Disappointed and judged

I saw a post about this story on this thread. I was appalled but I was surprised to see most ladies agreed with what the shop did. Not only that they said that because I said I try to be healthy, that wasn't the same as being healthy. So in other words because I am plus size/overweight I am a fat slob and obviously never works out and eats cookies all day. In reality I work out most days and eat moderate amounts of all foods, I don't  even eat desert more than once or twice a week! 


I'm scared to even reply there any more because of how judgmental they are all being abut it. So I thought I would all of your opinions here instead.


Should they be able to charge extra for people they consider overweight?

Posted on August 25, 2010 at 3:06 pm
RoRoless3sSL
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(18) Comments

SincityBride
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Personally, I don't feel that a plus size person should have to pay extra for items/services that do not require the use of more supplies or materials.  I think that the salon owner's reason for charging the additional fee was rather weak as well.  What if a woman came in with her 6ft2 210 lb husband and he wanted to get a simple manicure??  Would they be charged more too?  How does she determine the weight of her clients??  What if I am 5ft tall and weigh 180??  I may LOOK like I am over 200, but I am not.  Or, take for instance the mom with 2 boys that came into the salon when I was getting my nails done.  Her kids were JUMPING and twirling on the chairs and they knocked over and broke a display of polish.  Hmmm, do we now charge all moms with kids extra, or just the ones with unruly kids? 

Posted on August 25, 2010 at 5:57 pm
amorza
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I can't believe how this thread went. Honestly most people who are smaller have no idea how it feels to be overweight. For most it is NOT a choice, take for instance myself. I was a size 4 most of my life. Then I had kids and I'm a 18. I'm disabled which means its extremely hard for me to lose weight, do the normal excercises like people with legs can. This is not a choice for me. People are just insensative when it's not them.

Posted on August 26, 2010 at 11:50 am
RoRoless3sSL
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I basically starved myself when I was younger (about 15) because I was told I was fat by peers, and I went from a 16 down to an 11 and then I was still told I was fat! I gave up just ate when I was hungry and tried to be healthy as much as I could. and I went back up to a 16 again very quickly. Yeah, I eat an occasional cheese burger but most nights I'm eating baked chicken or some kind of veggie dish. Don't tell me that most of the women on this forum don't occasionally eat one either! I firmly believe that some people are just made bigger than others for one reason than another! 

Posted on August 26, 2010 at 3:13 pm
amorza
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The part that angered me the most was from the lady who lost weight, she was the most judgemental of them all. She know the stuggles that overweight people have yet she seemed like she was better then those who still haven't lost the weight.

Posted on August 26, 2010 at 4:20 pm
RoRoless3sSL
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Oh I know that upset me too. She's thinks because she lost it, it makes her better.


I'm really sad to say it but I never felt like I had to watch what I said PW for fear of being judged or put down but after that thread I feel like some of the people are being two-faced to me all the time when they compliment me. So ready to judge other people and say really hurtful things. I'm honestly still very hurt about it and I don't feel like I can even go back into that thread and say I was hurt by their replies without someone making another snarky comment.

Posted on August 26, 2010 at 9:58 pm
amorza
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I understand, I left the group today after seeing it. I just couldnt stomach it. I dont think the bride who posted it meant for the thread to go that way at all.

Posted on August 27, 2010 at 1:00 am
Melly1588
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I'd like to start off with another apology. If anything I said in that thread offended you that wasn't my intention. I really hope you aren't referring to me as the one who " thinks they're better than everyone".

I think I'm being made to look a certain way. That I'm "disgusted by fat people, I'm judgmental" etc. That is NOT the case. I apologize if it came off that way. In this particular case I had heard about this story on my local news. All they said was "an overweight woman was charged $5 extra at a nail salon" I was like "Whaaat?! I was outraged. I didn't get a chance to hear the whole story until boricua_bride posted the article and I read it. Than I saw that they we talking about the chair and that's when I said "I guess I get it" because in my mind I thought they just charged $5 for no other reason other than she was overweight.

