Cold Feet? Off Day?

Did any of the brides (married now or still engaged) ever had/have those days where you just aren't feeling the wedding thing? Is this a sign of 'cold feet'? Doubt? Or just an off day? Now that those have been answered in your head, what did you do about it?
Posted on September 12, 2013 at 1:05 pm
hsoon2bmrsc
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10/19/2013
hsoon2bmrsc

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(18) Comments

poppyaka
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06/11/2011
poppyaka

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Hi Pamela!

I never had the "cold feet" feeling.  I was really excited to plan most of the days and then there were days when people would test my patience. lol  However I never felt like I was having cold feet.  I know some days when I was tired of wedding planning but we had a two year engagement.  The majority of the time, I loved coming on PW and other sites and looking at the many ideas of weddings, bacholorette, and bridal shower event ideas.

Are you having doubts about the idea of marriage or are you just tired of planning?  Sometimes taking a couple days off or a week helps to rejuvenate the wedding planning.

Hope my insight helps.

Posted on September 12, 2013 at 1:37 pm
hsoon2bmrsc
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10/19/2013
hsoon2bmrsc

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hsoon2bmrsc

Thanks poppyaka for your insight! By the time we are married we will be 2 months shy of a 2 yr engagement. I never thought that I'd be 'tired' of planning but I guess I have met my limits. I guess I'm a little overwhelmed with it all. I guess that's the price for a DIY wedding. I don't feel like I'm having 'cold feet' or doubts. We've been together for almost 5 yrs so I don't think that was it. I just thought it may be another 'version' of them or something...LOL. Thanks for the advice. I think I will take a break from it all, if that's possible with only 4 1/2 wks from the big day. :) Many blessings to you!
Posted on September 12, 2013 at 3:10 pm
Canooknic
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07/19/2013
Canooknic

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Canooknic

 I definitely had 'off days'.  After about 6-8 weeks of intense planning I'd had enough, luckily I started planning early so I stopped for a month - no magazines, no DIY, no discussion and decision making.....nothing wedding related.  After that month off I was completely reenergised again and was so happy to get back into planning mode.

i know you don't have the luxury of that time, but even a weekend off will make you feel better I'm sure

Posted on September 12, 2013 at 3:53 pm
MOBRIDE72
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04/25/2015
MOBRIDE72

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My engagement will be 2 years. I don't get cold feet but sometimes you just have to step back and take a deep breath
Posted on September 12, 2013 at 9:35 pm
Eurestruly
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09/07/2013
Eurestruly

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I agree with the other ladies. We all need a break when it's a diy wedding. Luckily, my husband was an amazing fiance and helped me along the way. But take a weekend and do something non-wedding related. Believe me, when things start coming down to the wire you will be energized again. 

It also might help on those "off" days to visualize your day. Looks like you'll be getting married mid-October. What a beautiful time of year! The leaves will be bursting with color and the air will be crisp and cool. Pumpkins and mums will be everywhere. Pretty, golden sunsets....and you will be the most beautiful bride!

Posted on September 13, 2013 at 8:46 am
jmbuss9
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07/22/2012
jmbuss9

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jmbuss9

I've never had the feeling of "cold feet". But I did get the case of "this is just a day or 2 off"! I got in the mood where I didn't even want to look at anything wedding, then a day or 2 later I would be just fine back to planning and loving it! ;) Lol
Posted on September 13, 2013 at 1:11 pm
hsoon2bmrsc
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10/19/2013
hsoon2bmrsc

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Thanks so much for the advice ladies! I am definitely taking a few days, the whole weekend to be exactly, away from the wedding decisions, charts, crafts, etc! I have come to the conclusions, through much advice and prayer, that it's the overwhelmed feeling that's made me feel like this.
Posted on September 13, 2013 at 8:34 pm
hsoon2bmrsc
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10/19/2013
hsoon2bmrsc

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Eurestruly, thanks so much for those beautiful thoughts that you put into my head. They were a refresher!
Posted on September 13, 2013 at 8:37 pm
awyeah79
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10/12/2013
awyeah79

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 Hey girl. I feel ya on this one. I absolutely hate planning and spending money. I was excited to be engaged. After two weeks I was over the whole wedding part. Not the marriage part - in fact we got married last month because that's all we really wanted - the "each other" part. The rest of it just feels expensive and unnecessary to me but our "circus" as I now refer to it is in 27 days - October 12th so we sort of have to wrap it up. I hate what the industry has done to marriage. I am looking forward to the beauty of October and my life with him but could seriously do without the debt (only $13,000 but we paid for it ourselves) and the audience and all the expectations thanks to Pinterest and "Four Weddings" types of shows. That said I hope you and I both manage to catch the Perky Happy Today's The Best Day of My Life and OMG I Have Mason Jars bug before our big days lol. I hate being so whatever about it. I love marriage but have been over the wedding for 7 months!!! Best wishes though on a positive note and I don't think it has to do with cold feet about marriage for you. I think you're just normal and exhausted ;) 

Posted on September 15, 2013 at 9:39 pm
NicoleJuliette
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11/12/2011
NicoleJuliette

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 I wouldn't say that I ever had cold feet, I knew without a doubt that I wanted to marry DH. I had never been so sure of anything in my life! However, there were many times I was over the wedding planning thing. My sugeestion is to take some time off! Take a week or so to not plan a single thing, don't even talk about wedding planning for the whole week. It does wonders to come back relaxed and ready!

