For those having out of towners…


 


For your rehearsal dinner are you inviting them all?  I keep reading that you are supposed to invite the out of town guests to the rehearsal, but this would be so many people it would be like a 2nd reception! 



If not, are you doing any social type event prior to the wedding?


 


I am having trouble with this because if we invite them all to the rehearsal dinner that is going to be A LOT of people, however I feel like we should do SOMETHING since they are spending so much and taking the time to fly here for a whole weekend.  So I was thinking maybe catering in food to the hotel for the rehearsal dinner or possibly having a social hour in the hotel lobby/bar after we get back from the rehearsal. 


 


Any other ideas?


 


 



 

Posted on July 7, 2008 at 3:47 am
kells76
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(18) Comments

aprilxlirpa
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12/27/2008
aprilxlirpa

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We are planning on inviting the OOT for the rehersal. We were planning on inviting them even before his parents offered to pay for the dinner. Its tough for us where we're getting married 2 days after x-mas, we figure its running into people's holiday plans, and where a lot of his family is flying from the west coast to the east coast we thought it would be a good way to get in some extra time with them.


Maybe you can quietly invite some of the oot, but not all of them? It does add up quickly


Maybe do a casual BBQ or an even less casual pizza night?? You still get time together and not a broken bank account?

Posted on July 7, 2008 at 3:53 am
d1rtymart1n1
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d1rtymart1n1

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we're inviting all our oot guests to our rd also...and having a day-after brunch for all bp and oot again...


meet & greet sounds cool after your rd =)  how much are you willing to spend for the bar tab???  if there are alot of drinkers - might as well invite them to rd - could end up costing the same kwim??  =)


 

Posted on July 7, 2008 at 3:58 am
jackieg
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i'm hoping that whatever we end up doing will be small....since the rehearsal is on Thursday nite, and most of Andrew's family will be driving to the wedding on Friday....i'm happy with that...i wanted it to be more intimate...and not have a duplicate of the reception...we still haven't worked out the details yet with Andrew's parents....

Posted on July 7, 2008 at 4:24 am
Sarahinwonderland
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10/17/2009
Sarahinwonderland

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I was thinking that it would be nice to have a BBQ for the rehearsal dinner, that way it will be easy and relaxed and not so formal. Everyone can eat when they want and leave or stay however long.

Posted on July 7, 2008 at 4:28 am
ialagic
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ialagic

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i have the same issue - sonoma wedding with a lot of east coast guests. we will likely have a cocktail hour the night before wedding day , and a brunch after. i think we've decided to forgo the formal rehearsal dinner just for that reason ( plus we're not that formal ) though good point on the budget d1rty, I didnt really think of that . My friends are all alcoholics :)

Posted on July 7, 2008 at 4:37 am
pinkgerbers
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07/26/2008
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We are not inviting all OOT guests and no one seemed to mind.  We are having an open house cocktail hour for OOT guests from 4-6 the day before the wedding.  We got his brother to host it.  Then rehearsal aty 6:30, dinner, and then anyone who wants can meet usout at the bars to hang out.  (I put a bridesman in charge of corralling the troops so I can leave when I want.)  My friend did the cocktail hour and then people left for the rehearsal dinner at hers and I did not hear a single comment.


 


We are doing a no-host brunch the day after as well.  No problems.

Posted on July 7, 2008 at 5:27 am
sorrill15
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For our out of towners we are having a breakfast the following morning after the wedding. We'll be inviting those we really wish to attend the RD, but not every out of town guest will be invited to that.

Posted on July 7, 2008 at 5:29 am
TurningGreene
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07/19/2008
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This post has been removed at the request of the poster.
Posted on July 7, 2008 at 5:41 am
ehyih
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My wedding is saturday noon and most of the OOT guests won't arrive till Friday night or even Saturday morning. My rehearsal will probably be Thursday, so I doubt any of them will come.  However I'd love to invite those who are there, just because I feel bad for them to fly in and having to wait around for the wedding to come.


I only have about 10 OOT guests tho. Wouldn't be a huge difference if they all showed up at rehearsal.

Posted on July 7, 2008 at 5:56 am
WMforever
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i was an ootowner and they didnt do anything for us! i would have been happy with a little pizza party or bbq! i was offended. (i know i know it's not required...but come on we spent so much on airfare and hotels etc).


i really like the idea of having a bbq or pizza party. my friend had it at the community center of her condo complex. it was affordable and great!

Posted on July 7, 2008 at 6:26 am
abattyref
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There was no way we could invite all of our OOT guests to the rehearsal, over 80% of the guests were OOT! It really would have been another reception. We really didn't have the money to host something special for the OOT guests and no one seemed to mind. One side of my family had rented a huge house for a week and they hosted a big BBQ on the day after the wedding. They encouraged DH and me to invite any of our friends who were still in town. That seemed to serve as an OOT BBQ.


Don't feel like you're required to do something special for your OOT guests. Ideally, they're in town for your wedding, and that's all. I've been to many weddings as an OOT guest and I've never been invited to a separate OOT guest function. Well, maybe had one and I just wasn't invited... ;-)

Posted on July 7, 2008 at 7:18 am
WMforever
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hmm if 80% is OOT then i understand that having them at the RD would not be feasible. if its a smaller percentage, then try to include them in that or at least a morning after brunch at someones house. i know as an ootowner, i would have totally appreciated that. it just gives you something to do with other wedding guests when normally they would have spent the time with you.

Posted on July 7, 2008 at 7:50 am
caribear
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05/18/2008
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Our wedding was on a Sunday, rehearsal was on Thursday.  My OOTs were mainly my family.  A few OOTs were invited to the rehearsal dinner only because they were here early for other things (it was only 2 guests).  However, I did plan a no-host dinner the Saturday night before to spend with all of our OOTs and we had a blast.  It worked out perfect.  We even ended up with extra cash from it!  Don't ask me how but after everybody put in what they thought they owed there was about $70 too much. :)  No one would take any money back.  DH and I were happy.


The morning after the wedding we hosted a brunch in one of the suites at the hotel.  They went well too.


Also, my mom went to a wedding as an OOT and was not invited to the rehearsal dinner but they did all meet up at a bar afterward.  She liked that idea and was not offended at all. 

Posted on July 7, 2008 at 8:08 am
MissQnomore
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since our rehearsal is friday night and most OOT are coming in that night, i don't think we're inviting them unless they're super close or godmothers/godfathers, etc.  we are going the route of having a brunch/opening gift celebration the day after the wedding.  i don't think anyone will be offended at not being at the RD since about 35% of the wedding is OOT.

Posted on July 7, 2008 at 8:10 am
ErinG
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Our wedding is on a Sunday and our rehearsal is on Friday afteroon, so the Saturday before the wedding we're having a very casual buffet and drinks at a local brewery for out of towners and the wedding party.  My mom's has a big family (7 siblings) spread out across the country, so really she just wants to see them all before the wedding. 

Posted on July 7, 2008 at 11:41 am
MissQnomore
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wow Erin!  I didn't know ruby hill had wedding on sundays!  (i'm having mine there too)

Posted on July 7, 2008 at 11:43 am
ErinG
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Yay ruby hill - it's so pretty there!   Yup, they have some Sunday weddings....Kevin and I wanted to get married in September and by the time we contacted them last October all the Saturdays were booked - so Sunday it is!

Posted on July 7, 2008 at 11:50 am
d1rtymart1n1
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MissQ---> did you guys find an apprpriate place for your rd - one that wasnt too far from fremont??

Posted on July 7, 2008 at 11:55 am

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