Asking for Money

Hey ladies,


I have another question. My FI is adamant about asking for money instead of gifts. I think it's rude to do so. Also, I spent a lot of time putting together our gift registries. What are your ladies opinions? Is there a way to set up a registry and just ask for money? Every opinion counts!


TIA!

Posted on April 12, 2012 at 4:09 pm
Asheri86
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10/27/2012
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(19) Comments

missjess485
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02/19/2012
missjess485

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We did a registry, but I put a little birdie in my very close relatives ears that we'd love gift cards or cash to put towards the reno we are doing on our home post wedding. It worked well, because I literally just told my parents and my aunt. These were the people others would always ask, "what do they want for the wedding."

Posted on April 12, 2012 at 4:17 pm
jackieg
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jackieg

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No! You cannot ask for money.
Posted on April 12, 2012 at 4:38 pm
Jen3641
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Just have close family get the word out.

Posted on April 12, 2012 at 5:37 pm
TomboyBride
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IMHO its probably rude to just ask for money but you could definitely let your close family and friends know what you'd prefer to get...there's always ways to make a big hint without making it too obvious.


Some couples register for a honeymoon fund with their local bank, or one of the online websites. That is always an option but you could say "We're saving up for a new bedroom suite" or "we're saving for a future trip to Europe".  There's lots of ways to hint to family that you'd rather have cash than gifts.


No matter what you do, some guests are going to want to buy you a physical/tangible gift anyway. So you might as well let them buy something pretty off your registry so you don't get items that don't fit your style or items you already have in your home.


Just my two cents. :)


 

Posted on April 12, 2012 at 5:53 pm
monche
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05/26/2012
monche

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Etiquette says you should not ask for money or even put registry but now a days things seem to be different...Asking for money can be a touchy subject but I think it depends where you are coming from; how your family and friends are. For some people it could be very rude to do so and might get ofended but then again its very hard to please everybody.


That being said I am a bride who asked for cash. My family and close friends encouraged me to do so and my fiances family was ok with it as well so we felt comfortable doing it, we come from a very traditional family so we weren't sure how they were going to take it but we are glad it worked out...I am not sure if it may have offended other guests but I have not received any negative comments about it, one guest actually told me she was relieved to give cash since she always has a hard time choosing.


So, instead of a registry we included a little card that read "Dear friends and family, if you were thinking of giving a gift to help us on our way, a gift of cash would really make our day"


Conclusion: do what works out best for you!

Posted on April 12, 2012 at 6:50 pm
janandgerald
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Whatever works for you and FI. Things have changed a lot. I guess if someone told me they wanted money instead of a gift I assume I would have to respect their wishes.
Posted on April 12, 2012 at 9:53 pm
lorna247
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Like everyone else said, get the word out via family. DH and I already had our house etc and really didn’t need ANYTHING at all. We had 3 people ask us what we wanted and if we were registered and we simply said that there really was not anything we could think of. We received one gift, 1 gift card and the rest was money. I think that most guests give cash now a days anyway. No dragging gifts back and forth to receptions lol


 Maybe the old school aunts etc might prefer a gift but anyone who has gotten married recently knows how much the money is appreciated and needed after a wedding. Since you have a registry set up you have offered the option so I think that you are set.

Posted on April 12, 2012 at 10:56 pm
GerriStephen
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07/21/2012
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I like what missjess485 did, but the birdie in ppl's ear and keep the registry just in case ppl just don't want to give money. For some reason to me, putting that in writing just seems like your begging, at least from my stand point. I would not include that, although I have seen it on invitations, I would not do it personally. If ppl want to give cash, believe me they will give cash. I went to a wedding last year, there was no request for gifts or even registry noted on the invitations or website, but ppl knew to give something, I purchased a card and my FI and I placed some cash in the envelope.

