Almost died laughing....

So I did my makeup in the morning after DH left for work. I gotta say I looked pretty good. Then I sat at my laptop and read an article on Jezbel.com and laughed so much and so hard, that the tears ruined my masterpiece :( Yep mascara was running down my cheeks as if I cried for hours. Lol....this is soooo funny and almost all of it is so true...


 


I figured this is a great group to post it in ;)


Enjoy and maybe let your man readi too....haha


 


http://jezebel.com/5922893/36-terrible-sex-tips-for-men

Posted on July 2, 2012 at 8:42 am
olga21
3
11/14/2009
olga21

olga21

  • 3
  • 12
  • 1.43k
98
Followers
102
Following

(6) Comments

Uhlease
5
09/02/2012
Uhlease

Uhlease

  • 5
  • 18
  • 9.81k
333
Followers
315
Following

Uhlease

Omg, I'm only through the first 'sex tip' and it's already hilarious! Thanks for sharin :)

Posted on July 2, 2012 at 11:09 am
DreamingOfYou
10
12/31/2011
DreamingOfYou

DreamingOfYou

  • 10
  • 17
  • 13.4k
408
Followers
412
Following

DreamingOfYou

Hahahahaaha too funny!  I love it.

Posted on July 2, 2012 at 11:35 am
amisaacs
3
09/02/2012
amisaacs

amisaacs

  • 3
  • 13
  • 1.18k
64
Followers
68
Following

amisaacs

4. "After your workout, reinforce her rising T with a sweaty makeout session: male saliva has 10 to 15 times more testosterone than the female's does… So prolonged French kissing may give a woman enough of a boost in testosterone to stimulate her interest chemically."
If she's averse to this idea, spit in her sports drink. It's been shown to improve the taste of Gatorade's entire G Series line. I cracked up out loud at this one!!


6. "If you're out in public but want to make your intentions clear, slowly and firmly flick your tongue against the palm of her hand. If she just wipes it off down her skirt, you've blown it."
On the upside, she's proven she's definitely not an evil sex robot. Um, EEEWWW!! If FI did this I'd smear it on his face!! How is licking my palm sexy???


Did your sweaty lips and testosterone-richsalivia not do the trick? Have your yogurty balls failed to bring all the girls to the yard?  hahahahaha!!


21. Take a pearl necklace and "…lightly lubricate the pearls and your penis. Have your partner wrap the pearls around the shaft and slowly stroke up and down with a gentle rotation."
Just don't tell Mother. She's still cross about the time she caught you rimming the good china. oh gawd! If FI handed me a pearl necklace and asked me to do that I'd bust out laughing!


23. "Try facial intercourse. This smooch mimics sex from foreplay to penetration, beginning with a tongue exploration inside the mouth. Rub your tongues together in small and large circles, then dart them in and out of your mouths as if you were having intercourse."
Here's a second take on that one: don't try facial intercourse. The mental image of a couple darting their tongues in and out is too much!!!! I am about to be rotfl!!


24. "Women need to warm up their feet and feel comfortable before they're in the mood for sex, a 2003 European study found." To warm up her trotters, you could ask her to "stretch one leg out to work on [your] johnson with her toes."
Or you could just rub her feet with your hands, you dick. Anyway, in my mind, people who say "trotters" and "johnson" in the same sentence don't get to have mutually orgasmic sex.  Yes, FI would totally ask me to put my icicle feet on his "johnson" or NOT. He actually bought me slippers to wear in bed so my cold feet don't touch him! lol


"Penises are sexy to women." Say it nightly as you do your lunges. HAHA!


 


Thanks for the laughs!!!

Posted on July 2, 2012 at 12:40 pm
olga21
3
11/14/2009
olga21

olga21

  • 3
  • 12
  • 1.43k
98
Followers
102
Following

olga21

I think my favorite was the yogurt balls one haha :D Seriously where do they get this dumb stuff?
Posted on July 2, 2012 at 1:01 pm
jmbuss9
5
07/22/2012
jmbuss9

jmbuss9

  • 5
  • 17
  • 8.13k
319
Followers
305
Following

jmbuss9

Hahahah! Thanks for the laugh! Lol!!

Posted on July 5, 2012 at 2:29 am
thechelsi
4
07/07/2012
thechelsi

thechelsi

  • 4
  • 18
  • 3.87k
230
Followers
232
Following

thechelsi

Hahahahahaha!!

Posted on July 10, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Have a question? Contact Support
Top Contributors this Week
NicholeB
31 posts
Canooknic
22 posts
krosa
18 posts
Linnn
17 posts
AshandTrev
15 posts
Levisjoe
13 posts