Any other long distance brides out there?

Hi, just wondering how many brides are planning a wedding without their FIs being in the same town.  My FI lives in NYC and I live in Fla. and altho he is looking for a job here so far no luck.  Im hoping that by our wedding date he will have solid job here but in the meantime its left me to plan on my own with an occasional opinion from him here and there.  I get disgusted sometimes and was wondering if anyone else is going thru this.

Posted on August 24, 2009 at 6:34 am
cd5562
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(20) Comments

LadyY
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Fi and I live 4878 miles away from each other, so I guess things can always be worse ;)

Posted on August 24, 2009 at 6:38 am
GinaBEE
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uggg i did this for 2.5 years, SUCKS!!! we went to different colleges (i was in chicago and he was in daytona beach) but we did rack up lots of frequent flyers! HANG IN THERE!!

Posted on August 24, 2009 at 6:46 am
GinaBEE
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ohhh and some optimistic thinking...my man was able to land a job here in chicago so it all had a happy ending :) wishing you well

Posted on August 24, 2009 at 7:00 am
cd5562
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LadyY, I feel ya, thanks for making me feel a little better. 


GinaBee you know what I'm talking about for sure. 


We try to go away together twice a year but this year only once (this past May) cause we need to save money for the wedding.  He comes and visits me once a month (its getting costly) to check in, so to speak, and make sure we're still on the same page.  But it's gotten to the point where that's not even enuf anymore. 


Thanks for your encouragement :)


 

Posted on August 24, 2009 at 7:01 am
cd5562
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Wow that is great news GinaBEE!  I just spoke to my FI and he's so depressed about not finding a job here yet.  He even feels that I am becoming distant because come weekends I'm out and about doing what I always do... I'm sorry that entertainment here in Fla is way cheaper than in NYC and I can afford to go out where he can't.  Like this weekend, I went to the House of Blues to see a popular Latin artist/band and thru Subway it only cost me $5 for a ticket that would normally be $46!  I jumped on it.  Friday I went out with my girlfriends, I was able to eat (albeit a kids meal), and have 2 beers and my bill was $5.33!  No such thing in NYC!  Anyhow... now he's saying that if he doesnt get a job we wont be able to get married~! WTF?  Now I'm getting depressed :(

Posted on August 24, 2009 at 7:45 am
criowabride
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I am in Cedar Rapids, Iowa (Wedding location)


FI is in Portland, Oregon - over 2000 miles away.


I am moving Sept 15th (wedding is this weekend) with no job.  I know it's hard, but do what is best for your future.  You CAN still get married and live in different places.  Had I not sold my house this would have been what we did.  Plus it may be easier for your FI to find a job if he were there. Talk it over with him, you will figure it out.

Posted on August 24, 2009 at 7:58 am
GinaBEE
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ohh and let me mention that hours and hours on the phone made it feel like we were together...we had a rule, at least 30 min a day on the phone, even if it was a quick 10 min call a few times a day. It totally sucks, we felt all the frustration you do, but cheer up, it will all work out. and the trick...don't let things become distant...share every detail of your day, even random things, make the effort :)

Posted on August 24, 2009 at 8:02 am
stagislandbride
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fi and I are long distance....have been the entire course of our 6 year relationship.  I can't wait for it to be over!

Posted on August 24, 2009 at 8:02 am
cd5562
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Thanks criowabride, I appreciate your advice and encouragement.  Sometimes I think men PMS too... Rich must be PMS-ing and feeling all down on himself.   I had told him, and I don't remember if it was in jest, that I was not going to marry someone and live in another state cause what would be the point.  Truth is I would do whatever needs to be done.  We've already put out lots of money for this wedding to take place and im afraid if he cancels on me he may as well stay in NYC!


More importantly, CONGRATULATIONS!!! I hope your wedding is everything you have dreamed it would be and more! Have fun!  And good luck with your move too :)

Posted on August 24, 2009 at 8:05 am
LadyY
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FI & I talked about us meeting up in person for quite a while, cause we knew that the love we already felt was going to be 100x stronger. But we both decided we would go for it, and that something this special would be worth it. And that's what we keep telling each other; no regrets. Of course it's so hard sometimes (especially now FI wanted to come over in a few weeks and the prices for tickets went CRAZY!), but we'll keep our head up, and we'll be together eventually.


The thing FI & I do is talk, talk and talk some more. Especially when one of us feels lonely, down, not feeling well, problems at work or in the family. We call each other every day, and like GinaBEE says, sometimes for even 10 minutes.