Posted on September 16, 2013 at 9:32 am
Sammy_D
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09/10/2011
Sammy_D

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I've seen a lot of brides here just get tired and/or overwhelmed with planning, and I know I felt the same way on occasion. It's not cold feet, as in you don't want to get married, it's just you sick of planning the actual wedding. Nothing wrong with that at all! Remember that the wedding is completely different than the marriage - one is a party for a day, the other is the rest of your life :)

Posted on September 16, 2013 at 10:55 am
hsoon2bmrsc
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10/19/2013
hsoon2bmrsc

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hsoon2bmrsc

To all the ladies that commented: Thanks so much for your comments. I took it to heart and did take a break this weekend since I have such a short time til the big day. I even sent all the 'vendors' and such straight to voice maiI and now I'm doing the calling today. I have had a good weekend with no planning, no discussing the planning, etc. It was a def refresher!
Posted on September 16, 2013 at 5:10 pm
Linnn
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09/14/2014
Linnn

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Linnn

 good info!

I just started the planning stages and already getting tired of it. totally agree with ohyeah79 about what the expectations are and what it should be and actually what's being offered at these venues(just started looking).

I do take some days where I dont look at anything wedding related and say let him start researching some places, b/c this can be a bit much. 

 

good luck to you pamela!

Posted on September 18, 2013 at 2:48 pm
gmarie
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09/28/2014
gmarie

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 Let me preface this by saying I love my fiancé and CANNOT wait to be married to him. That being said ... Pamela, thank you for creating this thread. I'm a little over a month engaged and I have had more than just a few "off" days. ...  Awyeah79, THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU for your response. I too, was really excited for about 2 weeks. Now I'm just really overwhelmed. I feel like everywhere I turn I just see dollar signs. Living and planning the wedding in Southern California doesn't help either. Not everyone that lives here is Real Houswives of Who Cares rich. Budget planning can be really exhausting, so thank you ladies for letting me know I'm not alone. And thank you for making me feel a little less abnormal for not being OMG SUPER 100%FULL SPEED AHEAD in this planning turned circus thing. 

Posted on September 22, 2013 at 1:24 pm
hsoon2bmrsc
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10/19/2013
hsoon2bmrsc

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hsoon2bmrsc

gamarie, I am glad that this has helped you. I debated for a few days on whether or not to mention it as I too thought that I would be the only one that didn't have that "full speed ahead" attitude. I was to the point of just doing the 'eloping' thing and be done with it. BUT I was too far into the planning and too close to the wedding date that I didn't want to just drop it all. So....These ladies helped me more than they will know with their advice. I don't know what kind of time frame you have but I would suggest the same thing that I did which turned out to be the best thing: take a weekend (or so, according to your time frame) off from any and all aspects of wedding. The wedding industry has become so commercialized that it's so hard to be within a budget that one can also live and pay bills. My prayers are with you during your planning stages of the wedding. Many blessings~
Posted on September 24, 2013 at 4:44 am
mkleinsmith
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01/08/2014
mkleinsmith

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mkleinsmith

 What a great question! Thanks for asking, and it's nice to see others in the same boat.

Mine was never a case of cold feet from planning the wedding, I just had serious moments of "Am I doing the right this?" as marriage is a big deal (to me at least) and this is the rest of my life. I just take deep breaths, and focus on the here and now and realise what an amazing man I have, and a very supportive family. Sometimes I didn't feel the planning thing, as I was a little confused in my head. But three months out, I"m super excited and can't wait for the big day! It's not just the wedding, it's the days, months, years after that we need to plan for as well. And I can't wait! x

Posted on September 30, 2013 at 7:42 pm
katpic23
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04/19/2014
katpic23

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My wedding is in April and I'm trying to get everything done early so that I have time later to do the fun little extra details. Unfortunately, I'm still stressing and feeling overwhelmed, but at least I have the time to spare. We are paying for this ourselves, and with just having bought a house and moved across the country, funds are tight. I, too, am seeing dollar signs everywhere I look, and it can certainly take the fun out of all of this. I'm saving where I can, and doing a lot of DIY and using people that I know for things like flowers and cake. I spoke to my recently-married-bridesmaids about invitations, and confirmed that people will probably not remember your invitation, and they don't really care how fancy it is - so don't blow a ton of money on them! I ordered my invitations for $164!! For 125 invitations! It is going to cost us more in postage than the actual invitations. gmarie - check out Exclusively Weddings for your invitations! Good luck to all of you in each aspect of planning and being married. Your words all helped immensely!
Posted on September 30, 2013 at 7:45 pm
MrsCaleYoung
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06/30/2012
MrsCaleYoung

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 I never had cold feet, I knew 100% I wanted to get married, but planning the wedding was frustrating and very overwhelming at times! My wedding party, the ladies, drove me nuts!!! When I was totally overwhelmed, as the other ladies said, I stepped away from planning and all thoughts of wedding and did something non wedding related. When I came back to it, I was fresh and rejuvenated! 

Posted on October 1, 2013 at 11:10 am

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