Have You Made Decisions that Weren't "You"?

I think when emotional events, (such as weddings) roll around there's a lot of pressure from everyone (and everywhere) to do things that other people want, expect, think is the norm, etc. And in an effort to please other people our visions and dreams get overlooked.


One of the things I love so very much about PW is that this community encourages brides (and grooms) to remember themselves in their wedding vision and expectations, rather than being a people-pleaser.


I bring this up because I have been in this situation. I have never been fond of doing anything "in the norm". Neither has FI. However, I still let other people push me into buying a traditionally colored wedding gown, which I always said I would never do. I have spent the last few months looking at my dresses (I bought a reception dress in an effort to "feel it" more, but it didn't help) and realized that wearing white/ivory is just not me. I mentioned it to my mom at my birthday this weekend and she gave me her blessing to wear a dress that was more me. FI's family may not take it as well, but I feel better knowing that I'm being true to myself.  


So my question is: Do you feel like you have been pressured into making wedding related decisions that weren't what you wanted?


 

Posted on October 30, 2012 at 3:56 pm
Rockstar2016
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(3) Comments

Canooknic
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07/19/2013
Canooknic

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Absolutely!! It's why I ended up going through with my first marriage. I knew I didn't want to, but I didn't want to let people down.

When I had heard of people going through with weddings when they knew they shouldn't I always thought "that would never happen to me, I'd just call it off" but it's really not that easy!!

After the marriage ended so many people said they didn't see it working out but because I was always so confident and outspoken they never thought I'd do something I didn't want to.

As hard as it is, it is so important to do what is right for you xxx
Posted on October 30, 2012 at 4:07 pm
chrissyrenaegray
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03/10/2012
chrissyrenaegray

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chrissyrenaegray

I did feel pressure to make certain decisions, but I didn't make them.  I had a family member that had a very traditional view of weddings and hearing her thoughts and opinions bugged me at times; however, I held on to what I wanted to do, and it worked out beautifully.

Posted on October 30, 2012 at 4:08 pm
thechelsi
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07/07/2012
thechelsi

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I got married at 18 - and definitely had pressure from others to wait and get married later. Not a whole lot of pressure to wait, but definitely enough to get to me a little. If anything it just made me self conscious, but it didn't even begin to sway my decision.


I wasn't at all a traditional bride either - Alex and I aren't formal people so we opted out of a formal wedding. We wanted a celebration that we would enjoy, and that wouldn't make us/others feel awkward as some weddings do. We had a backyard barbecue wedding, and it was perfect!! 


I didn't have a whole lot of help planning my wedding to be honest, so I didn't hear a lot of other opinions. Pros and cons to this I suppose! But our wedding was just how we wanted it.

Posted on October 30, 2012 at 4:32 pm

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