Gift Giving Rules for Men

 I have a friend who is struggling with some disastrous gifts from her boyfriend over the holidays and now her birthday as well. We were laughing about how clueless men can be with this stuff. I came up with a couple of rules that all men need to learn about giving their girlfriend or wife presents. Feel free to add to these or disagree with any...then share with your husband so he can learn them! LOL


1. Do not tell the girl she has a big surprise coming and do not tell her how great the gift will be......men get really excited when they've put time, thought, and effort into a gift and they can't wait to give it to you. So sometimes in that excitement they talk up the surprise/gift. The only thing this does is ruin part of the surprise and make you think of all these amazing things it could be, inevitably leading to disappointment when you get the gift. Even if it's a good gift, it will be lessened by them doing this


2. Truly think about what SHE wants, not what you would want....to women this seems obvious, but it's such a common mistake men make. When they are trying to think of something to get her they think "what would I like most to be given if I was her?" and then they give her the female equivalent of that. Sometimes the couple might be similar enough with similar interests and the guy will get lucky that this will work. But usually men and women are different (thank goodness!) and therefore want different things. This results in a gift that seems to the woman to really be for himself and not her. Men need to STOP and really think about what SHE wants...not what he would want if he was her


3. Listen to her hints and then actually implement them......Women do not expect men to magically read their minds....ok some do, but not all...we will give fairly clear hints about gift ideas or even specific things we would want as a gift. This rule has 2 parts because first the man must actually HEAR what she has said and recognize it as a hint. The second part is to actually go out and get that for her. Some men feel like if they follow her hint too closely it's not spontaneous or romantic because she'll be expecting it. We gave the hint for a reason! And trust me, you actually hearing it and getting it for us is surprise enough! Be happy she's throwing you a bone by letting you know just what will make her happiest so you don't have to guess.


 


Those are the main rules I've come up with that would have saved 90% of the relationship gift disasters I've witnessed (and received myself) Feel free to add on to these or discuss why you think they are accurate or totally wrong. Share your ridiculous gift story!

Posted on January 4, 2010 at 1:44 pm
odessa33
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(8) Comments

wildfirej29
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09/18/2009
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Hahaha excellent!  I've gotten electronics from my husband every X Mas...it's really thoughtful and sweet though bc they're things he knows I can use or that I need.  But sometimes maybe a little more romantic would be nice.  :)

Posted on January 5, 2010 at 4:09 pm
ambekirt
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01/02/2010
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Agreed wildfire

Posted on January 6, 2010 at 4:54 am
meanyprice
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My DH is very practical with gift giving instead of being romantic.  I've just learned to deal with it.  For Christmas I got a radar detector (I have gotten a couple of tickets recently), for my birthday, I got a new bathroom scale (something I needed because I'm pregnant).  Both are very practical and something I'll use, but something a little more romantic would have been nice.

Posted on January 7, 2010 at 2:20 am
odessa33
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yeah I think all those practical gadget gifts that are so common coming from men are a result of them not following rule #2...men love gadgets like that so they assume women will too...... of course we're all grateful for anything they are thoughtful enough to give us. I actually like some practical gifts, like the tom tom I just got since I'm always getting lost, cant wait to use it

Posted on January 7, 2010 at 4:57 am
Lilivati
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haha I love gadgets actually XD


That said...my fiance is good with gifts.  He is actually really good at finding things that the recipient would really want and are really unique to that person.  This Christmas, for example, he got me a rare book about ice ages from 1903, and a not-so-rare but awesome book from 1973 on the Soviet space threat (I am a HUGE space history nerd).  Would any other girl out there have liked this?  Not so many.  But I was thrilled!


For my birthday he got me a practical gift- an awesome computer case I'd been eyeing for some time.  And he got me the opaque side panel you have to purchase separately so it wouldn't look like a teenaged boy's case, which made me extra-happy lol.

Posted on January 7, 2010 at 3:06 pm
Yosemitebride
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09/19/2009
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We don't give each other material things. Instead, we splurge on tickets to a big theater production, concerts, plays, dance shows, etc. We love going to stuff like that but rarely have the time or $$ to do it, so these occasions always give us excuses. We try to surprise each other with what the event will be.

Posted on July 13, 2010 at 12:36 pm
pinkgerbers
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07/26/2008
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My husband is not very good at gift giving.  He puts a lot of throught into it, and it is so close each time, but never quite right.  That said, I did lay down some rules that help me to be happier.


Anniversary - We don't buy things.  We both just had our birthdays, so it would be hard at times.  We go off of the list (1st- clock 2nd-China) and buy something together that fits the theme.  We also do something special together that day.


 


Valentine's Day - We do gifts, but they CANNOT be practical.  This actually makes the job alot easier for him than me.  There are only so many non-practical things to get a guy.


 


That only leaves Christmas and my birthdays to get through.

Posted on July 13, 2010 at 5:15 pm
BlissfulKate
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I have two additions:


4) Always take the time to gift wrap - whether you do it yourself or you have someone do it for you.


5) Always get a card - even if it is a simple one.

Posted on July 14, 2010 at 5:05 am

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