Groomzilla Getting On My Nerves Again!

I wish my fiance was like the other guys, less involved and asked no questions. Really! He's a groomzilla and always have an opinion. Well he's complaining about when we go to meet vendors they always seem to talk to me and not him and also barely make eye contact with him. One reason, I was the one who contacted the vendor so we have a relationship. Last night we discussed the planner we met with on Monday and I mentioned that I'm not paying $200-300 for a bouquet and carnations or fake(real touch) flowers will be okay. The planner face dropped when I mentioned me having a carnation bouquet. She thought that was less upscale?


Well Groomzilla goes on and ask what am I doing about the bm bouquet lastnight. I said no real flowers and maybe not a bouquet. I really want to do feather pomanders or maybe they can carry a feather fan. I did not mention my real idea because I know he would have a b**** fit! So, I said I'm not sure. He then goes on a rant about this is his wedding too and he does not want the bm carrying a single rose bouqut and he also gets a say in what they carry. Are you kidding me? Plus I told him I wanted him and the guys to wear all black; I thought that would look classic and upscale. No, he wants them to wear purple vest and white shirts. So I said whatever. I told him the gm is his job and the bm is mine!  You can not tell me what they should wear, he is over stepping his groom bounds. So I'm not trying to be secretive but we have been arguing alot and I'm thinking with his " so want to be involved self" that I might need to keep my ideas to myself and just not tell him the truth. I feel like this wedding is two brides and not one!

Posted on April 8, 2010 at 3:21 am
mahoganieyes
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mahoganieyes

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(16) Comments

Mau
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05/22/2010
Mau

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But if you cant talk about this wedding, how the heck are you going to solve problems in the future???


You need to be able to confront him, be open and tell him how you feel,  shutting him out and just wait for him to discover at the wedding is going to be a rocky start to your marriage life.


 


Sit down, brew some coffee, grab a nice cake and bun, and solve this problem. No one can argue over good cake.


 


I do understand your are frustrated, but a wedding is about two people and you need to solve this.


 

Posted on April 8, 2010 at 5:36 am
demyful
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Yes it is his wedding too and he should be involved in the decision making.


Okay, now that I got that out of the way, girl, he needs to sit his groomzilla butt down somewhere lol...


Okay seriously, I can see both of your points. He wants to make sure that the wedding reflects him as well as you, but as brides we tend to want to take charge and have control over the process. I also feel like alot of vendors take direction from the bride because in many cases the bride is the first to contact them and often the one to follow up.


I think as long as you too are on the same page, concerning the big picture you'll be alright. Maybe it would help if he had clear tasks that he was in charge of, that way he will feel like  his voice is being  heard to.


And btw I don't even know what FI plans to wear. He keeps saying that he had no say in picking out my dress, so I should have no say in suit lol..

Posted on April 8, 2010 at 6:44 am
Melly1588
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01/23/2010
Melly1588

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Melly1588

 


"I wish my fiance was like the other guys, less involved and asked no questions. Really! He's a groomzilla and always have an opinion."

Omgosh girl I feel like I wrote this vent! lol....DH was the EXACT same way! I understand your frustrations! We, too were fighting like crazy before the wedding! Just let him know his duties! I know it's terrible but I honestly had to keep somethings to myself because I just didn't want to deal with the drama anymore!! I wish I knew better advice to give you but we went through the same thing.


Just try to remember the real reason for this wedding, don't turn ON each other, but turn TO each other! I can say though, that things will get better after the wedding! No more crazy groomzilla and no more arguing! GL! :)

Posted on April 8, 2010 at 7:04 am
mahoganieyes
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mahoganieyes

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@Mau, we argue all the time but at the end of the day we work it out. This wedding on the other hand is like a never ending argument. I try to share things with him, what does he do? Nothing! I email him stuff  and ask for his advice, he claims he has no time at work and when he's home, oh he forgot. He talks about things I mentioned awhile ago, where was he? And now he brings it up like I never told him nothing. He wants to be involved but he's not fully committed with the planning and wants to give out his ideas and I've been planning this for over the past year.


@demyful, he does have designated things. He wanted free run of the rehearsal dinner. I tried to give him ideas on cost $$$ for the dinner, no he wants this, that and all. Well I said lets do a cake with 2 or 3 flavors, he wants only one flavor, white cake with white icing. Do you mean buttercream, babe? We need a flavor and not something so plain.


@Melly1588, we even started arguing with the planner around about one of his ideas. He's a taurus and I' m a gemini! I know to start a marriage with wedding secrets is not good, but to keep my sanity, blood pressure(I am borderline hypertension) low, I have to refrain from sharing things or compromise on my ideas. I understand that everything I want will not happend, and yes he should have his ideas incorporated too. But he talks a big talk so how often is he on The Knot, Project Wedding or Wedding Channel searching and getting advice?


 


 


Thank you ladies! I really needed to get this off my chest!


 


 


 

Posted on April 8, 2010 at 7:39 am
demyful
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Lol Mahognie, girl get it off your chest. Like I said, I can totally see where you are coming from =)

Posted on April 8, 2010 at 8:47 am
Melly1588
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Melly1588

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I don't see it as "keeping a secret" it's nothing major that will affect your relationship. It's just a few small wedding details. :)

Posted on April 8, 2010 at 9:53 am
mahoganieyes
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mahoganieyes

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LOL....thank you Melly!

Posted on April 8, 2010 at 2:36 pm
Mau
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Sorry to say but if you start keeping on detial out of a person life, then it is easy to start keeping more and more  things out of that persons life.


 


And love isnt about arguing, my guy and I seldom argue, instead we take a breather, clear our minds and come back and have a sane discussion.

Posted on April 8, 2010 at 8:35 pm
HeidiDeann
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05/15/2010
HeidiDeann

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C'mon girls...this is the VENT VAULT! Not the Dr. Phil vault!


Get it out girl!

Posted on April 8, 2010 at 9:03 pm
LauraSweet
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06/12/2010
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LOL @ HeidiDeann!


I agree.  I can relate.  It's frustrating.  It's not a relationship red flag.  We all need to vent sometimes, and that's why we have the Vent Vault.

Posted on April 9, 2010 at 2:39 am
miss_em2010
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02/20/2010
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hahaha heididean!!! sooo true!


and ditto laura.

Posted on April 9, 2010 at 3:04 am
ChancesAre
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ChancesAre

Mau - your english has dramatically improved ...that's wonderful that you are clearly "speaking" a lot better than two days ago...the power of PW!

Posted on April 9, 2010 at 3:15 am
demyful
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LOL Heidi...


I think Maghnonie knows I didn't mean anything by my post. :)

Posted on April 9, 2010 at 4:47 am
mahoganieyes
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mahoganieyes

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Luckily I decided to pull this post back up? :-) You girls are crazy and funny! No I'm not offended by your comments. This is Vent Vault and I needed to vent!

Posted on April 9, 2010 at 4:35 pm
akbridehi
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07/05/2011
akbridehi

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Ha ha ha, this thread cracks me up!  I'm sorry you are dealing with a groomzilla Mahoganie!  That is no fun, guys don't dream of weddings like girls do, if they want to actively be involved, they need to ACTIVELY be involved all the time!  Shoot...


And the rest of the thread is pretty awesome too, made me laugh!

Posted on April 9, 2010 at 5:18 pm
mahoganieyes
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mahoganieyes

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akbridehi- I had to laugh myself! What you said is so true about the planning.

Posted on April 9, 2010 at 6:27 pm

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