Although we're an ocean apart (and 7 hours time difference!) we're still planning and getting this wedding organised together.


You guys can make it too!

Posted on August 24, 2009 at 12:32 pm
LoveBird912
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FI is in PA and I'm in upstate NY, and it's been me and my mom planning the wedding, because all my bridesmaids and my sister my MOH isn't local anymore either.Sometimes I feel kind of robbed of the whole engagement experience becaues I have to go to meetings alone, meet with vendors without him, make decisions over the phone, try and remember all the updates when we talk, send countless emails... but every time I see him it makes it alll worth it, Long Distance is hard, but if you can make it through, you'll be stronger than ever. And thank god, in 19 days, I'll never have to be apart from him again! :D

I gave this advice to someone else, and it really helps me: People associate millions of memories by smell, so I have him spray the panda bear he got me for valentines day our first year of dating with his cologne, so when I go to sleep alone, I can roll over and get a whiff of my scruptious man, and it brings back all the happy memories of being close and hugging and being together, it helps in the dry spells, and when the scent fades, I know it's time to see him again for a refresher!

Posted on August 24, 2009 at 1:40 pm
par228
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another long distance bride here...we've been together for almost 10 years..and its been a long distane relationship the entire time...i've been mostly planning the wedding on my own along w/ my planner.  he comes down for the big deposits or to meet with the vendor that I've narrowed down...

Posted on August 24, 2009 at 2:46 pm
MrsAnderson
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i live in South America and FI lives in MD....planning has its challenges and it is a little more expensive...

Posted on August 24, 2009 at 2:51 pm
apple923
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FI is in CO and I'm in MT...it's about a 9 hour drive so it definitely could be worse, but we rarely get to talk because of my work schedule and his school/military schedule. The wedding is in WA which definitely makes things more difficult. It's hard to actually get his opinion on something. I just end up e-mailing TONS of pictures so he knows what I'm talking about.

Posted on August 24, 2009 at 3:17 pm
d1rtymart1n1
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we're married and still live apart...


we live about 300 miles away from each other


 

Posted on August 24, 2009 at 7:07 pm
par228
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d1rty..that must be so difficult..we're still trying to figure out when he's going to move to LA..i want him to find a job here before he does.

Posted on August 24, 2009 at 7:08 pm
d1rtymart1n1
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eh - it's ok...  it's not ideal but it's what has to be right now ya know?


def the job thing is muy importante!  hahaha  duh as if you didnt know tht already ;-)


for us, it's taking care of my elderly father (i'm an only child, so it's just me taking care of him)  and i recently got laid off - so that compounds it a bit...


so our conundrum is - and has been for quite a while - who is moving where?


if i move to greener pastures (job market for what i do is better in socal) then there is nobody here to look after my dad; if we decide to live up here, the job market for me isnt that great...


ugh!  one day at a time...


 

Posted on August 24, 2009 at 7:12 pm
chellxoxo
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We are long distance! 3000 miles, I live on the coast in California & he lives on the water in Maryland, it is literally an East Coast/West Coast relationship and has been for over 3 years. I am planning everything on my own, we try to plan all our appointments on his leave (he is military). His big wedding job is planning the honeymoon!

Posted on August 24, 2009 at 7:23 pm
m.h.1.23
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We are super long distance. I am in FL and he is in Baghdad. Yep. That is quite a distance. So not only is he not physically here to plan with me, I also can't call him to talk to him about things- I have to wait for him to call. I end up making all the decisions without him. 


We will also have a LD marriage for at least the first year. But we should both be in the US then, so it won't be anywhere near as bad as it is now. 


Hang in there. 

Posted on August 25, 2009 at 4:40 am
cd5562
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cd5562

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Wow girls!


apple923  Definatley a challenge being that you can't speak to eachother too often :(  That's tough, I'm here to vent on if you need me :)


d1rtymart1n1 WOW, you're doing it, even married!!! You have a unique albeit hard situation and I give you super props for being the good daughter and sacrificing.  Is it possible for you to move to socal and take your father with you?  I know that isn't what a newlywed wants but being apart has to be just as hard.  Hang in there, you're a strong and brave woman!


chellxoxo you have a great attitude!  Thanks for sharing :)


m.h.1.23 It must be so hard to have your honey so far away and unreachable.  I guess I need to quit my whining cause at least I see my FI once a month.  I know how you feel doing everything on your own, but there is one solace to that... it's that you get everything done your way :D


Cheers to you all!  You are so wonderful to share with me, thanks!

Posted on August 25, 2009 at 4:53 am

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