Family...ugh! *long sory*

Okay, so I'll start off with a little bit of what led up to this point...


I got engaged in April of 2009, we set our date for the following Feb. (*Feb 13,2010*) because it was the date of our first date a few years prior. Well after telling his family they told us that that date would not work, and we were fine changing our date.... or at least it didn't piss us off too much. They suggested that we change it to a date when there was no school (his mother and 2 sisters are teachers). After much deliberation we chose to do it on Dec. 18,2010. Well low and behold my 18 year old sister gets engaged a few months after we picked our date and started planning everything. Her FI and her had the nerve to ask me if I would mind giving my date up or having a joint wedding (*mind you I have had to share EVERYTHING with my sister since she was born, since we were so close in age*) I said no and thought that would be the end of that... I was wrong. She went crying to our mom who insisted that I give her my date because I'd "already changed it once before." and one more time wouldn't kill me. I was livid! before I knew it the entire family was on my case about how selfish I was for not wanting to do this for my little sister. I remained firm in the fact that I was NOT going to change my date for her, and that it was unfair for them to ask me to. Well they finally picked a date.... 3 weeks before my wedding date!!! So family coming from out of town had to choose between her wedding and mine, and since hers was first most of them chose hers. I was fine with that... or at least as fine as you can be in that situation, until my mother *who just might be the cheapest woman alive* suggested that instead of having a wedding cake of my own, we'd just get a 6 tier cake for my sister's wedding and we could freeze and use the top 3 tiers for my wedding later... ummmm, NO! after 2 months of my mother telling me that I  needed to change this, or that to make it easily shared between my sister's wedding and my own. My FI and I decided to change our date to Aug 6, 2011.


Well, my family is now telling me that they refuse to come to a wedding that is "not going to happen anyways" so they won't RSVP, and all they can do is tell me what I am doing wrong in all my planning. I wanted to have a small ceremony, but with my family that is just NEVER going to happen(*my father was the oldest of 9 and my mother was the 2nd of 10 kids who all have at least 4 children of their own*) So my first issue is the fact that I can't get proper seating arrangements done or figure out food costs for the reception until i get their RSVP's... which they refuse to send. And my second issue is that my family is mormon, and I do not wish to affiliate myself with ANY religion in particular, therefore I get nothing but comments of how if I was doing things the "right way" and getting married in the temple that they would love to come. Do I have the right to be upset about this?

Posted on April 25, 2011 at 7:10 am
plove5389
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08/06/2011
plove5389

plove5389

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(5) Comments

MekanaSass
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08/25/2010
MekanaSass

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MekanaSass

WOW! I'm sorry you have to deal with such crap during what is supposed to be the happiest time of your life. But sadly, it's soooo common. Weddings show the true colors of a lot of people and it's usually not pretty. But you have EVERY right to be upset. Everyone is being completely ridiculous and unreasonable.


I know you didn't ask for any suggestions but have you thought about maybe just going away to get married, just you and FI so you don't have to be bothered by everyone who has a stick up their butt? I guess it could cause a whole other set of problems depending on how they take it, but if they're being this difficult in the first place I'm not sure it would matter. At least this way it gets rid of a lot of stress and you two can have a nice CALM wedding day. Just a thought. Whatever you decide, I hope for your sanity and happiness things get better.

Posted on April 25, 2011 at 1:04 pm
rdamon
3
10/15/2011

rdamon

O M G


I have to agree with MekanaSass...I would seriusly look into a destination wedding! What about FI side of the family? Are they involved? What is their stance on the whole situation?

Posted on April 26, 2011 at 6:10 am
plove5389
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plove5389

plove5389

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plove5389

We've thought about eloping, but I guess i'm just a giant girl... I want the big white wedding, I've dreamed of it for years, and as for my FI's family they are a whole new can of crazy about the wedding. His mother won't attend because she doesn't approve of me, and has told the rest of the family that she'll cut them off if they attend. Its just been crazy trying to deal with everyone.


Thank you for all your comments though :)

Posted on April 26, 2011 at 6:30 pm
rdamon
3
10/15/2011

rdamon

I hope you get the wedding you deserve <3 and just remember that at the end of the day what matters is the man you are marrying :)


Good luck and keep us posted!

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 4:16 am
amanda6033
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05/15/2010
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amanda6033

holy crap. I dont believe they are being so nasty to you. Why does your sister deserve the great wedding and not you? You have EVERY right to be upset and pissed. I hope if works out for you. --hugs---

Posted on May 2, 2011 at 6:30 pm

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