Dear Vile Ex-Boyfriend....
Dear Vile Revolting Ex-Boyfriend,
You are probably the most pathetic example of manhood I have ever met. I was 18 you were 31...what was I thinking?? If one of my male friends started dating a schoolgirl now I'd be utterly disgusted with them. You crushed what little confidence I had and liked to tell me you were better than me at everything all the time. Your stories were boring. Your voice was monotinous. You were self absorbed and not at all mentally stimulating. When I think of your runty frame and your little creepy hands I actually feel sick. (Oh, and did I ever tell you that you were utterly atrocious in bed?)
What surprise I felt when 7 years after I fired you, I receive a friend request off you on facebook today. Does the fact that I changed my number the week after I threw you out of my house tell you anything? Or that my friends hate you so much they walk off if they see you in the bar?The only reason I'd let you on my list is so that you could see that since I gave you the boot I have acheived everything in life that you are not capable of, not to mention met a fiance who is twice the man you will ever be- tall,dark and handsome, well educated, successful, loving and thoughtfull. As tempting as it is to rub your beaky little nose in it..I dont think I will, as I am just about above that. Now, get back to your girlfriend and baby and quit annoying me.
Eternally your Ex.
Ps. If you show up anywhere on my bach I will break your knees- If my bridesmaids dont get to you first.