Hardest adjustment first few months of marriage......

Curious.... what was the hardest adjustment you went through the first few months of being married????? moving in together? changing name? not being a bride to be anymore? no more wedding planning? buying a house? 


Love to hear all the different things we all go through

Posted on July 18, 2012 at 4:23 am
SpringBride2011
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SpringBride2011
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SpringBride2011

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For me I really think it was no longer have the huge project of planning a wedding.... On our honeymoon I actually had periods of time I would just fall asleep because I didn't know what to think about anymore, and acutally bored myself to sleep...... 


I've lived with DH for 4 years before we got married, so that wasn't an adjustment at all. 

Posted on July 18, 2012 at 4:28 am
lpruett05
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07/11/2012
lpruett05

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I'd have to say mine was putting our money together. We lived together and we're both pretty laid back. I make more than him and I came in with more money but also more debt. It took me a while but I've gotten to the point where I see money as ours and not mine or his. I have an awesome budget spreadsheet that I use so we are paying off debt like crazy! After our AHR we'll be on the road to paying off a bunch. I also ask him and he never cares lol Once our CC are paid off we're saving for the HONEYMOON! I'm in the process of changing my name but I've already made peace with that b/c I was seriously debating keeping my name but NOW that we're married I want his so we'll seem like a family forealsies!

Posted on July 18, 2012 at 5:18 am
chrissyrenaegray
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03/10/2012
chrissyrenaegray

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It was moving in together for me; I had always lived by myself, with family, or in a roommate situation in college, but never with a person I was romantically involved with.  So sharing a bed with someone, making a home, splitting chores, finding ways for him to help me, were all a bit of a challenge.  We've kind of established our routines now, and things are going very well.

Posted on July 18, 2012 at 5:38 am
MrsCaleYoung
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We only been married a little over two weeks, so I don't have any real input yet. We lived together a year before we got married, and I am happy we did or that would have been my issue.  It took about four to five months for us to get use to living with one another. Right now we are recovering from a minimal amount of debt from the wedding and he is having a time with that. We go to the Ohio Jazz Festival every year, that is our tradition and we won't be able to go this year and he is really bummed out about that. I did everything I could to manage it so we could go, but I told him we just can't make it this year. Looks like we won't be able to go to Chicago either in September for my birthday and he is bummed about that as well. We have to get our affairs back in order before we can do our weekend getaways and attending concerts again. Besides that, so far everything is going great and I hope for the most part it continues!

Posted on July 18, 2012 at 6:59 am
rbh1000
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DH and I had lived together for years before we got married but after we got married we merged all of our money. That has been difficult especially with us buying a house it was weird for him to comment on every penny i spend! But we have gotten through it and next week we are closing on my dream home!

Posted on July 18, 2012 at 12:23 pm
msdl
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05/28/2011
msdl

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Ditto some of you -- the merging of money :-) I am very conservative and like my budgets, spreadsheets and savings goals. DH is more laid-back, so I felt like I was being strict or a fun-sucker when I tried to keep things in line. Thankfully, he came around really quick and it was only tough for the first couple months.


Surprisingly, even though we hadn't lived together before we got married, that wasn't as hard of an adjustment as I thought it would be. It probably helps that we had to move across the country right after the wedding, and all we have here is each other!

Posted on July 18, 2012 at 12:57 pm
Kristen_Tater
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My DH and I lived together for years before the wedding.... so that wasn't an adjustment for us. I would say the hardest thing was realizing that WE were a family... and we weren't a part of his family or my family... that we are our own family now. And I think the first few disagreements after your married seem harder.... I don't know how to explain they were just different then disagreements before we were married.

Posted on July 25, 2012 at 3:15 am
lpruett05
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lpruett05

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Oh Kristen I love how you put that. Yeah I'm still kind of struggling with the idea that we're our own family now. I had a hard time deciding to change my name or not. I knew I would but I wanted to want to change my name. After we got married I love that I am. I think what made me realize that we're our own family is that we only share a last name with his dad side. I love his dad side more. His mom side is not like my family at all so it made it hard to be associated with them by name but I'm not in that way. His sister (her and I have a weird relationship. I was going to say love/hate but I'm pretty sure we don't love each other lol we (I) just try to get along and avoid any disputes and I try not to get mad when she clearly tries to leave me out of everything family related when I AM family now and she likes to starts stuff b/c I truly believe she is unhappy with her life) His sister doesn't have the same last name anymore b/c she is married. So I feel we are more separate from his and my family and are more of our own... I REALLY thought about huh lol but it comforts me knowing that we're our own and that's how I came to realize that lol

Posted on July 25, 2012 at 4:16 am
fromcoldtofire
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I'm very much like Debbie - I like to save and plan with only the occasional splurge, and although Dan and I did live together for a few months before the wedding, the money issue came after it. I think it was especially difficult bc a few weeks after the wedding we decided to sell our condo (a place I bought well before meeting Dan) in order to buy a larger single family home. The money issues really came out then!
Posted on August 4, 2012 at 1:37 am
DansMrs
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Like some of you gals, the joining of money was difficult. We did this a year before the wedding and it was a really difficult adjustment at first! But we figured it out and we're doing a LOT better with it. 

Posted on August 6, 2012 at 8:20 am
MrsCaleYoung
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We've been married two months now and although we lived together for a year before I moved in, I helped pay the utilities, the mortgage and the cable. The biggest adjustment for me is getting use to paying the house insurance and the property taxes. That is a drastic change in my life. He was so upset that I made a couple of comments about it, but that was A MAJOR CHANGE IN MY LIFE AND A LOT OF MONEY! We just got married at the end of June and then wham, have to come up with thousands of dollars for the taxes. In August, along with paying the property taxes and having to find new home insurance, the ceiling in the den came crashing down because a pipe burst. We got the pipes fixed, but now have to wait to get the den redone.

Posted on September 14, 2012 at 10:04 am
miss*bling
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hmmm, realizing that marriage can face real serious issues.. myself and nearly all my friends have been thru some shocking revelations about our partners, I was very naieve and thought things would be perfect, but now I understand the cliche of marriage takes work... We have been together for nearly 8 years, and I am sticking to my vows, luckily we dont have to deal with infidelity... but I know several friends who were shocked to realize this, and are working through it,

Posted on September 18, 2012 at 8:38 pm
Uhlease
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I've only been married a couple weeks, so for me, right now, it's the whole name change thing! We lived together before getting married and opened a joint account, so I'm way more used to that now. I think it's just a little different as of now, but I'll definitely come back in a few months and answer it again :)

Posted on September 19, 2012 at 11:00 am
mrsharris2012
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09/02/2012
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Well 3 weeks in no major issues yet except the name change thing! I haven't done it yet and I'm not looking forward to the mess! However I did order a new name plate today for my cubicle at work. We've been sharing house and money for almost 3 years already so that was no big deal.
Posted on September 26, 2012 at 3:04 pm
mrsharris2012
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Oh and a biggie......wedding planning! I miss it ....I miss the anticipation of my wedding coming up.
Posted on September 26, 2012 at 3:05 pm
MrsCaleYoung
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I finally went and got my new driver's license and it came in the mail Friday. I was able to do so without going to the social security office first and that was a relief! I would have to practically take a day off work to go to the social security office. I am slowly but surely getting there changing myname, but getting the license done is finally over!

Posted on October 2, 2012 at 4:36 am

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