i would suggest that maybe your FI's father exit alone....i don't think he should walk with the MOH...perhaps she could walk alone too...to kind of distinguish themselves as a special part of the wedding party...
Hmmm, my situation might be a little different, but my mother is my matron of honor. FI's BM is his brother, so it will be one of those situations where my mother is escorted out of the church by a much younger man, but I think it's kinda cute. It's especially cute since the BM is wearing his military uniform. Maybe it's a little different, but I still think it's cute to have your FI's father escort your MOH. As for the head table, we're still considering our options on that one. Option 1- Just have a sweetheart table for you and your FI and have the bridal party sit with their significant others at normal guest tables. Option 2 - Have two reserved tables for each set of parents to "host" a table, and have your FI's father join his table after dinner and toasting. Option 3 - Sit FI's parents together at the head table and do something to distinguish your parents table that they are "hosting." Hmmm...I'll let you know of any other ideas if more come to mind.
I agree with Jackie. If you have any concerns about it I would have them walk seperately. Actually, lots of people are now having everyone walk in serperately. So you could either do just the BM & MOH or the whole wedding party. The head table is a little tricky. Erindira's ideas are great...I can't really think of any others. Good Luck!
My FIs dad is his best man. But since we are having a small BP, each person is walking down the aisle by him/herself.
Also, we are having all the spouses of the wedding party at our head table. My mom is not in the wedding but she is seated at our table. It works out well for us. My FIs mom and FIL will be there with us too. 12 people in all.
To go along with the head table dilemma, have you thought of going with just a sweetheart table and having your wedding party maybe sit in designated seats closer to the sweetheart table with their spouses or S.O.'s that way your FI's dad can still be at the "parents table" but also be with the wedding party?
The FIL could sit with the groom's mother and not at the bride/groom table. Also, you could have the best man up at the altar already and have the MOH walk up by herself.
Is there a FMIL? If so I would suggest maybe when he starts to exit he first stops and your FMIL stands up and exits with him.... If not them I would suggest maybe he exits by himself.... As for the head table I would just have him sit at the "parents" table.... He doesn't really need to be at the head table....
Would your FFIL want to give a toast, sit at the head table, etc.? I don't know what his reaction would be, but if I were asked to be my child's co-BM/MOH and then all official BM/MOH duties, other than standing together at the ceremony, would be given to the other BM/MOH, I think I'd feel left out. Would the brother completely stand in for him in every way, like your FFIL wouldn't be in photos with the bridesmaids and groomsmen? Maybe I'd read too much into it, but I think I'd feel like I was an embarrassment to my child and they didn't want someone older than the rest of their party in the pics, at the head table, etc. Like I was given this honor but a younger version was brought in to make everything look good... I don't know, but that's my first reaction. Perhaps you can have co-BM and still have your FFIL in the photos and give a toast, but let him sit with his wife at a parents table instead of at the head table.
wherzheather, I hope I wasn't too harsh, but I wanted to give you my perspective. It's difficult knowing how to handle this situation in a way that will make everyone happy. On the one hand, you want to include someone close to you, but on the other hand, having someone from a different generation in your bridal party can be difficult. I always thought my BMs would be a collection of girlfriends since traditionally our bridal parties are close to our age and almost always siblings, cousins, and close friends. It's a balancing act to figure out what will make your older bridal party member happy and comfortable but will still ensure your vision of your big day is realized. Right now we're trying to find a dress for my mom that will blend well with the girls' dresses but will also be age appropriate. Most dresses we're finding will either work well with the bm dresses but make my mom feel like she's trying to look younger or they're more "age appropriate" but my mom feels as though she stands in too much contrast to the girls. I would suggest having your FI talk to his father and see how comfortable he feels with every aspect of his role. I'm sure you'll be able to find a solution that everyone will be happy about and make the day enjoyable for all. Good luck!
DH did the same thing having his dad be the Best Man- Instead of having him walk with my 21 year old sister (she walked alone, down the "runway" as shetermed it), we had him escort MIL down the isle (my cousin walked my mom down) and then once MIL was seated, he stood at the front with DH :) it worked out very nicely to have both moms come out right before the rest of the bridal party.
At the reception we had just his dad at the head table and his mom was seated with the rest of DHs famiy, but we included an extra seat at that table for FIL to sit at if he chose to join her. He sat with us at the beginning for the toasts and then ate at MILs table. after that everyone was up and about :)