Destination wedding- other events for guests?

hi - We are planning a wedding at a hotel in Maui for about 20 guests.
aside from the ceremony and dinner reception the day of the wedding.
What is the etiquette on having other events for guests? What types are standard, or what have you done?
I've read about some things like:
- welcome party with drinks and or'deurves the evening prior
- brunch the day after the wedding
- luau dinner
What is "standard" and what have you done? We do not plan on holding a rehearsal dinner.
Posted on February 12, 2008 at 2:02 pm
ms.hazelton
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08/03/2007
ms.hazelton

ms.hazelton

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married2mrwright
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09/29/2007
married2mrwright

married2mrwright

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married2mrwright

I had a DW in Kauai for 21 guests...the majority were on the island from Wednesday to Wednesday...some came Thursday-Monday and other stayed for longer. We organized events and people could chose what they wanted to do or not. The ones with asteriks (*) we paid for, the rest were unhosted.



Thursday - Ladies Brunch/Guy's Golf Scramble followed by an impromptu Bachelor and Bachelorette Get Together.

Friday - Welcome BBQ (*); We gave out OOT bags here.

Saturday - Wedding Day (ceremony, cocktail hour & dinner) (*)

Sunday - Morning Brunch (*) & Na Pali Coast Sail (others went to the beach); we all met up as a group for another dinner at Duke's Canoe Club.

Monday - BBQ and Snorkeling on the North Shore at my mom's rental (she hosted)...we snuck off for an hour for our TTD session.

Tuesday - Kayaking the Wailua and Hiking to Secret Falls




You can check out my Married Bio on The Knot to see pics and read all about that week (and our minimoon in Maui too).



I also invite you to check out the Hawaii Board there, the girls there are great!
Other Hawaii Brides do Luaus (no one in my group was interested) and other group activities.


Here's our wedding website too, so you can see the information we provided to our guests: www.DecterandWright.com
Posted on February 12, 2008 at 3:21 pm
champagnecholly
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09/19/2008
champagnecholly

champagnecholly

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champagnecholly

Wow that was an event-filled time, Lori! I'm still having a similar crunch.

I guess the dilemma we had was this - either we do a bunch of events and scrimp on the main party or we have few events and make the party really fun. When I posed it as Sunday Brunch or a Band to my fiance - he chose the band. We are still having cocktails Friday night and instead of brunch I'm sending everyone home with a croissant and an orange juice or I'm going to speak to the hotel about having a croissant delivered to everyone's room the next morning, but most likely the first option for the sake of convenience!

We are hosting 60, if our final count is smaller we will go out for the Brunch since we're feeding fewer drinks on Friday and dinners on Saturday! Otherwise its just not in the budget!

We don't expect people to stay for more than the weekend considering what most of our friends do for a living so we didn't want to schedule any other activities other than a bridesmaids brunch and a parents dinner Friday. This gives out guests Saturday day to explore the area and plan their own things, be it sitting on the beach or bicycling or riding or golf etc etc

We are also forgoing the rehearsal dinner etc so we are having a "parents" dinner for our families to get together the night before. After dinner we'll meet the rest of our guests for a nightcap where we'll serve cocktails for two hours.
Posted on February 12, 2008 at 3:29 pm
married2mrwright
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09/29/2007
married2mrwright

married2mrwright

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married2mrwright

We decided to plan a lot of events because we didn't want to be pulled in all directions once we were on the island. We knew everyone would want to do stuff with us and decided to map it out so that people knew what to expect and decide what they wanted to participate in.

The only things we actually paid for was the DIY Welcome BBQ (we hit up Costco and grilled at the resort's picnic area...about $10 pp), the wedding ( about $50 pp) and the day after brunch (held at a family-style restaurant and about $10 pp.).

The rest? We made reservations and peole paid their own way. We did try to choose a variety of things and decent price points (the sailing was the most expensive at $80 per person, but it included lunch and 4 hours on the water).

We also knew that we'd have 5 days on Maui just the two of us, so we didn't mind spending our week in Kauai out and about with our guests.
Posted on February 12, 2008 at 5:39 pm
champagnecholly
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09/19/2008
champagnecholly

champagnecholly

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champagnecholly

Wow that's a great deal, you really crunched those numbers! I wish we could DIY BBQ, our site doesn't allow outside food - but since we're only there for the weekend we figured people would be getting in dif time Fri night, my rationalization anyways! I wish we had more time with everyone now, sailing sounds fun!!!
Posted on February 13, 2008 at 3:54 am
married2mrwright
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09/29/2007
married2mrwright

married2mrwright

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married2mrwright

Oh I was a MAJOR budgetzilla! LOL! But I don't think our wedding felt cheap even though it was inexpensive (realitvely speaking, of course).
Posted on February 13, 2008 at 6:30 am
ms.hazelton
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08/03/2007
ms.hazelton

ms.hazelton

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ms.hazelton

thx Lori! this is all very helpful, and gives me good ideas to go with!
Posted on February 13, 2008 at 6:57 am

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