Anyone gotten that weird comment...

about being a bride in your 30s?


My grandmother, I love her so, has made few comments.  She's said "It's about time."  "I thought you were never getting married."


Anyone else?

Posted on November 18, 2009 at 6:36 am
starbux
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(20) Comments

verdes
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Hi Tiffany, my parents had pretty much given up on me getting married, because I would always say I wasn't ready so they were happy when I got engaged. When I told my aunt that I was engaged she said "better late than never", I didn't take it personally because I had always heard comments like this from the women in my family telling me my time was running out (this was in my late 20s) I would just respond that I was not about to settle & then end up divorced. I think it's the perfect time! We are both sure of ourselves, know what we want & what we don't & there is less game playing.

Posted on November 18, 2009 at 9:11 am
akaybrown
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FI and I have been dating for 6 years so I've been getting the questions for a while. The worst is my gyno who I had to visit recently who gives me the 15 minute lecture about how I need to have kids immediately or risk not being able to. I'm sure there's truth to that but I'm not going to have kids before I'm ready just to make her feel better. Ugh!

Posted on November 18, 2009 at 1:30 pm
starbux
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Akay - That is horrible.  Look at Nicole Kidman having a baby at 42.  I don't think there's any rush.  I always thought I would have kids before 30 but it didn't work out that way.  As it stands right now I'll probably be about 36 when we have a baby.


I personally agree with you, Verdes, that our 30s are a great time to get married.  We know ourselves better and are secure in our own skin.  Looking back I don't think I could have gotten married in my 20s.  I was too silly and crazy.


 


 

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 4:17 am
soon2beMrs.Jackson
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not really but we have had a few relatives ask how long we are going to wait to have children since we AREN'T getting any younger....it is kind of annoying.

Posted on November 20, 2009 at 1:46 am
meanyprice
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Not so much about being 30, but just that it was about time because DH and I dated for almost 7 years. 


Of course, my mother did believe that if my 30th birthday came and I wasn't married with children, the world would end!!

Posted on November 20, 2009 at 1:56 am
jlynvjodie
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I got it more from my mother than anything else.  But like verdes, I wasn't about to settle either.  My MOH likes to say I kissed a lot of frogs to find my prince.  Looking back....she is absolutely right, lol!!

Posted on November 20, 2009 at 2:25 am
mahoganieyes
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My mom has never said anything about getting married and having kids. But the people who make comments are the outsiders; so called friends, and coworkers. I guess everything goes down hill once you hit 30?!

Posted on November 20, 2009 at 4:40 am
Octobersky
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No, but all my friends know that I will KARATE CHOP them in a heartbeat if they say something inane as that to me.


As for the family if any of your grandparents, parents were born in the 20's thru the 50's they're most definitely going to say something like that. It's totally just there way of thinking unfortunately.

Posted on November 20, 2009 at 5:08 am
meanyprice
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Early last year I said something about wanting tulips as my flowers (which didn't happen, but oh well), and she was like "but that means you won't get married until next spring...your clock is ticking".  DH and I weren't even engaged then.  I about died! 

Posted on November 20, 2009 at 5:49 am
KristinaG
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More times than I can count!


Shortly before my 26th birthday, a housekeeper at my work (whom I'd only said 
"Hello" and "Good Morning" to before) suggested I let her introduce me to her nephews "because no one will want to marry you after you after 25".


Around 28, so called "friends" began suggesting I stop being "so picky".  Settle?  Hell no!


A year or so before Fi proposed, my Mom started in on a several month long rant about  "How horrible it would be to grow old alone with no one there to take care of you.  How AWFUL it would be to be ALL ALONE like that....".  Fi openly admits he delayed the proposal just to mess with her. : )


I've even noticed how some wedding vendors tend to cater to twenty something brides and kind of ignore us older women.  Some even go as far as to assume this is our second or third wedding (hello, first for both of us!).


And yes, even my GYN has suggested I look into "egg preservation" and single parenthood options. 


Geesh!

Posted on November 20, 2009 at 7:35 pm
ChrisNScott
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My Aunt told me shortly after we were engaged "I was seriously going to ask him (FI), what was wrong with him, it's been long enough, he needed to do something already"


OMG.

