Father and Step-Father walking me down the aisle

Hi there :)

My Mum and I have spoken of having my biological father and my step-father walking me down the aisle. It's not like my father was a bad father he just refused to pay child support and every time he was asked for some money for health reasons for myself it was like world war 3. My parents divorced when I was 5, and my step dad has been in my life since I was about 7 or 8, I'm now 18 and getting married in November this year. My step dad has always been an amazing father to me and my sister and never once complained about money when it came to anything for me. I see him as my father as much as my biological father but I'm so scared to break the news to my biological father as he isn't the nicest of people to break awkward and uncomfortable news to! Does anyone have any tips on how to break the news, and let me know wether or not its horrible to do this? Thank you all! :) Laura.
Posted on July 14, 2013 at 11:27 pm
LauraJahne18
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11/09/2013
LauraJahne18

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(7) Comments

MrsCaleYoung
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MrsCaleYoung

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First, welcome to Project Wedding and congratulations on your November wedding! That is a hard decision you will have to make! Have you ever considered having both of them walk you down the aisle or perhaps have your dad walk you halfway down the aisle to your stepfather or vice versa so that they both feel a part of your special day? I see you say you spoke to your mum about the issue and I am wondering if you only want your stepfather to walk you down the aisle?


My father suffers from mental illness, did not pay child support either and was missing out of my life at various moments, but I couldn't imagine anyone else walking me down the aisle except him. My father was having issues around the time of my wedding and my uncle who is my father's brother, said he would walk me down the aisle if my dad couldn't. Happily, my dad was able to do so! Always remember it is your day. I don't want you to make a decision that will have you with regrets or second guessing yourself! If it means that much to you to have your stepfather walk you down the aisle, incorporate your day in your wedding in another way and explain to him your decision or as I suggested, have both of them do it!


I wish you luck in your decision!

Posted on July 15, 2013 at 6:08 am
LauraJahne18
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LauraJahne18

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Thank you for your help :) and I'm very sorry to hear about your fathers illness. Yeah my Mum and I spoke of having them both walk me down because I couldn't imagine my dad not having a place at all and I also can't imagine my step dad not having a place as he's done way more for me than my biological father. I'm just worried what I'm doing is immoral and I also don't know how to break the news to my biological father as he gets so angry about even the littlest of things! :(
Posted on July 15, 2013 at 12:20 pm
nenyibabs
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04/20/2013
nenyibabs

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Im sorry, but I really dont agree. I feel that a dad is not someone whose sperm formed me, but someone who was there for me and did the 'daddy' things with me. Thats the person I want to walk me down the aisle.Its up to you though. In my case, my dad died when I was 4, and I was expected to let one of his brothers ie my uncles walk me down. I didnt feel any father vibe with anyone of them, so I walked myself down the aisle.

Posted on July 15, 2013 at 11:35 pm
MrsCaleYoung
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MrsCaleYoung

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MrsCaleYoung

Thanks about my dad and it's okay, I love him to pieces regardless! Go with your heart and the decision will come to you and I don't feel you are doing anything immoral. Let me know how it turns out dear!

Posted on July 16, 2013 at 2:31 am
LauraJahne18
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11/09/2013
LauraJahne18

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LauraJahne18

Thank you both :)
Posted on July 16, 2013 at 10:05 pm
1Corinthian13
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1Corinthian13

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1Corinthian13

My dad and I have a really close relationship and he did and still does a lot of daddy-things for me.


I was pretty surprised when I found out that he never assumed he would walk me down the aisle. Wehn my mom mentioned it in front of both of us he said: "I have not been asked to do so, you dont know, maybee she wants to go by her self or something else"


Of yourse I asked him to and he was happy I did but just to make the point: "Nobody has the RIGHT to walk you down, its a think you give them the right to do. From what you are writing I imagen your biological father to get REALLY upset if you choose to be walked down by your step-father, but to be honest, he shouldn´t be surprised. You dont do something immoral. If you give them both the chance to walk you down he should be thankful. I think he will not be thankfull at all and allmost as upset about it as he would be if he would not be walking you down.


 


SO if both thinks would upset him you are free to choose wich one you want to.


For me the person who gives you away was protecting you in your life, carring for you, helping you and loving you and he gives you away and gives all these responsibilitys to your husband and tells him to protect you,care for you,help you and love you. To me thats what it meens. And nobody who was not triing to do so has a RIGHT to walk somebody down.


Feel Free :)


I haope you will have a beautiful wedding

Posted on July 16, 2013 at 11:06 pm
LauraJahne18
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LauraJahne18

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Aww that's wonderful advice :) thank you :) and I love the Bible verse 1 Corinthians 13 :D
Posted on July 16, 2013 at 11:31 pm

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