Bridal Shower question...

We are having a small wedding with only about 75-80 people invited. There are quite a few people I really care about & like a lot who will not be invited. It just got too expensive and overwhelming.

My question is, should these people be invited to the shower? Or is that not proper? I don't want to seem like "Oh you can't come to the wedding, but come to the shower & bring me presents!" Because that isn't how I feel at all. I do want them to be included and I just want to see them. I also wouldn't want them to feel like they weren't a part in anything regarding the wedding. Ack. Maybe I'm over thinking things.

My sister (MOH) asked me for the list of people to invite to the Bridal Shower. I got stuck when I started thinking about good friends who aren't even on the wedding invite list. What should I do?
Posted on March 12, 2008 at 7:54 am
MrsTongToBe
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06/28/2008
MrsTongToBe

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(4) Comments

GondaluvsGondo
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08/16/2008
GondaluvsGondo

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girl, i'm on the same boat! i have friends on my "if my family doesn't RSVP, i'm definitly going to invite them" List. ( I have a HUGE family). My friends are throwing me a shower for just our friends (since it would be to huge to combine it with family and friends) so i'm not sure if to invite them to the shower since I don't for for sure if I will be able to invite them to the wedding.

I was thinking about just takeing the frank and honest approach and saying "look, i have a huge family and I'm pretty sure some aren't coming, but I have to invite them first and wait for their reply. I'd love for you to share in the special moment and would love if you can come to the shower. Don't worry about bringing a gift, your attendance is enough."

But I totally feel you, its easier said than done.
Posted on March 12, 2008 at 8:11 am
beatie
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10/11/2008
beatie

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beatie

I think technically you're only supposed to invite to the shower those that will also get an invitation to the wedding - because otherwise it can look a bit like a request for a gift. At least that's what I've always heard/thought. But you know your friends the best. If you can be honest with them and let them know the rationale behind what you're doing and you think they would understand, then go ahead and invite them. But if you think feelings might get hurt, then I would maybe not. These wedding things are always so sticky, aren't they?? It's a wonder more people don't elope!
Posted on March 12, 2008 at 8:17 am
MrsTongToBe
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06/28/2008
MrsTongToBe

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hahaha seriously!! It's so frustrating sometimes. I guess for now I'll just keep it to the people that are on the invite list. I'm not even sure when I'll be having the shower... probably late May (late June wedding) so maybe by then things will have been tweaked a bit.

Why is everything so nit-picky and tedious?!
Posted on March 12, 2008 at 8:33 am
jersey
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04/25/2008
jersey

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I would B list the people who you wont beable to invite because right now I am in the middle of sending some B listers invites out. The only people who should be invited to the shower are people who are invited to the wedding if you do it any other way people tend to think they did something wrong at the shower and that is why they never got the invite for the wedding.Also when people get invited to a shower they just xspect a wedding invite. My man of honor invited all woman who where on my wedding list to the shower.
Posted on March 12, 2008 at 9:48 am

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