. However... the seperation worries both of us. I know there are a few military women/wives/fi's on here, so I just want to know... how does it work. from basic training on...

1. How will this effect our lives?

2. Will it be as easy as it seems for my daughter and I to relocate with him?

3. Is it worth me giving up my present job and become dependent on his income, or should I expect to be in search of employment myself, wherever we end up?

I could go on and on... I dont want to tell him no... but i definitely want to know just what we may be getting ourselves into & a recruiter may not be as open as we need. TIA!

Posted on January 5, 2010 at 7:48 am


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I thought the enlistment age was in the 30s.  Double check that before rushing in.

Posted on January 6, 2010 at 1:48 pm


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I don't know if this is still something you're thinking about, but I'm surprised others haven't responded on this.

For him, it's good to be able to have a steady income, there's no job security like government job security, especially now. It's not like you make amazing money, but it's steady and it pays the bills. Benefits are decent as well.

Relocating initially seems like it could be fun, a bit of an adventure, and at times it is. Moving all the time keeps things new and interesting and you get to see a lot, sometimes things/place that you wouldn't get to see if you weren't military. It also comes with its share of problems. Moving all the time ensures that you have a lot of acquaintances everywhere, but very few friends. Sometimes it can be lonely or boring, especially the first few weeks in a new place. You become more dependent on each other for guidance, companionship, everything. You're not YOU with your own friends, activities, things to do, many times you two ONLY have each other and not the network of friends and family that you're used to. Then again, if you have our's nice to be away and just visit a few times a year :) There are usually programs/groups in place to support your move and your concerns, but not everywhere. And changing schools for your daughter and getting all new sets of friends all the time can be a challenge. In some kids, it builds character, makes them more resilient to the fact that life ain't a bowl of cherries all the time, and expands their horizons. Other kids can be really negatively affected by it, just depends on the child's personality and groundedness.

Employment for you is your choice. It's definitely more comfortable to have the two incomes, and I'm pretty nervous about when we move this fall after the wedding and I don't have a job. The good thing is, I can go back to school and further my education if I DON'T find something, but I think I'll always be looking to do SOMETHING. Also, department of defense jobs are at every military base/post and are usually transferable, or once you have that type of job at one place, it's easier to get hired at another. Hopefully that's something that I can look into. It's definitely difficult to build a career with the constant moves, but if you land in the right field, or with the right company, you can transfer around. Think banks, hotels, big chain corporations that have a high turnover and don't mind sending employees elsewhere.


Posted on January 21, 2010 at 5:23 am


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This is a tough one for me to answer, as you'll be bringing your daughter into the entire situation too.  When I met my FH, I knew what he did and I knew what I was getting into.  Neither of us have kids and we've made the decision to wait about 5 years to have them.  I preface this with saying that this is my personal opinion and I am by no means trying to offend anyone...however, I have worked with military children (both stateside and overseas) for 5 years.  I LOVE it.  The one thing that it has taught me that although children are 100% resilient, by the time our children are in late middle school I want to be settled.  I want to give them the opportunity that I had in life...the opportunity to make those lasting friendship and to be grounded before starting high school.  

I totally agree with Jenn that employment is your choice--but I'm right there with her-I will always have at least a part time job.  I will always have my own money.  But, there are usually jobs available. It may not be in your career field, it may not be something you love--but it'll keep you busy!  I'm a I know regardless of where we go, i should be able to find kids to work with! :)


My FH and I sat down and made a list of pros and cons about him staying in and another one for him getting out.  We decided for us that him staying in works and will definitely continue to work--and this is one of those, "he's probably going to be a lifer" kind of things.


Things to think about:

What would his commitment be? 

What are your job possibilities?

What locations do you want to go?

What are the educational possibilities for your daughter?

What will the commitment get your FH (ie. college tuition for him or if he stays in for (I think 20 years) a college education for your daughter/you/one of your children)

Would your total income be comparable? (think about housing allowances, etc. included)

You'll have healthcare.

You'll have time apart--and will have to get through deployments.

How often will you move?


Overall, I think that it's a lot to take in and a lot to deal with.  I think talking to other people that are in, not just recruiters, will give you a true idea of what you're in for if you would make the decision for him to join.


What would your husband like to do in the AF? I'm sure there are many people on this site whose FH's would be happy to answer any questions you/your FH have.

Feel free to ask specific questions to any/all of us!  We'll be here for you!


Posted on January 21, 2010 at 8:53 am

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