Anyone lose a friend in the wedding planning process?

Anyone?? Unfortunately, I recently lost one. My regret is that FI and I sent her a save the date. She's on the parent's guest list. Would it be terrible if I didn't send her an invite? I really, really do not want to email or call her to tell her that she's no longer invited. Ugh...the friend drama never ends!!!

Posted on September 11, 2008 at 3:27 am
mt51
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(26) Comments

neebelung
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09/27/2008
neebelung

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Hmmm... I suppose there have been some odd shifts in our social circle over the last 15 months, but nothing dramatic.


Our biggest concern is a good friend has taken up with a golddigging whore, whom we all hate (I don't even believe in hating people, but trust me, she's deserving of it).  She's a drama queen, attention whoring, horrific little person.... So we're having to tip toe around events like showers and parties, because while we want him there, she'll be there over my dead body.  It's just sticky.


 


I wouldn't worry about your former friend... I mean, she's aware that you're no longer friends, right?  So even if she gets an invite, odds are she would feel awkward coming anyway.  I wouldn't sweat about it.

Posted on September 11, 2008 at 3:39 am
WMforever
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06/14/2009
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If she doesnt keep in touch with anyone who knows about the wedding, then i wouldnt send her an official invite. she's probably not expecting one anyway.

Posted on September 11, 2008 at 3:44 am
peanuthead24
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10/18/2008
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i was one of those people who received a STD but then never got an invite lol.. we didnt have a falling out though, but we really just werent all that close anymore.. i didnt talk to her very often, nor see her.. but i still considered her a friend... so i was excited when i got a STD..but when i never got an invitation from her i guess i was not surprised, because I really hadnt talked to her in months... but if we had a real legit falling out and disliked eachother or something, then i would never expect to get an invite..if that helps at all

Posted on September 11, 2008 at 3:59 am
d1rtymart1n1
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12/04/2009
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i've gotten a save-the-date (felt wierd to type "i've gotten an std" )  ahem, i've gotten one and then not the invite - but i did get a call that space was getting tight b/c of parents adding to the list - so they had to minimize friends versus fam...i was bummed, but understood, but it wasnt b/c we had a falling out...


um, i dropped off the trash a few months ago (you gals remember the bm i had who just was just beyond AW??) - and havent looked back =)   so yes, i've lost a friend in the wedd planning process... it wierd right??  you think they are your friends for life and then something in the wedding planning changes people around you - and i'm sure changes us a little too...


i hope you are happier now =)

Posted on September 11, 2008 at 4:06 am
MissQnomore
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03/14/2009
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yes i have.  but it was heading there anyway.  her jealous, insecure a$$ told lies about FI to other people, and then she proceeded to deny everything to me and make me feel like the b!tch for not trusting her.  she still calls me and emails me though like she thinks i believe her...which i made clear that i didn't.  she's still expecting invitations to everything though....bridal shower, bachelorette, wedding...  I have no idea why she doesn't get it's OVER. unfortunatley i may have to   s-p-e-l-l   i-t   o-u-t   for her.  ugh not looking forward to that.


m--i'm so glad you were able to get her out of your life.  gives me confidence to do that in mine.  she was definitely an AW!!

Posted on September 11, 2008 at 4:16 am
WMforever
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WMforever

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yah. good job m. i had a very bad feeling about that girl.

Posted on September 11, 2008 at 4:18 am
Marinag
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10/25/2008
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My Maid of honor has a friend from High School. She broughtt that girl into our circle of friends back when we were young and clubing


. I'm cool with her but not dead tight.  That girls Niece ended up getting married to my Nephew and now have a baby. So our family is now linked. But she's kind of all about money and appearance. I'm so not loving that.  But my Best friend (Maid of honor) and her got into a big stink. They are not talking anymore. They were the tight ones but now I'm family with the girl.  So now the girl is like.. Well, I don't know.  And my BF feels like crap about it. I told my Best friend.... "Yeah, she's blood crossed with me now. But I still don't give a #@$ about her if she's going to throw a hissy fit over you being the maid of honor! Screw that!"  I threw a little something in there to make matters better. 


My Friends the firemen that I've known for ever all said they can't wait to go to the wedding to see the cat fight..


What I did was.. I invited an old friend of mine which I've known longer than that girl. Back in the day when my Best friend brought her into our circle, I had a friend which was not too tight but cool.  Long story short, The blood crossed girl's then Boyfriend now Husband ended up cheating on the Blood crossed girl with that other girl!!!! Not knowing she was my friend. I found out when I talked about that guy and my friend said.. That's not his name, I was with him and he told me it was (insert random name here)  So all hell broke lose!! Anyway. I invited that girl to the wedding and all 3 of the for-mentioned females are going to be there!!! LOL I can't wait!!!!!


The firemen guys can't wait either!!!  The girls are "Girly-girls" so they have to be kind of propper and composed. The blood line girl is all about appearance so she's going to try to be all fake and cute.  Woooo haaaaaa..   Yes, I do have the spirit of a 16 year old sometimes.  LOL  


Have I lost any friends over the wedding planning? LOL Not yet!!!!!!


 


 

Posted on September 11, 2008 at 4:40 am
d1rtymart1n1
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that's gonna be on maury!!


"see - what had happened wuz..."

