Divorce and Scandel

I have something I need to get out into the open...and seek any advice on how to handle this situation!


First off I am terrible sick with allergies that feel more like a head cold. Last night I got waken by a phone call from my yonger sis to tell me some horrible news. She informed me that my uncle lost his job...because he was misusing the company CC...to buy things like liquor for a woman he is cheating on my aunt with. This totally borke my heart and I don't even remember anything my sis said after that. They live 9 hours away from where the wedding is going to be and are very close to me. The also have a daughter who is my Matron of Honor...and here is more bad news.


My sister talked to my MTOH's brother and he said that she stole a large amount of money from him...this worries me about the wedding now because she and both of her kids are in the wedding. She told me that she had already ordered the FG's dress...but she has a history of lying to me...and now with what sounds like money troubles for her I don't know what to believe or do!


I am trying now to overwhelm myself with the thoughts of the situation...but I have to be prepared for the worse. If all this makes it impossible for 3 of my wedding party not be able to make the wedding what do I do? They are 9 hours away...and the wedding is 3 and 1/2 wks away!!!


Thanks!

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 2:51 am
txbride08
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(8) Comments

d1rtymart1n1
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d1rtymart1n1

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So r u more concernd with how this impacts only ur wedding day or how this impacts ur family (aunt who is being cheated on)?
Posted on August 19, 2008 at 3:04 am
txbride08
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txbride08

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Well both...but the wedding part had more to do with my MTOH...her whole life if something goes wrong she always has her parents to back her up finiacially...but now she won't. The sad part is I just talked to my aunt on Saturday and she said some stuff was going on but it would work itself out. (???)

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 3:07 am
d1rtymart1n1
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d1rtymart1n1

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Well clearly u can't fix anyone's life except ur own so focus on that. Not saying anything bad is in ur life but u kwim.

2ndly,I would just proceed as usual. U can't help that ur uncle is having an affair and frankly someone else's indiscretions are nobody's biz no matter who they are to u.

Lastly, what's the issue w/ ur cousin, aside from allegedly stealing $$$?
Posted on August 19, 2008 at 3:13 am
txbride08
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Her and her 2 kids are in my wedding...I dobut that she has her dress yet, but she told me last month that she ordered the FG dress. I don't know if I believe her though...she lies a lot...and if in the end when its too late and it comes out that the FG does not have a dress and she can't afford to come to the wedding I'm not sure what to do (if that happens).


She was suppose to plan by B-Party a couple of weeks ago and on the day of she said she could not make it because she was sick...and the hotel she had reserved weeks ago was not reserved...so in the end I planned my party with the help of my 2 friends that morning!

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 3:21 am
d1rtymart1n1
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you should probably talk to her directly and ask her straight up - and tell her if she cannot afford the dresses that you need to know - not to be in her biz, but so you can go to plan b - do you have a plan b?


again, whether or not she stole money is not anyone else's beezwax except her and the other person - but for your own sake, make sure you ask her straight up - let her know it's ok if she doesnt have the $$$...


you dont need anything else at your wedding except the license, the officiant and the 2 of you - all the other stuff, bridal party included, is not "needed" per se - we as a society have just grown accustomed to seeing that stuff at weddings, but really it's not needed.


dont feel like "oh what am i gonna do???" - it's only your wedding day - focus on your marriage after the vows and all the wedding stuff and just proceed without them - you wont be any less married with or without moh, or flowergirl, etc...


GL!

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 4:08 am
txbride08
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Good point Dirty! I don't have a plan B but I do have another cousin that will be in town for the wedding (they already bought the airline ticket) and they are tons of girls in my FI's family...the only reason I want a FG and RB are because I have already made the pillow and basket to fit the theme!


But I'll talk to her and I'm not gonna stress about it!

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 4:19 am
HolyMolyMatrimony
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08/31/2008
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Then ask her now whats going on with teh FG/RB...  You could just say I know your family has their hands full with some things right now and I wanted to make sure you didn't need anything/ everything for the wedding is taken care of, etc...  So "if" its not you have 3 weeks to get it taken care of, you know?


- HMM :)

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 4:22 am
d1rtymart1n1
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pillow and basket --- so what???  youre gonna stress yourself out finding a dress for your replacement flowergirl etc - over a pillow and basket???  dont do that to yourself!!!  and frankly, if i was the mom of the "replacement" i'd be highly insulted that our family relationship wasnt good enough to make the "first cut" and now that it's down to the wire, you're asking b/c you need to "fill a vacancy"... screw that! i'm either in from jump or not at all...


well, clearly, i'm not trying to change your mind abbout your wedding - youre gonna do what you want and you should...  BUT i would hate to see any woman stress out about something she cant really change - and it's not gonna mean anything after it's all said and done -


BUT that's just me - at this point - everyone can come, not come, my bm dresses can be pukey green - i dont "care" anymore b/c at the end of the night - i will be married and the little stuff and hours and days stressing and obsessing and worrying wont count for shit

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 4:27 am

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