Anyone have any conflicts with their parents?

   Hi I recently got engaged over the christmas holidays to my man of 4 years! When i showed them the ring and told them that i got engaged they werent at all happy for me at all. No congradulations or anything. But instead they congradulate my half sister who just got her g1 and so happy for her that they ask me when im getting my g1.I've been having conflicts with them since i've been with my fiance and even before that when i hit 16. Im so angry and disappointed in all the hard word that i put into trying to make things right with them. I just dont even wanna go over there anymore because of it. Im lost at weather i should even invite them to the wedding at all. What does everyone think? What advice do you have that you can offer to me?

Posted on December 30, 2012 at 4:36 am
g_g_dgjb
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06/21/2014
g_g_dgjb

g_g_dgjb

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(4) Comments

IdoAgain20years
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02/20/2018
IdoAgain20years

IdoAgain20years

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IdoAgain20years

what is a g1?


Beyond that, I have removed my parents from my life because they were never happy about anything going on in my life either. My father and mother would always put everyone else first. I had enough of it. I have been much happier since.


Honestly only you know what is right for you and I am 38 years old and have tried to make it work for until this past summer. I am renewing my wedding vows to the man whom I married 20 years ago, and that is the same man they tried to convince he should not to marry me.


They even talked to my in-laws and tried telling them they needed to convince Mark not to marry me.


That pain runs VERY DEEP! Unlike my abusive father Mark is the complete opposite and loves me just for me being me. He does not care about the only thing that makes them happy money and social status.


Please think carefully before not inviting them to your wedding. You cannot undo that. You may feel differently later.


Blessings and Best wishes on this hard road ahead!


Bridie

Posted on December 30, 2012 at 8:37 am
GlimmerGirl
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09/21/2014
GlimmerGirl

GlimmerGirl

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GlimmerGirl

My dad has made his comments.  He told me when I moved in with my now FI he would not give me a dime for my wedding.  I did it anyways.  Chances are he would not give me a dime if I had stayed living at home anyways.  He has made comments about my ring being small (which is funny because its bigger than my mom's ring) and put in his two cents every once in a while.  My mom has been very supportive and offered to make or buy my dress.  My dad told her she could do whatever she wanted with "her money."  I am just trying to let it all roll off my back.  His comments sting a bit but in the end, I would rather not dwell on it.  


I too, have had my conflicts with my parents.  I would honestly, just wait it out.  Plan your wedding the way you want it and when it comes time for the invites, then make a decision.  At least, weigh the positives and negatives of inviting them and make sure you are in a rational state of mind when you make your decision.  It not an easy decision to make and you want to make sure you make the right decision.

Posted on December 31, 2012 at 5:41 am
g_g_dgjb
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06/21/2014
g_g_dgjb

g_g_dgjb

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g_g_dgjb

G1 is written drivers licence in ontario.Im done trying to make things work and right with my parents. Im tired of making the plans with them and making amends with them everytime something goes wrong or we get in a fight. Ive removed them all from facebook but i know that they will still try and call me. I am going to wait until the invites go out that was my plan. But if they show no interest in me and nothing has changed buy the time my wedding comes then they wont be invited.All i want is a small wedding with very little people, and something simple. Its really hard to say right now.

Posted on January 1, 2013 at 5:48 am
krosa
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09/16/2012
krosa

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i am 33 soon to be 34 and i have had problems with my dad too.  he was never around when i was a child.  we all lived in the same house, but he worked as a truck driver and was gone when i woke up and would often come home after i was already in bed.  he was too buisy doing house projects or working on cars on the weekends when he was home.  he treated me differently than my brothers, and he treated them differently too.  my oldest brother had a lot of common interests as my dad and he was treated the best.  


i moved 1000 miles from home in my 20s and my relationship with my dad improved.  when i decided to move back home, my dad had all kinds of problems with me living on my own in an apt when i could be saving money living under his roof.  so, i decided to just live at home.  then i was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and couldnt work any more.  my relationship with my dad started going down hill, but what really drove it in the wrong direction was my dad's heart attack and stroke within 6 months of eachother.  dad's personality changed some after the heart attack and bypass surgery.  he was meaner than normal.  but then he had his stroke and it was like a different person.  he completely changed.  


within 7 months of his stroke he said somethings to me that no one should ever say to someone else, let alone a family member.  and he kicked me out of the house.  i went to live with a brother.  i told only a few trusted friends what had happened out of respect for the fact that he was my father.  he went around and told all kinds of people that i was this bad person.  time went by, but our relationship was never the same.  he got till he would talk to me.  for months afterward he wouldnt even speak to me.  but all conversation was very limited.  


in august my brother and i walked into my dads house to check on him and found him dead on the loveseat.  he had been dead for 2 days.  i still cant get that image out of my head.


i forgave my dad for my childhood.  and it took a while, but i also forgave him for everything he did to me after the stroke.  i know that not all of that was him.  it has been proven that strokes do effect your personality.  i know part of that was the stroke.


i say all this to say that yes your dad has said and done things that he shouldnt have.  he is your only father, and one day he will not be here anymore.  i know that after my dads stroke i had to realize that i had to have boundries for myself and know that i am grown and it is ok to spend time with my family and if things start to go in a direction i dont like i can get in my car and leave.  i had a long talk with my mother during this process too.  she understood my point of view and knew dad was out of line.  she stood by my decisions, and i understood her desire to have the family together.  i highly recommend having a good converstion with your mother since she is so supportive.  it may be that she would be willing to eventually have a conversation with your dad letting him know that you have been hurt by some of the things he has done but want him to be able to see you get married, but only if he puts aside any problems he has and decides he is gonna be happy that you are.  you are an adult and you can deal with the effects of your own decisions.

Posted on January 12, 2013 at 12:47 pm

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