Having a bad day today :(
I woke up this morning and took an HPT assuming it was going to be a bfn and sure enough it was. Seeing that one line stare right back at me hit me like a ton of bricks. Again, I was expecting the negative but was not expecting the emotions afterward. It has just made my day crap already. Everything is irritating me. My dog, my car, other drivers, my co-workers, my patients......grrrr!
Seeing that bfn also just brings out how angry I am that we lost our baby. I am angry that we were soo excited and trying for so long and now we have nothing. I am terrified that even if we do by some miracle get another bfp that it will just end in MC anyways. DH and I have considered going to an RE for IUI's and injectable meds, but ins won't cover it. I can't see spending thousands of dollars on that treatment knowing that even if we do get pregnant we can loose it again. Was crying my whole way to work because I am just so sad/angry!
Then to top it all off, and Im sure you all know this story, sooo many people around me are pregnant and DIDNT want to be! Why do they get to experience it and DH and I can't!!!
Sorry for my pity party, I just needed to get it all out.