In this case I was only thinking about that particular woman in that story, not anyone else and that is probably where I was wrong. I should have put more thought into my answer. My own mother is overweight for goodness sakes, of course I wouldn't want her to be discriminated against or charged extra at the nail salon. I sincerely apologize if I've offended you all. I hope you can accept it and understand that I'm really NOT THAT girl who think they're better than anyone else. I really do feel badly about this whole situation.
Posted on August 27, 2010 at 2:06 am
amorza
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The situation sucks all the way around. It sucks for the business, for the lady involved and future patrons. That being said, I think that plus-size people, weather by choice or circumstance, have a choice here. Those who live in that area can just not go there at all. Its the best thing about living in this country, we can choose to not use services if we don't like their practices. BTW it was not you I was referring to.:D

Posted on August 27, 2010 at 2:43 am
BlissfulKate
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I was really surprised at all the responses in that thread too - and not in a good way. I have and always will be plus-size. The only time I wasn't plus-size was when I gave up eating and would purge anything I did eat. Even then, I was 145lbs. My hip bones were jutting out so far that they made scabs on my hips. At my fittest, I'm 185 - 190lbs. I have muscle and curves, yes, but that's the way my body is made. As Cartman says on Southpark, I'm big boned - literally. I also carry a lot of muscle. So calling 200lbs obese and reading an article like that broke my heart into pieces. I highly doubt the weight limit on those chairs is 200lbs, but if it is, then the salon needs to invest in better chairs with a higher weight capacity that's more reasonable.

Posted on August 27, 2010 at 4:07 am
bfly23
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I won't even get started on the other responses- because if there was a "skinny" charge for something there would be an up-roar!  The point is if they charge for that they could charge for anything.  And bottom-line if it isn't posted anywhere -even if it is just fine print- and you don't sign anything I dont' believe they should be obligated to pay an extra fee.

Posted on September 6, 2010 at 1:47 am
dodgercpkl
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Wow... I can't believe the comments on that thread.  I've had issues with my weight all my life.  Some of it I can most certainly contribute to myself and lack of restraint.  But I can also say that sometimes despite my best efforts, I gain weight.  


The weight thing bugs me on many levels.  I mean I can get the reasoning behind somethings, especially the airline seats (those things are sooo small most of the time), but this $5 salon charge is ridiculous on so many levels.  As others have stated, it wasn't posted ANYWHERE.  Sure you have the right to charge what you want as a business owner, but if you aren't being upfront in what your charges are then you can expect to fail at your business.  In an odd way, that's false advertising.  I mean think about it.  They are posting "Manicure - $25" with NOTHING to say that there could be an extra charge and then charging $30!  It's bait and switch in my opinion.


I noticed that a lot of people had brought up the long hair = higher charge thing.  Yeah ok, that's true, but that's also stated UP FRONT.  If I don't like the higher charge for my long hair, then I can choose NOT to have the service.  The point is that the extra fee for long hair is A) known to me, and B) makes sense because it takes extra time and usually extra training.


I would also put out there that in this case the salon owner was most certainly being discriminatory.  Why do I say that?  Because she's picking and choosing who to give that $5 extra charge to.  Had she put the customer in question on a scale at the start of the session, then the lady would have definitely been clued in to the fact that something wierd/different was going on.  Unless the salon owner was weighing EVERYONE they helped, then she's being discriminatory based on her PERCEPTION of people's looks.


I also very much agree that kids jumping up and down on chairs and running around, can cost extra in the maintenance of the chairs and in fixing/replacing things that got broken as a result, yet very rarely do those parents have to pay for those things.  


My personal opinion is this:  The salon SHOULD have gotten better chairs to begin with.  Barring that they have a responsibility to POST that there would be an extra charge for people over 200lbs AND they have a responsibility to handle that in an appropriate manner by weighing EVERYONE - and it should be done BEFORE the person ever sits down, so that it's upfront.  Barring either of those, the salon should have just simply raised it's prices to compensate.


