Bride envy vent

My friend and bridesmaid who is also getting married next year, has way more money to work with. She doesn't have to DIY anything and could probably pick out any dress she wants and go anywhere she wants on her honeymoon. What i'm feeling is like i'm just not good enough, mine wont be good enough. I'm wrestling with this feeling today.


I am trying to get a grip and am thinking "Monica, you are not her and the reason for getting married is not to have a wedding to impress others." Anyone else feel like that sometimes or am i just being a whiny person all on my own? lol


My wedding ideas are different, but i don't want them to be laughable. Someone slap some sense into me.

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 7:18 am
Keturah78
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Keturah78

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(30) Comments

*MrsMiller*
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11/28/2009
*MrsMiller*

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work with what you got girl and make sure you love it!! that is all that matters. you are right though, you dont ahve to impress anyone. as long as you love it. and trust me, you can probably make yours look even better than hers even without a lot of money. it doesnt take a big budget to pull off a beautiful wedding!

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 7:23 am
Keturah78
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Keturah78

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Thank you, i need to get myself together.

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 7:27 am
mahoganieyes
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mahoganieyes

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BTW just because the person has a bigger budget does not mean the wedding will have the "look" factor. I have been to a wedding at the hilton, and the location was nice, I knew the bride and groom came from  wealthy families, but even now nothing stands out in my memory about the wedding. It was ok! Sometime those little details or diy have an lasting effect on the guest. So just do you, and not worry about her!

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 7:29 am
Shesh
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04/24/2010
Shesh

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My friend- a best friend- got married in June to the tune of $100K+ with 330 people.  She had the "platinum-esque" wedding.  One anyone can dream to have.  And she would have rathered planned hers more like mine.  I have less than 1/5 of her budget, less than 1/3 of the people and she was jealous of how mine is planned because it is more how she wanted it.


So you never know what the other person is thinking.....maybe she wants to DIY and maybe she wants a smaller, less stuffy event!! :)

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 7:33 am
MissCupcake
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01/09/2012
MissCupcake

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Girl, don't even stress!  I know how you feel though.  Since I'm getting married young, I know my wedding will be okay, but when I think of the kind of weddings my friends will have when they get married later in life, I get really jealous.


But, it's okay! Our weddings are for us, and nobody else.  And like mahoganieyes said, just because they have the money, doesn't mean it'll look amazing.  I mean, it could, but there is always a chance it'll look hella tacky and way over done.


Let us know if you need help with anything!!

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 7:34 am
mcdanieltobigelow
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02/29/2012
mcdanieltobigelow

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I have personally never felt this way because I knew I was going to do DIY stuff.  Not because I have to but because I want to.  I have some really out there ideas too but I could care less what others thought of them.  Yes, some people may judge weddings based on how much decorations were there and the how much the food cost, etc.  But that isn't the purpose of a wedding.  I don't think you are being whiny at all.  I had dress envy when I first started looking but now that I have mine, I don't care what others have to say about it because it's all about the love and being with your FI.  So don't let it get to you.  Be proud of what you have and how you two are displaying yourselves and your love.  Hope this helps!  Good luck!!

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 7:35 am
Keturah78
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Keturah78

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My fiance' just said i was crazy and we are not changing the theme lol. I'm glad he believes in me even though i don't today.

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 7:36 am
ChocolateDelight
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Ditto to MrsMillertobe's comments.   Each one of us is unique.  Therefore, you can use the limited funds and unboundless creativity that you have to stage an exquisite event.  Yes, I said "stage."   Like it or not, weddings are productions that need to be designed, planned, choreographed and executed.   So, do you and do your thang with your passion to reflect your uniqueness.   And of course, I am sure you know that the PW posse is also here as a resource and sound-board.   All you need to do is "Holla."  

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 7:37 am
Keturah78
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Keturah78

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Keturah78

I really appreciate ya'll, i'm just gonna go for it.

