Do you get annoyed?

So I went to lunch with my friend the other day and she asked me when we are planning on having kids. I told her we thought about trying 6 months after the wedding  depending if our house is done being remolded. I told her if it isn't then we will probably push it back further. Then she said " But Jamie your so young, why don't you wait and enjoy being married? You have the rest of your life to have kids" I was sooooo annoyed by this because we have been together for 6 years never have broke up and we have lived together for 2 years.


Does anyone else have this problem? Why do people say stuff like that? Are they just jealous or what?


I thought they would be happy for you not make you feel like you are immature.

Posted on November 15, 2009 at 3:05 pm
jamiepeve02
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09/19/2009
jamiepeve02

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(12) Comments

odessa33
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05/15/2009
odessa33

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well why did she ask you if she is so sure the RIGHT answer would be not having them for a long while? I actually get really annoyed by the question at all in casual situations. I just think it's a personal decision and therefore not the kind of thing you discuss openly with just anyone. It's not like asking about where you bought your shoes. And there are personal factors involved, such as health not everyone CAN have kids, so maybe it's not the best thing to ask outright over dinner. And of course whatever your answer is, they're just waiting to jump on you with judgments and what they think is the "right" thing for you to be doing. You are right, it is annoying!


just wait until you do have the kid and everywhere you go strangers will literally walk up to you and give you "parenting" tips or point out something they think you're doing wrong....


 

Posted on November 15, 2009 at 3:45 pm
gregsfuturewife
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gregsfuturewife

I get this all of the time. It is no secret that I just want to hurry up and get married so that we can start trying. I actually got this when we were first talking about getting married, now that was annoying!

Posted on November 15, 2009 at 4:04 pm
sarajean
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08/16/2009
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I get it to. And one of my worries is that when we do finally get pregnant and tell people, that their first reaction will be, "So soon?" I want everyone to be excited and happy ya know?

Posted on November 16, 2009 at 4:54 pm
jamiepeve02
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09/19/2009
jamiepeve02

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Yes!! I think I will feel weird telling her that I am one day. It will be uncomfortable

Posted on November 16, 2009 at 7:12 pm
SummerBride2009
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SummerBride2009

I feel that same way. I don't understand why people are like ENJOY being married blah blah. DH and I have been together for 5+ year. Living together for 2+ years. We have enjoyed our selves and we will have kids when we want to have kids :)

Posted on November 17, 2009 at 1:50 am
MizBiz
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07/17/2009
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ditto SummerBride!  We've been together for almost 7 years now, living together for 3 so we've had lots of enjoyment!  It just really irks me that people are saying these things to us but all of my friends who are not married and are getting pregnant by accident have everyone jumping for joy for them.  I don't get it.

Posted on November 17, 2009 at 1:59 am
LuckysBride
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LuckysBride

I get the same thing. People always say "just enjoy being married for a while"....Like we can't enjoy being married if I'm pregnant or when we have kids...It's annoying for sure.


What makes me really sad is that when FI and I do become pregnant (hopefully sooner rather than later) the first thing people will think will be "they should have waited...they're going to regret that they didnt' do this or that"....instead of being happy for us.

Posted on November 17, 2009 at 3:12 am
gregsfuturewife
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gregsfuturewife

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My best friend is single, and looooovvves to travel, but I have no urge to travel and frankly my favourite place in the world is my home. She will never ever understand that, and she is sooo concerned that I will regret not travelling. I am 100% sure that I am right where I want to be in life - without taking the time to travel.


 

Posted on November 18, 2009 at 3:55 pm
crystaljomo
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Yep people have said that exact same thing to us. And we've been together over 5 years and living together almost the whole time. It really does get annoying!

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 7:39 am
erindira
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DH's sister has said that to us - don't you guys want to enjoy being married for a while before having kids? She also questioned if we were financially ready for kids, but that's another story. It really bothers me when people ask these questions or make these statements - please don't assume your priorities are mine. She and her FI want to wait 5-7 years before they have kids, and that's great. They want to have that time as married folks, doing whatever they want to do together without kids. Great! But DH and I have done all of the major things we're planning on doing before kids and we're ready to be parents. Why is that hard for some people to understand? I don't get it!

Posted on November 20, 2009 at 4:37 am
TheBlueBride
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TheBlueBride

While I do find this annoying, I try to be sensitive to the fact that maybe they just know how hard it is to raise children and want to be sure we've had enough time to grow in our relationship.  I got this a ton because DH and I were trying on our wedding night and we became pregnant 5 months after the wedding.  I try to take those sorts of statements with love and concern but sometimes I just wanna say, "keep your comments to yourself."

Posted on November 21, 2009 at 3:49 am
jamiepeve02
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jamiepeve02

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jamiepeve02

Yes, and I would understand it a little more if she was married and has kids. But she is completely single with no kids.

Posted on November 22, 2009 at 4:00 pm

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