I have to say that as a plus size lady, I'm hugely annoyed that I have to pay 50% extra for my health insurance, especially considering that in the last 12+ years I've only used the emergency room 2x's.  I mean believe me, I get WHY they do it, but it's frustrating to know that even though I've always been a healthy person, I have to pay more ya know?

Posted on September 6, 2010 at 3:21 am
JohnsWife0919
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I wasn't going to say anything...i read the other thread, and to be honest after reading some of the other "girls" comments on there made me not want to be a part of PW. How nasty and judgemental some of them were.....Guess because Im older and out of that "looks are everyting" mentality and realize people should be judged for who they are not what they look like Im not sure I can be a part of a group that condones that type of behavior. I can say this, alot of thos pretty girls sure look damn ugly to me now after seeing what is really inside of them.

Posted on September 6, 2010 at 2:05 pm
amorza
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Yeah JohnsWife0919 thats how I was feeling. Which is why I left the group. I havent seen anything like that since I was on theknot.

Posted on September 6, 2010 at 5:05 pm
RoRoless3sSL
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Exactly John's wife. I still really avoid posting on topics that contain weight/looks issues if some of those people have already posted there. I don't think the mods were condoning the behavior though. They shut down the thread, but I don't think that solved the issue. I'm sure it's going to come out again. In fact today I had to nicely put another poster in her place for  making rude comments about plus size girls. I think the best thing we as a group can do is make a big deal of it to them mods when it happens, and defend ourselves as nicely as possible. 

Posted on September 6, 2010 at 5:33 pm
nikolaiweddings
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I couldn't even comment on the previous thread. I was so LIVID!!! Some of those ladies were so judgemental! It made me look at some of my "favorite" posters in a different way for sure. These ladies have no idea what it's like to be out of control of your weight. Needing to lose 10-20lbs to get into a size 4 wedding gown is NOT the same as needing to lose 100lbs to get into a size 4.


It's rare that obesity is caused by extreme overeating. It's usually an extra few hundred calories a day extra over a long period of time. I used to be a ballerina. I was a size 0 and 110lbs. I have a congenital knee defect that manifested itself at age 15. I had to stop dancing to ensure I wouldn't have to have a knee replacement at age 16. I went from being a 110lbs to 150lbs. Then,  I was on medication that destroyed my metabolism and went from 150lbs to 200lbs. Then I had a baby. I'm currently at 217lbs. It's not like I'm downing an entire pizza by myself. I eat healthfully!


I own my own business and it's absolutely pathetic that I have to be worried about being perceived as lazy because I'm overweight.


BTW, I checked the weight limit on the chairs at the salon I frequent and it's 375lbs.

Posted on September 6, 2010 at 5:57 pm
RoRoless3sSL
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We are all here for different reasons, many of them related to health and not laziness or stuffing our faces day in and day out. It hurts when people make mean assumptions about us when they aren't true.  


But ladies we do need to be careful we don't become just as judgmental as they are, I don't want them to look at our group and say we are judging them for being skinny. Or saying all skinny people are mean to their chubby counterparts. What many of them said was rude, but some of the ladies were nice and I want to acknowledge that. :-)

Posted on September 6, 2010 at 6:20 pm
Melly1588
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JohnsWife- That behavior is not "condoned". I'm sorry you are all feeling hurt and judged by those comments. But there was a reason that thread was locked. I don't think coming here and posting about the members in that group is going to help the situation out more. I'm going to flag this and hope that it is also locked just out of fairness for everyone.
Posted on September 7, 2010 at 1:54 am
MountainBride
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We are all here for different reasons, many of them related to health and not laziness or stuffing our faces day in and day out. It hurts when people make mean assumptions about us when they aren't true.  


But ladies we do need to be careful we don't become just as judgmental as they are, I don't want them to look at our group and say we are judging them for being skinny. Or saying all skinny people are mean to their chubby counterparts. What many of them said was rude, but some of the ladies were nice and I want to acknowledge that. :-)






RoRo nailed this one.  


That said, I'm locking this topic for review.  


Posted on September 7, 2010 at 3:09 am

Sorry, you cannot post on this discussion. This discussion has been locked.

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