Anniversary Problem

Here's my issue my boyfriend and I just celebrated our 2 year anniversary.  I planned a specatular getaway.  All went wonderful except I received nothing in return (as a gift or card).  I feel I deserve something in return, I expressed my feeling about not even receiving a card!!  In my thoughts im totally justified in being upset, I just wanted to get other opinions.  I will say that I never ask him to buy me anything or bring me anywhere, which is why i'm a tad upset about this whole thing.  If you've had any experience with this or maybe tips that would bring this up in a way that an argument wouldnt arise.

Thanks for all your help

MrsMor

Posted on March 31, 2014 at 1:01 am
MrsMor
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(11) Comments

Canooknic
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07/19/2013
Canooknic

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Canooknic

 If you are upset that's ok, you are feeling hurt.

Did he know that you would be expecting something from him? The only reason that I ask is because men tend to think differently to women! Well, the men I know anyway!

DH and I don't celebrate things like that, we don't even tend to make a big deal of birthdays either TBH, but I regularly spoil him with nice meals and little gifts 'just because'.  I don't recall him ever doing anything similar for me, but that's how he is - yesterday we had family over for dinner and he said he was going to the store to buy wine and only came back with red wine for him and my BIL (I don't drink red!) When I questioned him on it he was genuinely shocked and said 'oh, you did say you wanted any....' Well after 7 years together I didn't think I had to ask!!!! 

As annoying as it is to have to set expectations (I know it takes the spontaneity out of it) I think it's something that a lot of men need. Try to focus on the lovely trip you had together, although you had to arrange it it was still a precious time together xx

 

Posted on March 31, 2014 at 9:15 am
Uhlease
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09/02/2012
Uhlease

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Uhlease

 I couldn't have said it better myself. Canook is so right-and guys (most guys...some of them like to do the surprise romantic things...but those are few!) think differently and don't even think twice. But I've been upset like that before, and I've told DH that I expect at least a card on some occasions! lol. 

Posted on March 31, 2014 at 10:10 am
MrsMor
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 Thank you both! I guess im mostly upset becuase I dont ever get a card for any occasion or holiday( he knows this bugs me too!!) , but I told him the night before to go out and get one the morning we left since he was going to the gym that morning (theres a supermarket right next to the gym) so I told him to stop either on his way there or on the way home, and he couldnt do that, It just makes me feel that im so unimportant that he cant take 5 minutes out of his gym routine to buy a card.  I think i'm going slow down on doing romantic things for him for a little while as I work 2 jobs and am in school myself. anywho sorry about that rant.  But thank you both I understand a little better.

Posted on March 31, 2014 at 10:19 am
Canooknic
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07/19/2013
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Canooknic

 You are always welcome to vent here xx

Posted on March 31, 2014 at 10:59 am
Uhlease
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Uhlease

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Uhlease

 Definitely a great place to vent! But do make sure he treats you well regardless of the little anniversary cards and what not. It sounds like you try to surprise him, just make sure he appreciates you and does show that he cares :) :) 

Posted on March 31, 2014 at 3:37 pm
MOBRIDE72
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MOBRIDE72

I don t blame you at all. I would be upset too. Yea men think differently but they arent completely clueless. I think backing off on what you do for him sounds like a good idea.
Posted on March 31, 2014 at 7:42 pm
emawasten
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04/22/2015
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emawasten

 I know its worst feeling.You expect a little on special occasion of your life.You can tell him that .But just try to do it lightly.

Posted on April 1, 2014 at 12:28 am
Bated_breath
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09/14/2014
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Bated_breath

Men cannot read between the lines, so we need to help them a little. Slight hints, some women magic, and you will have everything you want. 

Or discuss it with him directly. Like.. sit and decide if you guys plan to exchange gifts on this or that event.

My FI also never forgets special dates. You know why? Because I remind him. :) 

Good luck and don't stress about this. :)

Posted on April 1, 2014 at 1:51 am
poppyaka
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06/11/2011
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poppyaka

My friend has a bf that in the beginning he didn't recognize her on Valentine's Day with a card or anything.  He explained to her (which I think she knew) that he was never raised to celebrate certain holidays and such like that. 

I think if you have or had a discussion with him about your expectations that will help a lot.   At times we have to remember we all weren't raised the same way.  Especially to acknowledge certain holidays and such.  I'm a firm believer that you teach people the way you want to be treated.  Just having a friendly discussion about what happened and what's important to you in the future may help future slip ups...men are weird sometimes lol.

Posted on April 3, 2014 at 2:04 pm
jackieblack07
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09/29/2009

jackieblack07

Comment has been removed by Project Wedding due to a violation of our Terms of Use
Posted on April 22, 2014 at 5:11 am
Lli
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05/07/2015
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 Men cannot read minds, and we are much more sensitive and nurturing.  They are not.  You need to say something like, "Honey, I'm planning a great get-away, just for you and me.  Make sure you have nothing to do next weekend.  And, since this is a special date for us both, I hope that you think of a great gift for me, your sweet lovely, bride to be."  In other words, if you don't ask, you don't get!  Chin up.  Tell him you need a romantic date with him and that he should plan something for your next holiday.

Posted on April 30, 2014 at 9:50 pm

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