"Good battle" = good marriage?

Saw this quote today from Ann Landers:


"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest--never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partnership."


Do you agree?  Does how a couple fights help define the equality of their partnership?

Posted on November 17, 2009 at 9:46 am
Lorienne
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(5) Comments

xxashleyxx007
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I think so to an extent. If one partner doesn't listen to the other and can't empathise and put themselves in their shoes to see their point of view, then it's not a very healthy relationship in my opinion. I think that to survive you must depend on each other enough to compromise on things you might not agree on and move forward.

Posted on November 17, 2009 at 9:55 am
moonlitheart
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I definitely think there's truth to this. I'm in school to be a marriage/family counselor, so I've learned a lot of different theories that have to do with what makes a healthy marriage. One of the big things is that you should learn how to fight the current battle and stop bringing up every battle the two of you have ever had whenever you fight. That just shows you're not resolving anything because you're still hung up on old fights. Couples should also avoid using the words, "You always..." or "You never..." when fighting. And of course, you shouldn't make deliberate digs at your partner that you don't really mean just because you're mad. I think that's a big one because part of being in a good relationship is sharing your feelings with each other, so if you use your partner's feelings and insecurities against them when you fight, then they might be uncomfortable sharing with you in the future.


Sorry for the long response, I like this topic. :)

Posted on November 17, 2009 at 9:56 am
sly9377
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I agree with moonlit 100%! You have to make sure you fight about the current and not bring up the past.


Great advice all around moonlit!

Posted on November 17, 2009 at 10:11 am
PSA
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We are getting to this stage, we are still a young couple...

Posted on November 17, 2009 at 10:41 am
Mrs.Delalis
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I totally agree with moonlit. If you're fighting it shouldn't be petty and filled with name calling and drudging up past events. That's not constructive and doesn't help to mend a current situation.

Posted on November 17, 2009 at 10:43 am

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