Posted on September 11, 2008 at 4:49 am
Marinag
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Marinag

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"Yeah, but Maury!! I was like! and she was like! Ohh, hell no! Just bring them out right now! I'm the Bride and I can't believe they ruined the most important day of my life!!!!" (Inside chuckle to self)


*Maury* "But first, let's see the video of what happened that night at the reception"  (Crowd cheers in anticipation)  LOL

Posted on September 11, 2008 at 4:53 am
GoingtobeGoff
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Yeah, I lost my best friend, and my FI lost his best friend.. they were our friends seperately, until they met each other.. then they started dating, and got engaged while we were planning the first wedding date.. i got pissed at them (lots of reasons), and now they "don't trust us" and won't talk to us, even though we've apologized, etc.. yeah, it's dumb.

Posted on September 11, 2008 at 4:56 am
caliborngurl
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The last BM that I added has got me thinking lately.  She's done nothing wrong and we haven't had a falling out, but we've almost completely lost touch.  I talk to all my other BMs all the time, but for some reason this one is very distant now.  Supposedly it's because shes really busy with trying to get her Masters degree and some other stuff, which I would completely understand but then I see and hear of her going out with some of her other friends.  When we do talk, it's really awkward and she doesn't say much.  Maybe she doesn't want to or can't be in the wedding and is avoiding telling me?  If that's the case, I would not get mad at all, I just wish she'd let me know.  In a way I would feel better because now I don't feel that bond with her that I want to have with all my bridesmaids, but I'm too nervous to tell her I don't want her in the wedding anymore.  How do you even tell someone that without hurting any feelings?  Ahhhhh!

Posted on September 11, 2008 at 4:57 am
jharks
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10/11/2008
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yep, my former best friend was planning her wedding as well and we are no longer speaking. She isn't the person I thought she was. We had sent STD's to eachother and then no invites. Not a problem.

Posted on September 11, 2008 at 5:22 am
old_chicstylegirl
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YES!!! One of my good good friends who is a bridesmaid -- totally screwed me over and I had topay her cost for the bachlorette party and she refused to come & didnt come to my shower or birthday. (even though she was in town) I dont see our friendship really continuing on much more...


AND my cousin, just found out she is not coming to the wedding. She is local, has a decent job, in good health and has no reason not to come. I grew up with her, we were close, but then when I got engaged she stopped calling. I'm stunned she is not coming.

Posted on September 11, 2008 at 5:27 am
Marinag
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LOL I see what D1rty meant about the whole abbreviation of "Save The Date" LOL I can't help but see that now. Sorry.. hahahha We sent STD's to each other with no invites. LOL sorry. O.k enough of that. 

Posted on September 11, 2008 at 5:29 am
HolyMolyMatrimony
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We haven't actually 'lost' any friends- BUT I look at many of them differently during/after the wedding!  I feel weddings can sometimes bring out the worst in people.  People just don't get it. But, now that the weddings over I have let go a little more and trying to just put it past me- and I just see through different eyes now....


- HMM :)

Posted on September 11, 2008 at 5:35 am
Marinag
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Do you all think Men care as much as we do?  I just got thinking after the last post. Maybe it's because we have expectations and child hood fantasies of what the day should be and how people should crowd to us and things of that nature.  Does that make any sense?  I think we might expect things and when they are not what we think they should be.. we feel disappointed or let down??


But men would be like.. Cool, what ever??????

Posted on September 11, 2008 at 5:38 am
soon2Bmrsjaramillo
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I almost did.  A good friend of mine got married this last June at the same venue (there really is only one venue in our hometown).  When I chose my date, it happened to be the same weekend as hers but one year later.  I figured it would be to my advantage so I could scope out the weather, and what works and does not work at the venue.  I started coming up with all these ideas for my own wedding and she kept 'borrowing' them, so I finally stopped talking about my ideas to everyone except FI.  Then, on the night of her bachelorette party (which was basically put on by me) she started going off and crying b/c her FI had come up with all these crazy ideas but she was the one that had to execute them, and she doesn't have the 'hookups' like I do, and she felt like noone was helping her (even though I sincerely offered my help from day 1).  Well her wedding was lovely, but it was a completely unorganized mess and less than 1/2 of her guestlist showed.  The next day for cleanup, she and I and like 3 other people were the only ones that did anything, it sucked.


Then a few weeks ago, we were all out at a really busy bar, and I overheard someone ask her, "Do you think Heather will cry as much as you did before her wedding?" and then I HEARD her say, "I hope she cries even more."   WTF!!! It kinda hurt my feelings, but I took the high road and didn't say anything.  Whatever.  I think she's just jealous.

Posted on September 11, 2008 at 5:38 am
mt51
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I forgot to mention that my parents also invited her family. They have been family friends for awhile now but we lost touch years ago. Now, she and I have had a huge falling out. I really don't want to invite her but I'm still iffy on the rest of her family.


For those who lost a friend, how did you manage to move on? I've been struggling with this for almost a year now. I really want to just forget and move on, but how?

Posted on September 11, 2008 at 5:47 am
mt51
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mt51

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Soon2be, that is awful! How can a friend say something like that for your wedding day?? Doesn't sound like a friend at all.

Posted on September 11, 2008 at 5:48 am
pinkyjane48
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08/24/2008
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I think its safe to say I have- 2 actually. We didn't have an outright brawl, but true colors emerged and Ive moved one down to the "aquaintance" status and the other can just do whatever she wants. I wont be calling or counting on them for anything anymore.


:( sad too, cuz I really dont have many chick friends, I thought I was comin up...


Good weeding tho!

Posted on September 11, 2008 at 1:20 pm
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