anyone else feel like this wedding isn't theirs anymore?

I feel like everyone is making decisions that effect me, besides ME!!!


My mom, my FMIL, my FSIL! everyone, but me. I know it really isn't the case, but I feel like it at the moment. I feel like I am constantly complaining to FI about his Mom and the way she is handling this wedding stuff..... anyone else in this boat??

Posted on July 24, 2008 at 6:27 pm
jharks
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(16) Comments

MissQnomore
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Um...ya!!!! FMIL emailed me the other day about her and her sister's plans for our favors.  Then she said she had already looked at a couple places for our RD and will let me know what she chooses.  WTH???  I know that mostly it is coming from an excited/helpful place, but it's really annoying sometimes.

Posted on July 24, 2008 at 6:33 pm
GondaluvsGondo
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I'm having the opposite problem...there hasn't been a peep out of either side!  sometimes we  feel so alone and unsupported... 

Posted on July 24, 2008 at 7:18 pm
jackieg
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harkins...i'm right there with you....like some others have said...sometimes an event of this magnitude brings out issues that never would have come to the foreground....ugh....hang in!

Posted on July 25, 2008 at 2:31 am
WMforever
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dude, i so know what you mean. luckily that's died down but  i dont think its over on my end. reminds me of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" when the parents pulled out the invites they made, the sister brings out the dresses she made, etc. ahh~!

Posted on July 25, 2008 at 4:28 am
jackieg
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jackieg

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i feel a little like gonda too....sometimes i feel like nobody wants to talk about our wedding...and then when they do, it's criticism....

Posted on July 25, 2008 at 4:29 am
jharks
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ok, glad I am not alone here. So here is the latest thing. My FSIL (still in college) is wearing a WHITE dress to our rehearsal! My mom thinks I am overreacting, but come on, the wedding is in October, it isn't like the middle of the summer and everyone will be in light colors etc. ugg

Posted on July 25, 2008 at 5:13 am
mt51
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Yes! My mom just ordered a set of favors that I was not aware of. I found out from my aunt. My dad is inviting a lot of guests that I do not like. He's calling my wedding a "networking event." WTF! FMIL has a ton to say about my gown..little does she know that I ordered it. Well, she has a lot to say about the price and style. She compares it to the price of fsil's gown. "Oh her dress only cost this much and she looked so pretty in it."

Ugh. Shoot me.
Posted on July 25, 2008 at 5:19 am
Sarahinwonderland
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Yes UGGH. My dad is paying for the wedding so everything is basically "His way" unfortunately he is only making the wedding suitable for his family, when my moms side is totally opposite. If my dad plans it his way my mom and her family will not have any fun. So I am trying to keep things fun for both sides. This does not even include FIs family and friends, just mine :( I guess that is what happens when parents divorce.

Posted on July 25, 2008 at 5:24 am
HolyMolyMatrimony
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I'm the opposite, no one cares or gives a sh*t what we, or should I say "I" do.  Therefore I feel stressed trying to figure everything out all the time on my own- that's why I have all of you :) haha


I completely know what you mean though- there are only 2 things they are seeming to care about- and I just need them to relax b/c its the last thing on my mind right now!


- HMM :)

Posted on July 25, 2008 at 6:08 am
j8chan02
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LOL, I thought it was only ME =)  Whenever my FI asks his mom who's wedding is she planning anyways, she says it's HERS! =)  I've come to grips with it and have decided to have a second ceremony all my own =)  That way we both get what we want.  My FMIL gets her traditional Chinese wedding with all the trimmings, and I get my ceremony the way I want it.  Luckily, FMIL will be paying for the traditional wedding thereby I will have more money for my own =)  HTH

Posted on July 25, 2008 at 6:13 am
Soon2BeENR
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That's funny about the "networking event".  I'm just showing up to my wedding....I left in all in my fiance and his familys' hands!

Posted on July 25, 2008 at 6:32 am
MissQnomore
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I wonder...is this just what happens?  Our mothers had to give in to their mothers and FMIl's wishes so they never got "their" wedding.  And that's why they're so involved in ours?  I hope to not do that to my daughter though, or son's future wife.

Posted on July 25, 2008 at 6:34 am
mt51
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MissQ, I can relate to that. My mom never had a big wedding. She's really excited about mine but I'm feeling less and less excited about it everyday. I now want a smaller and intimate wedding. We can't get away with a small wedding. Fmil will have a fit. She already had a fit when I suggested a destination wedding early in our engagement.


Wow, J8, I would definitely throw down a fit if fmil said that.


Do we have a word for fmil bridezillas? Maybe fmilzilla? Lol.

Posted on July 25, 2008 at 6:40 am
jharks
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MissQ- I think that is EXACTLY it. My mom and I had it out the other day, and when my dad was trying to calm me down after, he said that she is just doing what she knows, her mother took control of their wedding and so she thinks that it is her party to throw in my honor. Or some crap like that. bla.

Posted on July 25, 2008 at 6:46 am
MissQnomore
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sheesh drama!!!


 

Posted on July 25, 2008 at 7:27 am
lipia3
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Gonda I am going through the same thing.  It's almost like everyone is "tired" of hearing you discuss the wedding.  On the other hand, I do have one sister that "crammed" a reception site down my thorat and like a fool I booked it.  Well, long story short, it wasn't what I really wanted and I just re-booked elsewhere the other day. 

Posted on July 25, 2008 at 7:36 am

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