Bridesmaid Gowns - Who Pays?

I'm sort of stuck in a bind. I kind of feel embarrassed asking each girl to pay for their gown. A lot of them are first time bridesmaids. I was also thinking of paying for each gown and including a little something (maybe jewelry) as a thank you gift. Does that work too? Btw, I have 5 bridesmaids and 1 MOH.

Does anyone know of any online articles that clearly state the MOH and BM duties?

TIA!
Posted on June 5, 2008 at 7:04 am
mt51
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(16) Comments

kristeen
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11/22/2008
kristeen

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If you can afford it, that's definitely a nice gift. I was planning on contributing to the cost until I found Netbride. I didn't think $175 was too much to ask them to spend.

http://www.theknot.com/ch_article.html?Object=AI980914211009&_ref=search

http://www.theknot.com/ch_article.html?Object=AI980914210920&keywordID=176&keywordType=2&parentID=209
Posted on June 5, 2008 at 7:06 am
neebelung
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09/27/2008
neebelung

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neebelung

Ask and you shall receive:

http://www.bridesmaid101.com/bridesmaid_duties.html

http://www.bridesmaid101.com/maid_of_honor_duties.html

http://www.maidofhonor.org/

In my experience, the bridesmaids all pay for their own dresses, but I think it's a lovely gesture if you want to pay for it for them.
Posted on June 5, 2008 at 7:06 am
ceejaydee7
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i have 7 bm and 1 MOH.. they all paid for their dresses. i didnt hafta tell them.. its like they automatically knew.. and none of them had been bridesmaids before!

oh.. and you paying for their dresses.. is really nice :)

if my budget allowed.. i would have paid for their dresses
Posted on June 5, 2008 at 7:07 am
beatie
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10/11/2008
beatie

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My BM's are buying their own dresses. Also, I've been in many weddings and for every one, I have purchased my own dress. If you can afford to do so, buying it for them is a nice gesture but it's definitely not a requirement. They are also, as did I as a BM, buying their own shoes. I'm getting them a thank you gift - a bunch of things, one of which is earrings to wear the day of the wedding. HTH!
Posted on June 5, 2008 at 7:09 am
Eugugoly82
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10/10/2008
Eugugoly82

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Personally, I think the bridesmaids are usually expecting to cover that cost, but if you are willing to buy it for them, then you can always do that as their "Thank You" gift. Here is a website I found for wedding etiquette http://www.bridalguide.com/etiquette-tradition/roles-responsibilities/index.cfm?articles&gclid=CN6ch7Dz3ZMCFRpknAodSnHFZw

HTH!
Posted on June 5, 2008 at 7:09 am
iklein
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07/26/2008
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i paid their dresses. i have 4 girls total. i didnt want them to pay, i asked them to be a bridesmaid not the other way around.. not fair. plus they are paying for bachlorette party bridal shower, etc.. most of them are still in school or recent grads..
Posted on June 5, 2008 at 7:11 am
KK6
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11/01/2008
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When I asked my MOH and Bridesmaid I advise them what to expect and if they could pay for their own dresses so they already knew. If you can pay for it that is great but don't let that be a burden for you.

If you would like them to pay - I suggest you ask them, I know it's very uncomfortable since they didn't know. If they pay for their own dresses your gift to them should be nice.
Posted on June 5, 2008 at 7:14 am
sweetjane
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10/04/2007
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I paid for my two bridesmaids' dress, and also paid for the Groommen's tux rental, because neither of them looked going to pay, so I have to... :(
Posted on June 5, 2008 at 7:25 am
Ms.Sumomo
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06/24/2007
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It really depend on you and your FI. For us, we paid for our wedding party outfits including shoes. It?s a customary in my family. Also, it so happened DH doesn?t feel it?s right to ask them to pay for the outfits when it?s our wedding.

HTH
Posted on June 5, 2008 at 7:38 am
pinaychic
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04/21/2008
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i paid for my BM dresses since our wedding was destination wedding and they had to buy airline tickets and pay for hotel room
Posted on June 5, 2008 at 8:27 am
kells76
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10/04/2008
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If I only had 3 or 4 girls I would love to, but I have 7BM?s and a Jr BM. In all the weddings I have been in (6 I think), I have always bought my own.
Posted on June 5, 2008 at 8:31 am
lilinlove
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07/19/2008
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If you're having a hard time asking them to pay for their dresses, get each of them a "Bride's Maid Guidebook" which will always state that it is tradition for the BM to pay for their dresses. As first time BMs, the other details in the book will hopefully help them so they know what to plan for. I wrapped mine up with pretty ribbon, but didn't try to hide that it was a book =)

I recieved this one when I was first time BM, and I really liked the lists in here. Now that I'm a bride, I wrote a little note inside and passed it down to one of my BMs who I know does really well with lists, and has been a BM before. http://www.amazon.com/Bridesmaids-Guerrilla-Handbook-Sarah-Stein/dp/0425156761

I bought this second one for my other BM who is a first time BM. This one is more fun and laid back. I'm not asking much from my BMs, but I remember feeling clueless on what to do or what what I could ask to help with. I wrote a note inside this one too and dedicated it to my fabulous BM =)
http://www.amazon.com/Bridesmaid-Guide-Etiquette-Parties-Fabulous/dp/0811833003/ref=cm_lmf_tit_1
Posted on June 5, 2008 at 8:34 am
moemarsita
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07/06/2008
moemarsita

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I have three girls and they all paid. The dresses were $128 on Nordstrom.com and you usually get free or really cheap alterations with them. One BM was bummed about a $20 alteration, but for her wedding it was $50 at an alterations place just to get the bust in.
Posted on June 5, 2008 at 8:57 am
*Mandy*
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05/24/2008
*Mandy*

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Mine all paid for their's happily. However, I really found the best deals and sales so they didn't have to pay a lot.

I did talk it over with them and they were all in agreement to pay, all except my baby sister. Mostly because she's only 15 and couldn't pay.

I think normally if you can afford it, then go for it. But I think it's really their payment to make, unless there is an arrangement.
Posted on June 5, 2008 at 9:12 am
d1rtymart1n1
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12/04/2009
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i've been involved in both - i've paid for my own dress and alterations; and i've been in a wedding where the bride paid...

i think it's well accepted tho, tht when one accepts to be in a wedding, that she pays for her dress & alterations...

we're paying for the kidies tho - 4 flowergirls, 1 rb, his son's tux, and my God-daughter who is a jr bm

in addition to that - we're paying for hotel rooms for all the oot bp
Posted on June 5, 2008 at 7:01 pm
JustAnothrBridezilla
4
09/13/2008

JustAnothrBridezilla

I have 5 BM 1 MOH and 2 JBM they all paid for their own dresses. Its expected for them to pay for their own dresses but if you have the money some brides buy the dresses instead of giving them gifts. Its a really sweet gesture. Since they also pay for the B-Party and B-Shower plus the hotel room for the night before (if you are doing that) I'm giving my attendants gifts instead and paying for the rooms. It really just depends on what you want to spend your money on and how much. When you have so many girls it can get really expensive really fast. With all the other expenses of the wedding they will understand its custom for them to buy their own :)

Dina
Posted on June 5, 2008 at 8:09 pm

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