Anyone else going through emotional ups and downs?

Hi Ladies,


I was just wondering if anyone else is going through emotional ups and downs when it comes to all of this planning? I'm hesitant to give specific details of all that I've been going through and feeling because I know that this site is viewed by many and you never know...But needless to say I've been having a rough time and feeling like I'm the only one who's putting 100% into this thing. I've been feeling a bit resentful and it's affected some of my feelings about everything. Anyone else feel this way at all? I'm just tired and stressed and wondering when I'm going to feel excited again and not like this whole thing is a burden that I'm dealing with alone.


 


You can PM me if you feel uncomfortable about posting. Thanks.

Posted on June 30, 2008 at 8:14 am
Paddysgirl
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10/05/2008
Paddysgirl

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(12) Comments

AMiller
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09/13/2008
AMiller

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AMiller

I go through ups and downs. I get excited then super stressed. You are not alone.

Posted on June 30, 2008 at 8:18 am
d1rtymart1n1
20
12/04/2009
d1rtymart1n1

d1rtymart1n1

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you're def not alone!!!


i was pissed then disappointed then at peace when he had to push it out - i mean, it wasnt fh's fault his company tanked and he got laid off... TG he's working again so we're back on track...


ummm, i do get pangs of emo - especially when it comes to missing my moms and still accepting that my father may not attend...


but i try to keep everything in perspective - that this day is about me and fh taking a big leap of faith and starting out own family...


everythign else - arguing over bills, arguing over the guestlist, etc doesnt matter...

Posted on June 30, 2008 at 8:24 am
FutureMrsCav
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07/05/2008
FutureMrsCav

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your sooo not alone. i get very happy the very angry then super stressed then depressed.I'm a ball of mixed emotions.

Posted on June 30, 2008 at 8:27 am
jackieg
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04/17/2009
jackieg

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i get all excited and plan and complete a bunch of stuff...then i get bummed thinking about how much airfare is going to be (we're in Dallas, wedding in SF) and hotel costs and cost to ship stuff out there....that, and I keep changing my mind on stuff when i see stuff online, whether it be centerpieces, menu cards, whatever!  I keep thinking maybe i should just not look at stuff for a while (PW excluded, of course), but overall FI has been GREAT!  More than i could've asked for!

Posted on June 30, 2008 at 8:30 am
mt51
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08/04/2012
mt51

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Yep, you're definitely not alone.


I got bummed for not finding the perfect dress in a short amount of time. It got to the point where I took a 1-2 month break from dress shopping. I even stopped looking at bridal magazines.


I also get bummed at the fact that airfare is increasing. Most of my relatives will have to fly to my wedding. I don't know if they can make it due to the high travel cost. Our "dream honeymoon" might not happen either.


I wanted to include my bf in my wedding party. We've had our own ups and downs. So, I decided to no longer include her. I even considered not inviting her. (Long story)


Had and still having issues with the fmil....

Posted on June 30, 2008 at 8:58 am
HeLovesMe
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04/25/2009
HeLovesMe

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You are NOT alone. I think everyone goes throw the ups & downs. I've just started planning & there are times I want to tell FI let Elope. And the sad part its not even hard stuff with us, its from others outside who are just jealous. BUt it does take a toll. I say stay strong & before you know it, your spirits will be up again.

Posted on June 30, 2008 at 9:04 am
jharks
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10/11/2008
jharks

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Yep, I'm there, I call it "wedding pregnancy" I am all over the place with emotions.... I hope it stops when the wedding "baby" comes (I know it is wierd, but that is the only way I was able to explain what I was going through to FI)

Posted on June 30, 2008 at 9:09 am
abattyref
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10/06/2007
abattyref

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abattyref

I think we all feel this way at some point in the wedding planning process. You're definately not alone.


There were times where I was very excited to be engaged and I'd get so frustrated when it felt like I was the only one with any enthusiasm. I even got pissed at DH a few times when he'd show a complete lack of enthusiasm. I didn't expect him to be downright perky, but I had to talk to him a couple of times to make sure he wanted this wedding at all! I also had some days where I just didn't want to deal with any of it because I'd wished we had a bigger budget, or I was sad that it was turning into a wedding that wasn't my dream wedding. There were many times where I just wanted to take DH and run away and elope. I know he felt the same way too.


