Criticism

Sometimes it is intentional, most time of the time it is not.....Some of us have dished it out and I am pretty sure all of us have been on the receiving end of it at some point in our lives. How do you deal with criticism, whether it is from FI/DH...a loved one or anyone?


 


Depending on who it comes from, I can become defensive. For me, it is difficult at times to not let certain critical comments get under my skin (especially if the timing is bad or if it comes from FI) but, I deal with it much better than I used to! I guess as I get older, I am beginning to focus more on the message rather than the rough delivery :-)

Posted on November 20, 2009 at 12:22 pm
soon2beMrs.Jackson
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soon2beMrs.Jackson

soon2beMrs.Jackson

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(3) Comments

Missie1284
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Missie1284

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Missie1284

I'm the same way! I can get defensive, but I am more willing to hear it now than I was when I was younger! I will tell someone if I think they were harsh in their delivery, but I can accept criticism and work towards changing things if I think I need to.

Posted on November 22, 2009 at 5:02 am
Niecy
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Niecy

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Niecy

My skin is pretty thick .... like Missie when I was younger I didn't take it as well ... but my mom has always "checked me"  when I needed it ...and I know even if I don't like what she is saying I need to think about it .... and I will .... my DH doesn't criticize unless he is aggravated about something ....so usually his delivery is more of an offhand comment than a direct statement ...but because I have figured this out I recognise it ... and sometimes I get irritated ,  sometimes I don't ...depends on wether I know he's right or he is just giving an unsolicited opinion ;)


 


As far as me dishing it out .....I hate confrontation so I always try to give "constructively"  ....unless its coming out in the heat of an argument ...then Im a jerk with a razor tongue :/

Posted on November 23, 2009 at 12:54 am
MizBiz
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MizBiz

Ditto Niecy.....my skin is pretty thick.  Growing up my parents didn't sugar coat anything and always made me look at a situation and figure out what I may have done wrong and how I could fix it.  When I was younger, this would really bother me.  I felt like they were always telling me everything was my fault but in essence they were teaching me to deal with a situation whether it was my fault or not.  I had to learn the skills to turn things around for myself and not wait for others.


It's not very often DH will critisize me and if he does it's through the form of a joke or off hand comment.  I don't get upset though.  I value DH's opinion and (as corny as it sounds) knowing him and loving him has made me a better person, so if there's some aspect of me I need to work on that he notices then I will definately take his thoughts into consideration and work on it.


As far as giving criticism----  I'm bad at that.  I hate confrontation, to a fault.

Posted on November 24, 2009 at 12:46 am

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