Getting legally married before the wedding? I have questions!!

My fiance seems very set in his idea that we should get legally married before the wedding.  We've been having a hard time finding an officiant and he swears it will make things easier since that way anyone can perform the ceremony (is that even true?)  He also thinks it will be cheaper to find someone to perform the ceremony if we are already legally married.  I'm not really informed on this part of wedding planning, and I'm having such a hard time finding someone....he wants it to be my day, so he's let me choose EVERYTHING, but this is just so hard.  He get's out of helping by telling me it's my day...lol.  Anyway, I'm just wondering if it would be easier to get married before the ceremony, and if it's true that we might be able to find someone for cheaper if we don't need the licence or them to sign anything...I'm very confused and google just confuses me more! We are having our wedding in March....if that even changes anything...haha.

Posted on January 19, 2013 at 5:03 pm
FutureMrsRomero
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03/22/2013
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FutureMrsRomero

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(9) Comments

August27bride
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08/27/2010
August27bride

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I have heard of civil ceremonies before the wedding, but that's in European countries. As for the officiant fee being cheaper if you're all ready married, I would have to stay that's not true. All the officiant does is sign it and it gets mailed to your county clerk who processes it. Anything I paid to my church was a donation. Maybe he feels that if you're already married then it won't be so nerve wracking on the actual ceremony day when you have a couple hundred people watching you. Have you maybe considered asking a close family member or friend to get ordained ( you can be ordained online for a small fee) and they can perform the ceremony?
Posted on January 19, 2013 at 6:17 pm
FutureMrsRomero
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03/22/2013
FutureMrsRomero

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Our wedding is going to be really small.  We don't have many really close people in our life, and they are on our wedding party.  I didn't think it was true, but he was pretty set on his idea lol.  We aren't getting married in a church, and we aren't members of any church so I don't think we could find an officiant for just a donation.  My fiance is also dead set on having a man officiate (I don't even know why, he just says he see's a man doing it) which limits my options, since in LA most of the affordable people I can find are women.  We're on a tight budget and $400 for an officiant just isn't going to happen...I've only had three months to plan this wedding and it's starting to pile up. D:

Posted on January 19, 2013 at 6:34 pm
August27bride
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August27bride

August27bride

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August27bride

This is going to sound crazy and I dont even know if it's possible but have you looked on Craigslist ?
Posted on January 19, 2013 at 6:38 pm
FutureMrsRomero
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03/22/2013
FutureMrsRomero

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I got my photographer on craigslist but I didn't even think of that for officiants! I'll try it, thankyou!

Posted on January 19, 2013 at 7:32 pm
JoannaB123
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If you are already legally married, couldn't anyone officiate at your wedding?  Just wondering.

Posted on January 20, 2013 at 3:14 am
alyciamarlene
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07/23/2011
alyciamarlene

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alyciamarlene

If you are already legally married then yes, anyone can officiate at your wedding because there will be no paper signing or anything like that because it will all be done (if you live in a country where you don't need to have a civil ceremony prior to your wedding).


I also don't believe it would be cheaper to have the civil ceremony first, as the officiant is charging for time and travel which do not change whether you are already married or not. They are only saving on paperwork which is mostly just filling out and mailing a form (as far as I know!).


I am sending good vibes your way that you can find someone who meets your FI's criteria and your price range! Deep breaths sweetie, you are a rockstar for planning a wedding in three months!

Posted on January 20, 2013 at 3:20 am
krosa
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09/16/2012
krosa

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if you are legally married in a courthouse before the ceremony, then the ceremony is for the experience and having family around.  it doesnt need to be legal.  if you have a close friend that is male (since your fi needs a man) have them officate at the wedding.  you can look up online and find the words spoken at most modern weddings.  that can be printed out and put into a notebook for your friend to read from.  they wouldnt have to be ordained online unless you wanted them to be.  this essientally would be a vow renewal.  which are never actually "legal" they are more of a public committment.  if you cant seem to find anyone to legally marry you, then i would say this is a good option.  

Posted on January 20, 2013 at 7:16 am
ourwed.
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09/02/2013
ourwed.

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ourwed.

what about someone being ordered online. Were thinking about going this way. we're from different religions(not very religious) we are legally by the court nothing fancy, for the vow renewal we might try an non denominational "person" to marry us, this can be in any venue

Posted on January 20, 2013 at 7:30 am
IdoAgain20years
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IdoAgain20years

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IdoAgain20years

I have been ordained and am able to marry people in the St. of NH, but not all staes recognize this. Also you are not ordained online. . . You simply request the ordination online and get your cert via Snail Mail.


Also if you get married at the Courthouse it is usually cheaper and then YES anyone can preform the service.


I wish you the best!


 

Posted on January 20, 2013 at 7:39 am

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