Catholic Church Ceremony - What should I be doing?

I'm kinda clueless about what needs to be done if I'm getting married in a Catholic church....  What type of costs are associated to a Church ceremony, and approximately how much?  (i.e. are there ceremonial fees)  


I know that we need to tip the priest.   What is the proper etiquette?


What is everyone doing in terms of music?   I know the church has a pianist.....  or should I hire musicians?  


Thanks so much!


 

Posted on November 26, 2008 at 11:45 am
chloeylee2006
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08/22/2009
chloeylee2006

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(13) Comments

thanh
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06/27/2009
thanh

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A lot of times it depends on the church.  For example, the music, we HAVE to use the church choir...Lucky for us the church that we're getting married in has a really great youth choir.


I know for tipping the priest, my mom told me it has to be at least $100.


Our church is costing us about $800.00.


You should really go to the church to figure this out though because you need to go to an engagement encounter for a weekend or like an 8 week period


Whoever is Catholic needs to get all of their certificates (baptism, first communion, and confirmation)


Good Luck

Posted on November 26, 2008 at 12:01 pm
married2mrwright
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09/29/2007
married2mrwright

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married2mrwright

Depends upon your church and diocese, but here's a general list:


--Church rental (usually waived for parishoners)


--Priest's Fee or Donation


--Altar Servers (if you're doing a Full Mass with communion)


--Musicians (normally the Music Director will help arrange musicians for you and generally you have to use folks from their list).  Pianist/organist for sure.  If you're having a full mass, adding a cantor is a good idea to lead the psalm and responses, sing during communion, etc.  Other options (depending upon your parish) are a choir, string quartet, harp, guitar or harp/flute, guitar/flute duo.  Check with your parish director of music ministry for their restrictions/requirements.


--Premarital counseling (usually Engaged Encounter or similar is required)


--Church Wedding Coordinator (many churches have their own staff member or volunteer responsible for coordinating the time in the church and you'll want to tip this person or give them a small gift)


--Flowers (many churches require flowers for the altar and those are generally donated to the church and not removed to be repurposed at the reception)


--Cord, veil, coins (if you're doing these as part of your ceremony and are not borrowing these items) --Presentation to Mary (if you will do this you need to have flowers for it, generally ordered from your florist. Some brides have a small "break away" portion of their bouquet and leave it at the statue of Mary/altar)


--Missals (similar to a printed program but also includes the parts of the mass, especially the responses, so that your non-Catholic guests can follow along)

Posted on November 26, 2008 at 12:23 pm
dne24
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10/10/2009
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We're just starting to go through this process now.  It's a bit complicated depending on where you are getting married.  This is what I've been finding based on where we live in California.  Generally, it is preferred that you get married in the parish that is designated for your area (usually determined by the zipcode that you reside in).  If you are going to get married outside of your zip code's parish you have to get permission and find and bring in your own priest to preside over the ceremony.  This priest is also the one who will do the pre-canae stuff with you.  I have heard that some churches allow you to do this in a weekend but what we've been finding is that you need 9 months notice and 6-9 months preparation time! 


Because of this, I would recommend checking with the church and reception availability at around the same time.  You have to submit paperwork (baptismal certificate which should include communion and confirmation-- this was easy to get, I just called the church i grew up in and they are sending it).  Your priest also has to talk to the priest at the church and okay everything before they confirm your date.  It may vary but I would definitely check first with the church you want to get married in. 


I have heard that some churches are stricter than others in terms of music, flowers, and photography.  Some churches don't allow you to take pictures (like with your family by the altar) inside after the cermony.  Some churches don't allow excessive flowers, aisle runners, or bubbles outside. 


I've collected some info for Southern California churches (I'm in LA, my FI in SD) so feel free to send me a message directly if I can be of more help in that area! We're keeping my fingers crossed that we can get it all done in time, only have 1.5 more weeks to submit =o(


 

Posted on November 26, 2008 at 12:49 pm
chloeylee2006
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08/22/2009
chloeylee2006

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Thanks so much girls!   

Posted on November 26, 2008 at 12:51 pm
d1rtymart1n1
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12/04/2009
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ditto lori


also - check with the church's coordinator re florals; music


one of the churches we contacted did not allow real petals to be tossed by the fgs b/c of the staining issue; music is another one you have to run by the church to see what pieces are acceptable


my fh's church (lutheran) doesnt allow pew decor on every pew - allowed is one every 3 pews - so i think it depends on each church


also ---> gather your baptismal certificate to show your parish priest

Posted on November 26, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Tracilynn
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08/25/2008
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Also you should check about flash photography.  I got married at St. Francis os Assisi church in Downtown Sacramento.  Because of the art on the ceiling and walls, they really wanted us to limit the amout of flashes that was used.  Also when I gave my presentation to the Blessed Virgin Mary, I had someone sing Ave Maria.  So beautifull

Posted on November 26, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Diana_Sommers
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11/28/2008
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Diana_Sommers

There is alot to be done with your wedding mass booklet, select prayers and readings, front cover and wedding party.... this takes anlot of time, so start early. Check out www.weddingmassbooklets.ie and also www.weddingstationeryireland.ie


 


they will send you readings etc... and help with your book layout and print them for you, very reasonable.


Diana

Posted on November 27, 2008 at 10:02 pm
FSUKristi
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02/21/2009
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When we met with the priest, he gave us a book called "Together for Life" and it has all the readings and prayers that we can pick from to use during the ceremony. We also took something like a compatability test called a FOCCUS and are doing an engagement weekend with a married couple from the church and I think 3 other engaged couples.


It not only varies by Diocese but also by Parish so it's really important to check with your priest and get that parish's specific instructions. For example, we can have flower arrangements by the altar, but they can't be taller than the altar. We also can't do a unity candle or have the flower girl toss petals and we can't have an aisle runner. Another church we looked at, we could do all of those things, so it really depends on the parish.

Posted on November 28, 2008 at 2:21 am
twinklen01
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01/03/2009
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ok, my church is also kinda vague. I was told we need to give the virgin mary flowers, $150 for the ceremony, so do we also have to tip on top of that?


We have to get our own music and we cant block the pew openings. Fathers wants people to be able to exit pew for communion


 


As far as the reading nothing was ever said. Does someone in the fmily do the reading or the piest?

Posted on November 29, 2008 at 7:30 pm
lh2b
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02/21/2009
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Just like FSUK, our church gave us the "Together for Life" booklet. It helps tons...but like pp, you must check with your church for their guidelines.


Tippin for the Priest is usually $200-$500. Atleast, thats what they printed in our guideline book.


Our church is charging us a whopping $1800! This includes all the stipends for everyone EXCEPT the Priest. In the end this is what we had to fork out so far:


Church 1800


Priest $200


Engage Encounter $300


Total: $2300


 


* twinkle- we are having 2 of our good friends do our readings, as far as I know, you get to pick who you want to do this. I really suggest getting the TFL booklet. It has it all. =)


 

Posted on November 29, 2008 at 8:34 pm
lh2b
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02/21/2009
lh2b

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lh2b

BTW: Our church gave us a checklist, see if your church provides you with something similar too. ;)

Posted on November 29, 2008 at 8:36 pm
badgerbride
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06/13/2009
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badgerbride

Wow thanks for all the info girls, super helpful!

Posted on November 30, 2008 at 2:40 am
chloeylee2006
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08/22/2009
chloeylee2006

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Thanks again everyone for their help on this topic!

Posted on November 30, 2008 at 6:14 am

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