Posted on April 13, 2012 at 1:08 am
littlebit07
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07/14/2012
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We put together a small registry at Target just for my bridal shower. My Mom put on the invitations "The happy couple is registered at Target for shower gifts". For the wedding, I put a little paragraph on our website under the registry tab that the "true gifts for us are having our friends and family to celebrate with, but if you are thinking of bringing an additional gift, monetary gifts would be most welcome as we save for home improvements and larger items". And of course, our closest friends and family are circulating that same sentiment by word of mouth. I don't think it will offend anyone, I think people will appreciate knowing what gift we would get the best use from:)

Posted on April 13, 2012 at 1:42 am
MrsCaleYoung
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Family and friends are getting the word out that we would appreciate monetary gifts in lieu of traditional gifts.  I moved in with my FI last year and when I say we don't need anything - WE DON'T NEED ANYTHING!!!!!! I was intimidated moving in because I was trying to figure out how to incorporate my style and my things in the house he already owns.  We just need the money for our honeymoon!

Posted on April 13, 2012 at 2:19 am
mrsharris2012
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mrsharris2012

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I say do what you want! Put the bridie out in flight that you would rather have gift cards or monetary gifts if the guests choose to even give a gift. Were having a destination wedding and we already have a house. So in my STDs I wrote to out of town guests that while it was not necessary if they wish to give us gifts, then a gift card would be more appropriate due to we are traveling. My parents have also spread the word to other family for us. But as long as you do it tastefully I say do what you want!

Posted on April 13, 2012 at 4:06 am
jbifly18
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08/25/2012
jbifly18

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Try setting up a MyRegistry.com account.  You can add the items that you need and also ask for monetary amounts.  My FI created one for our wedding.  It's mostly filled with items to help him brew beer, but he did also ask for donations to help take me on a nice trip! :-)

Posted on April 13, 2012 at 9:18 am
Katiae45
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Katiae45

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There certainly is and there is nothing wrong with it: www.depositagift.com


You can also find a way for it on www.honeyfund.com


I mean, people are going to spend the money anyway! It's becoming more and more popular nowadays for couples to want the checks instead of 'stuff'. A lot of of couples already live together and have all the kitchen necessities.

Posted on April 13, 2012 at 9:24 am
Asheri86
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Thank you ladies,


I think this is my most successful post yet (in terms of the number of people who responded). I really love your advice Littlebit. Could I possibly steal your little paragraph and put it on my website? I'm thinking of adding a cash registry, like some of you have suggested, but registries are so much work. I think I will also get the word out to our families. In my fiance's culture they tend to give cash anyways, usually in the form of gold coins. Again, thank you for the advice. Keep on posting if you like. I will check this post again.

Posted on April 13, 2012 at 12:46 pm
aparker1269
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aparker1269

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A friend of mine just took everything back and got the cash. 

Posted on April 13, 2012 at 1:19 pm
scgirl
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We asked for donations for our "honeymoon fund" on our invitations. We didn't even register for anything.


Everyone was fine with it, and it worked out great for us! 


 


I would maybe caution against using a registry website for money, or at least do a lot of research because they will want a cut of the money when you go to get it out. I remember one wanted like 15%! This was a few years ago now though so things may have changed! 

Posted on April 13, 2012 at 1:59 pm
jbjammers
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i second the reco for depositagift.com  they're the best by far, but especially for your concern about it being a lot of work to set up....they have a pre-made registry tool called 'rapid registry' so they are done for you by theme as an option if you want them. they also have pre-made notes that you can use for the etiquette part.


 


i'd actually recommend against registering with the intent of returning everything because your guests will waste so much money on shipping costs that you never get back with returns. and you'll waste a ton of your time doing the returns. the customer service with depositagift.com is so good. i think you'd really like it.

Posted on April 14, 2012 at 4:19 pm
lorna247
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Just a suggestion - If you plan on setting up a cash registry do your research....there are alot that cost either you or the person giving money. Some charge a service fee to those giving (ie a percentage) or the person (you) doing the transaction. I saw one that was 7% of every transaction made if the registry received under $15,000 total..... they are a business after all. I think some run on advertising but not sure which ones. I remember going on one for a friend and the fee was ridiculous and when i mentioned it to her she didn’t know about it...so read the fine print.....


I ended up giving her cash in her card.

Posted on April 15, 2012 at 5:29 am
msllm
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msllm

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My sister used http://www.weddingrepublic.com for her cash registry. She swears by the process 

Posted on February 7, 2013 at 7:27 am

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