I was even a little sad just weeks before the wedding... regreting one of my choices in BM... wishing I would have budgeted more money for photography... wishing I would have shopped around more for jewelry. I was also bummed because of a few close friends who weren't going to be there due to costs of travel.


Thankfully all of those feelings vanished when I saw everything come together.... and DH smile and tell me how his family was so impressed with the entire day. It suddenly felt like all of the stress and bullsh!t and emotions were completely worth it.

Posted on June 30, 2008 at 9:47 am
Paddysgirl
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10/05/2008
Paddysgirl

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Thanks everyone. All of your posts really help me feel not so alone. I totally understand the "wedding pregnancy" and mixed ball of emotions thing. What I have the biggest problem with is that FI is the biggest procrastinator and so I have to wait on him for so many things. He's also been working alot so that doesn't help at all. I could have taken care of everything like 2 months ago and the closer we get to the wedding and we still haven't finished these things, the more I get resentful. Not a good feeling to go into a marriage with. I had a bit of a meltdown this weekend and I stressed how much all of this is stressing me out. He understood. Yesterday, he pretty much booked all of the hotels for our honeymoon so I'm hoping this is the dawn of a new era;-) We'll see. I've realized we have verrrry different styles when it comes to planning. I do everything right away and get it done with and he waits until the last minute and then blasts through things. Drives me a little bonkers!

Posted on June 30, 2008 at 9:48 am
khill
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11/09/2008
khill

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I have been going through this for the last week or two. I feel that I am putting all my effort and free time into the wedding and my FH doesn't put much time at all. He sometimes forgets to ask how the planning is going. I don't know if any of you have felt this way, but sometimes I feel like I am not enjoy the process of planning my wedding (I feel like I have to sit and look around and remember that this is all for my big day). Of course, there are also those times when I get so happy and all I want to talk about is what's next of my list/ or what I have just finished doing. I guess it all part of the planning process.

Posted on June 30, 2008 at 9:56 am
Paddysgirl
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10/05/2008
Paddysgirl

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Thanks Abattyref- I can totally relate to what you wrote. I have been even more bummed because we've gotten a few "declines" and I know none of my relatives back east will be able to make it because of the economy.


I've also had some difficulties with the BM outfits and it's been stressing me. Basically I knew going into this that one of my BMs wouldn't wear a dress. Not for me. Not at all. But it was more important for me to have her than have the pretty dresses I wanted for them. But I've gotten so much flack from people about it that it's been bumming me out. People are just incredulous that she won't wear a dress for me and that she's not considering my feelings and what I want. I'm so tired of having to say, "Yes, she's wearing nice slacks" and then having people's eyes bug out. Aargh. It's been such an issue because both my BMs are self-conscious about their bodies and so they don't want anything strapless for the tops or even any part of their arms exposed and they've been kind of picky about the style of tops they wear that I've just about given up. Ugh. Like I don't have enough to worry about.


Thanks for letting me vent. It really does help. I've been kind of disappointed in different ways and by different people that it's been tough. But this has helped a bit.

Posted on June 30, 2008 at 10:10 am
Paddysgirl
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Paddysgirl

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Khill-I totally relate. Mine forgets to ask all the time. He is so wrapped up in his job and other things that he flat out just doesn't ask. We actually had a bit of a row about it this weekend and I just flat out told him how upset that made me. He understood and apologized and told he he'd try harder. But I feel ya.


I think there's such a huge pressure on brides about it being "our big day" that it gets to me. Thank god I have this site for ideas. I'd be lost without it. I'd have literally no idea what to do.


There are so many things that I don't think are "fair" when it comes to weddings like all the freakin money I have to spend on my clothing. Dress, shoes, jewelry, hair/makeup, undergarments, lingerie, etc. and he basically doesn't have to spend a dime because he has a tux and that's what he's going to wear. I figure I'll have spent (adding totals up) close to $1800 for this little soiree. He'll maybe spend $30 to get his hair cut. Normally I'd have passed out if you told me that was what I was going to spend just for an outfit and making myself "bridey" but I've come to just accept that we get ripped off because we are brides. I try not to think about it too much(like how that money could have paid for half our honeymoon!).


I will say that this whole process has showed me how awesome women are and just how much we care about the little details. I notice those things and I just love how everyone on here really cares not only about how their day will go for them but for the comfort of their guests. This is why women rule!! :-)


 

Posted on June 30, 2008 at 11:31 am

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