Bridal Party issue

So a small but important issue. 


My Best Friend/MOH and I have known each other all our lives.  Her family is very close to me and I wish to include her, much, younger sisters in the procession.  One will easily be a flower girl.  The other is an issue.


She is 11 and mature.  Obviously not flower girl material.  I want to make her a JBM but my MOH was not so thrilled with the idea.  My MOH loves her sisters dearly but she is not a kid person and doesn't think they should ever be a JBM. 


I don't want to step on her toes; but at the same time, where do I place the 11yo?

Posted on January 8, 2013 at 5:00 pm
sdlillian
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06/08/2013
sdlillian

sdlillian

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(6) Comments

aggiebride
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02/04/2012
aggiebride

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aggiebride

You are being so thoughtful! This may be a time to gently remind your BFF that it is what you want, and there may be some things she will have to deal with. Of course, don't make her incredibly uncomfortable, but explain your feelings and let her know it is what you want. Hopefully it works out for you!
Posted on January 8, 2013 at 5:59 pm
IdoAgain20years
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IdoAgain20years

IdoAgain20years

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IdoAgain20years

I agree. It is about what you want; however, The JBM should be aware that she will NOT be included in all events.


You may want to even have a day with just your JBM, so she feels EXTRA special. Also, give her tasks she can do, like making favors up or helping with stamps and the like.


The bachelorette party should be divided into 2 segments. One she can participate in and one where it is just the adults. Why? Well, even if you are just having a slumber party it is about your last night as a single adult and you should be able to talk without young ears. I know we discussed all of our fears and hopes along with a few memories that were not for little ears.


We had to do this with one of the weddings I was involved with.

Posted on January 8, 2013 at 11:50 pm
sdlillian
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sdlillian

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I love the idea of having a special day with her, Emily, thank you for that.  She does live somewhere around 80 miles away so a seperate BP could be doable but not with all the bridesmaids in tow.  One of them lives 60 miles away, in the opposite direction.


Thank you both for reassuring me that JBM is the right way to go with her.  My MOH thought it would be ok to make her the keeper of the rings but that needs to go to a young boy, not tween girl.


Do you have any suggestions on how to handle other duties for her?  Bridal showers can get a bit racy, although knowing her mother, who will also be there, she will think it's funny. 


Another thought is her little sister, Sara the flower girl (small for her age).  She is 8 and I would hate to leave her out of something.  Do I have a special day with her as well to make up for the fact she was left at home while her mom and older sister went to a bridal shower?  Which, wouldn't bother me one bit and I think I will, because I like her.


However, if I do not allow Emily to join the Bridal Shower, which I sure would be alright with all those involved, and giving her single mother a chance to be free entirly for an afternoon. What duties does she have for the day of?  Errand girl or helper of the decor?


Am I over thinking all of this?


 

Posted on January 9, 2013 at 6:34 am
aggiebride
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aggiebride

aggiebride

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For the day of, I honestly realized I needed to focus on getting ready, and my girls needed some time to do that too. While there were specific steps the involved the bridal party, it was just all of us... Getting ready. I had a friend who wasn't in the bridal party who was there specifically to help me- but that needs to be an adult, because most of the help I needed was a buffer between me and other people when I was being high strung.

I wouldn't worry too much. As for a day with her, maybe do an activity that her sister can do. I really enjoyed taking my nieces, who are both about 7, to get their nails done as some bonding time. Many salons have chairs for younger girls to get this done, so all three of you would have fun.

I honestly don't know about the bridal shower... Mine was done by my sister in law, and had all the grandmothers and female family members involved... It was pretty tame. Decide on what you will be doing, and make sure you decide which events she should and shouldn't be at. If anyone specifically is a concern for appropriateness, let them know ahead of time that there will be young ears at that particular event, but there will be some adult only events.

Above all, remember to have fun and don't over stress about it!
Posted on January 9, 2013 at 3:30 pm
MrsCaleYoung
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06/30/2012
MrsCaleYoung

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Hello!!!


I incorporated all six of my sister's daughters in my wedding. It was a big deal to me. My three younger nieces were supposed to be flower girls, but the youngest was behaving horrid so I had the other two come down the aisle. I have an 11 year old niece and she wanted to be part of the wedding in anyway she could. She was going to hold my dress up at first, but then I saw a show that inspired me. I had my 11 year old niece come down the aisle before I did ringing a bell and chanting "The Bride is Coming!" I choreographed her little routine skipping down the aisle four times and then announcing first to the right and then to the left "The Bride is Coming!" She was estatic and everyone is still talking about that addition to my wedding to this day! As for the bridal shower, I never wanted a bachelorette party so my older nieces attended that and had a wonderful time! They gave out the programs at my wedding. 


Hello I incorporated all photo 3441021-1

Posted on January 10, 2013 at 3:25 am
IdoAgain20years
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IdoAgain20years

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All bridal showers i have been to were very tame! The lingerie party and bachelorette were another story. No young child should go to lingerie party and adults need to be adults for bachelorette

The day of my daughter and son were 4 and 5 and were amazing day of they just colored after they were dressed. We had to be dressed before the bride by 10am and we helped bride get ready for noon.

My sil gave sarah a book about being a flower girl and in it were things she would need. Handkerchief, fake flowers etc these were just practice ones

It was really a kleenex and a few fake flower petals so she could practice. It was adorable.

As for tasks for jbm would be to help keep bride hydrated with water fed by bringing her and the bridal party snacks

Hope this helps
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 4:22 am

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