Posted on November 21, 2009 at 3:51 am
starbux
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Kristina - WOW!  "And yes, even my GYN has suggested I look into "egg preservation" and single parenthood options."  THAT'S INSANE!!!


 


I feel like some of the younger brides are catered to sometimes.  I guess I look young because most people think I'm around 25 or 26.  When they find out that I'm 34 I get the "And is this your first marrige?" question with the condescending tone and eye rolls.

Posted on November 28, 2009 at 6:15 am
KristinaG
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starbux - I know, huh! I just laugh it off : )

Posted on November 30, 2009 at 6:36 am
HISRIB2010
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Alot of my older family members, got married younger, hell my grandparents were married by the time the were like 16  & 19 years old. I got the what are you waiting on speech. My mom even confided in me tht my granny before she passed asked my mom, she so pretty, why is she having a hard time meeting anyone... Yes, I did even go through my times of wondering if I'd ever find THE ONE but I refused to settle just to be married.


I love the fact that we both bring things to the table. Maturity, financial independence, etc. Yeah being 35 now and by the time were married I'll be 36 but age is just a number, like Starbux, when I tell people how old I am, there amazed because they take me for someone in there late 20's ( good jeans =) )    

Posted on January 26, 2010 at 11:37 pm
LauraSweet
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Well, no, because I was married at 18.  And my sister just got married at 34 (first and only), so me having my 2nd wedding at 32 isn't really comment-worthy for anyone in my life.

Posted on January 27, 2010 at 3:06 pm
DreamingOfYou
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I don't though my DH get lots of questions because he was forty when we got married and will be in his mid forties when we have our vow renewal.  They wonder why he has never been married before.  He says it was because he was waiting for the right one.  Awwww so sweet. 


Whereas I am 35 and had a horrible marriage while in my early 20s.  They know that it took me a long time to get over so it was no surprise to them that I waited.

Posted on January 27, 2010 at 5:05 pm
pixie_perfect_by
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The weirdest comment is from my own father, bless his heart (*rolls eyes*). I had been divorced for almost 4 years when I told my family I got engaged ....my dads reply.... "boy you jumped right out of the frying pan and into the fire didn't you?" Thanks Dad. This coming from the same man that said...."it's about time'' when I told him I was getting a divorce. He has such a way with words!! God help me!! LOL But I love him anyways!

Posted on April 17, 2010 at 6:54 pm
futuremsbracey
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futuremsbracey

Not really..  Because everyone knows that I am set in my ways and would not get married just to get married like a lot of people I know.. I am comforatable getting this married in life.. I am set in my ways.. I know likes and dislikes.. I am the last of my friends to get married tho..  They are ecstatic.. I really didnt care if I got married or not.. Just not the type of girl that has to be in a relationship...

Posted on September 15, 2010 at 1:58 pm
altonece
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No comments. I have a girlfriend who just turned 32 and her mom is all over her like I want babies. When are you giving me a grandchild?! I was like what? I have never had that kind of pressure from anyone. My FI and I have gone through our rocky times but we made it and I mean, who is the same person at 19 as they are when they are 25, 27 or 30? I am 35 and am getting married 20 days before I turn 36. I have never been one to be stressed about being married. I will never forget when I was little, my dad said I was never going to get married because I argue too much. I think it stuck with me because I was never stressed about getting married or having kids. (I am not really convinced on the children thing either.) So no, no one asked when we were going to get married. The most I would get is, you have been dating this guy for how long? How come we haven't met him? Even with the engagement, most of my mom's side of the family has never met him, so they are really more in shock than anything else.


But to add to this loooong post, I went to my primary care physician about a month ago and she asked me if I was going to put my parts to use. I was like nope, not planning on it. She was like, hey. You never know. I was pregnant at 39. I was sooo not looking to have a child and here I am...a mom. I get that it could happen. I have cousins that married at 38 and 40. These same cousins had their children at 40 and 41. My other cousin adopted two adorable children. My mom had me at 39. So I guess I could change my mind on the children thing, but in the end. No pressure from anyone...only my doctor. Go figure. (smh)

Posted on March 11, 2011 at 2:35 pm
miss_yhett
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me too

Posted on August 21, 2011 at 1:37 am

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