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 7:38 am
Kaytana17
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Kaytana17

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I'm sorry you feel that way. You can't compare yourself or your wedding to others...b/c I think you'd really drive yourself nuts! At the end of the day you're doing what you want to do and she's doing what she wants to do. When it comes time for your big day everyone will be SO impressed with your DIY projects - and not just that but you'll have some unforgettable memories and self SATISFACTION from doing all those projects!

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 7:40 am
Keturah78
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Keturah78

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Keturah78

BTW not knocking DIY or anything, it's fun and i have seen some amazing projects on this site! Just clearing that up.

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 7:49 am
MIZROZIE
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10/02/2010
MIZROZIE

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Have fun... I was just siting here scrolling thru bios & sites for ideas and I was thinking the the samething until I realized "we" wouldn't fit into some of these weddings.... So keep planning ur dream & it will come true

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 8:03 am
chloeylee2006
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08/22/2009
chloeylee2006

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Keturah - I know how you feel, you are NOT crazy!   I also worked with a limited budget, but you will find ways to make it work!  :)   PW has been a blessing for me and has helped me find ideas to make things more affordable (such as uplighting!!).


Now that I'm thinking about the previous weddings I've gone to, I really particulary remember the ones that I had super fun at (whehther or not they were platinum weddings).   So work on having some great booty shakin music!!!  :)

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 8:09 am
pinksanity
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09/27/2010
pinksanity

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youre not alone! i go through self doubt sometimes. wondering if i'll really be able to pull things off the way i want to (i'm DIYing alot). i soo- wish i could go without a budget... but reality is, im just not one of those brides. *Shrugs* then i remind myself... your fabulous, with fabulous taste that on an every day basis receives compliments of onlookers... why would your budgeted wedding be any different? know & appreciate YOUR style, embrace YOUR creativity/individualism and realize your big day will be TOTALLY YOU & that alone is perfect!

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 8:10 am
Keturah78
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Keturah78

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Keturah78

I feel so much better now!

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 8:11 am
hurleygrl135
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hurleygrl135

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Girl,  I feel you my cousin got engaged on the same day as me and his FI's father is a millionaire so she basically has a blank check her wedding is 2 months before mine and was literally planned in 2 weeks because she had the money to do it. Our wedding is after theirs, much smaller, and we're sweating having to pay for it since our parents can't afford to help us but in the end I know we're going to have a beautiful wedding and the atmoshpere is going to be much different than theirs plus it'll mean that much more to us because our sweat and tears(many tears already) will have been poured into it. I decided that instead of throwing a HUGE party like theirs we're going to be much more intimate and lowkey like our personalities. Just because one thing works for one person doesn't mean it will work for another. They are loud, show-offish people who love to be the center of attention(I mean that totally lovingly I love them to death) whereas my FI and I are much more lowkey laidback people. In the end you're going to have the wedding of your dreams not anyone else's.

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 8:18 am
miss_em2010
10
02/20/2010
miss_em2010

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miss_em2010

Your wedding will be absolutely lovely because it will be YOURS!!!


No matter what the situation (wedding related or otherwise) is, there will ALWAYS be someone with more money, who is prettier, who is smarter, who has a bigger house, nicer car etc. etc. and it doesn't matter!  Be happy with what you have and appreciate the deck of cards you were dealt :).

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 8:38 am
genae
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05/16/2009
genae

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genae

I have looked at many brides wedding and had second thoughts the whole time I was planning but in the end realize mine will be beautiful with my ideas & budget.. As Tim Gun says "Make it work".. You can do it, I was a 5k budget bride so if I can do it so can you!

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 8:44 am
Sankofa24
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01/01/0001
Sankofa24

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at the end of the day its about you and him.


No one will remember the type of dishes you had or that you had embossed invites.


What they will remmber is what a good time they had and how you guys shows them a good time..

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 8:50 am
Keturah78
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01/09/2010
Keturah78

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True lol

Posted on October 4, 2009 at 10:02 am
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