Delegating: 12 days and Counting...

I'm 12 days away from the wedding and I still have tons of little detail things on my to-do list.  I'm having a hard time delegating.  My FI says its a control thing...I think he's partially right.  The main thing that keeps from reaching out is that I feel like I'm burdening people with my projects. 


Anyone else having a hard time delegating?  Any suggestions on how to delegate without feeling like I'm dumping things on people?


TIA!

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 9:36 am
its.nicsknack
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(10) Comments

badgerbride
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06/13/2009
badgerbride

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I'm sure there are many people who would love to help. Have you had anyone offer in the past? If so, I would go to them first. The next time someone asks how last minute details are going, let them know that you have way to much on your plate and ask if they would mind doing a part. Give them the option to say no, so you don't feel like you're forcing it upon them! Good luck! I wish I could help!

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 9:39 am
Paddysgirl
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Hell ya!! I could have written your post. I have barely said a word to anybody but my mom and future in laws. Part of it is control, part of it is not wanting yet ANOTHER opinion which gets me anxious and indecisive("Is this ok, is that ok?"). But the other issue is not wanting to burden anyone. I have a huge problem with not wanting to inconvenience anyone.


I hope some of the girls reply with suggestions because I need some too.


If it helps at all, I know many people like to feel they have a job to do and want so much to help. So in my case, I'm giving them little tasks to do in the days before and day of the wedding. I just have to give in an just get over myself;-)


HTH:-)


 

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 9:45 am
m824
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08/24/2008
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I am!!! My sister and Mom have been helping a lot & one of my BMs who is a co-worker. Other than that people keep asking if they can help and I'm having a hard time letting the control go. I guess that's why it's 5 days til my wedding and I'm still MEGA stressed about all there is to do!

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 9:47 am
WMforever
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06/14/2009
WMforever

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ahh! don't worry nicksnack. It will work out! I havent been there so I cant offer personal advice but I've heard a lot of brides say "you have got to let go" and just let people help you. You're not burdening anyone. I'm sure you're not gonig to ask them to videotape your wedding! The tasks you have left, as you said, are little details. Let them help you and feel special that they helped you :) Like lamend said, give them the option to say no but i'm sure they're all going to say yes. Good luck! Delegate delegate delegate!

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 9:48 am
its.nicsknack
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Thanks...it truly helps knowing that I'm not alone.  I need to work on "letting go" for my own sake I guess.


Soon2b....I can't believe you're only 5 days away!  Aww...do your best not to stress.  These 5 days are the last 5 days you have as a "bride-to-be."  Try to enjoy it :)  I can't wait to hear all about it!!!!!

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 9:57 am
m824
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Thank you nicksknack...I know it's crazy!! I'm doing my best to enjoy these last 5 days. :) :) I can't wait for the big day! :)

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 10:08 am
pinkyjane48
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08/24/2008
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Blah! I have the same issue, but I thnk its rooted in that other people want to do things their way even though it's not our style. I found that out early, said thanx but no thanks and did it all myself.


What I did was weed out the people who just take instruction and do it (ex: my aunt, a friend not in wedding party and cousin) and thats it. No moms, no bridal party, I dont need any extra tidbits. FI and I decided on stuff and those are the only opinions I cared about :)


My mom, FMIL and sister all think Im being really low key and easy, but its just because I know they dont have their fingers in it :) lol Thats mean but they can do it their way at some other event later

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 12:22 pm
MrsGG
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08/02/2008
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Girl, delegate, delegate as much as you can.  12 days will FLY by. 


The week of my wedding I enlisted the help of my brother, his girlfriend, my husband and who else wanted to help.  I had my own sweatshop, cracked the whip and we worked until 1am for 4 days straight!  ha!  We just had the tv in the background and they watched tv while they worked.  I heard a lot of groans but I think* secretly they were having fun.  ha!!


The Thursday before I still had a few things to do so my MIL and her two friends and I sat in the hotel lobby cutting ribbon and tying them around the petal pop corn boxes and fans.


If I didn't delegate nothing would've gotten done!  I did recut some of the ribbon edges but I just had to let go of the control.  :)

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 2:20 pm
mhanna22
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If your friends and family are anything like me...I LOVE helping...I mean I just went to attend my friend's wedding in Canada and next thing I know I was doing DIY Projects and playing DOC...I enjoy that and it makes me feel like I played a special part in her wedding...She kept thanking me and I kept telling her trust me it was fun! I enjoyed it and I'm sure your loved ones will too!!!  Good luck and try to delegate!!

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 2:31 pm
pinkgerbers
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I have a really hard time delegating, but I learned that when people say, "Is there anything I can do to help?" they really mean it.  Since you are overwhelmed, promise yourself that everytime that someone says that to you, you will answer yes and give them something.  In fact, carry your to-do list broken down to all of the little things that need to be done so that you can look at it at choose something together that they would enjoy.  I promise you that even passing off a little thing helps ease your mind.

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 3:02 pm

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