Having children early vs. later in life

Hi girls I am writing a Comparison Contrast essay in school and I thought that this would be a great topic: Having children early vs. later in life, being that my husband and I are in the talks of a baby. Please fill me in with your experiences.  TIA

Posted on February 20, 2012 at 8:24 am
maybritt10
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(15) Comments

theresaobyrne
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theresaobyrne

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Do you have any specific questions? I'm not sure what you need...
Posted on February 20, 2012 at 9:18 am
clipscomb1987
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I had my daughter right before my 23rd bday.... i think my daughter is amazing and I wouldnt have it any other way.  

Posted on February 21, 2012 at 1:34 am
Octobersky
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I think it depends on your situation. I knew that I didn't want to have kids until my mid-to late thirties as I wasn't ready for that big committment. It's defintiely a choice and a hard to compare because there are so many different factors that may be the reason why women choose to have kids early vs. late in life.


You might want to ask the question of did a career/schooling/marriage affect your choice in having a child early vs. later? you may get more answers.

Posted on February 21, 2012 at 4:22 am
clipscomb1987
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and find out if its planned or unplanned lol 


 


Career: Yes


Schooling: Some college- no real direction with what kind of degree I want


Marriage: engaged


Accident?: Yes


If I didnt have her when I did I would have been shooting for a honeymoon baby which would have resulted in having my first born when I was 24. 

Posted on February 21, 2012 at 5:32 am
abattyref
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It's going to vary from person to person.


In my 20s I wasn't ready to be a mom yet... still in college, not much financial security, still living with my parents. I was at least dating my husband, so if we got pregant I knew he'd be supportive of whatever we'd decided to do. If I'd gotten pregnant as a teenager, or even as old as 21, I probably would have had an abortion. I probably would have regretted it later, but it's the mindset I was in when I was that young.


I had my son the year I turned 31 and I wouldn't change anything about it. 

Posted on February 21, 2012 at 11:35 am
mg16
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I knew that I didn't want kids until my late twenties-early thrities. DH felt the same way...we are college sweethearts. I had no plans for having children in my early 20's. My priority was going to college and growing up. Because I knew I didn't want kids, I made sure to take BC to avoid an unplanned pregnancy.  Now at 31 I'm expecting my first child with DH. We are so glad we waited and can't wait until the arrival of our LO.

Posted on February 21, 2012 at 11:46 am
Canooknic
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I had our boys when I was 31. I definitely didn't want kids any younger be ause I was out enjoying life, travelling, partying and getting my career in place. It was the perfect age for me, I am much less selfish now, and I know that I haven't 'missed out' on anything (my biggest fear was to not accomplish everything I wanted and blaming the baby)

My sister had her first at 24 but is now still young enough to live her own life again as they are both grown up. She has the money and time to go travelling etc. and doesn't regret having her kids early because she had the energy to run around after them!

I guess it right for different people at different times....
Posted on February 22, 2012 at 2:48 am
mandahalter
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So I wanted to add a little bit to this. I myself was 25 when I had my first child and I don't know if I was ready but I love it. My husband is 30 and his parents are 70. I am not saying there is anything wrong with having children late in life but I want to share some things with you. . .


His mom (70 - 40 when she had him) cries sometimes when she holds our daughter because she won't be around when my daughter graduates high school or gets married. She may be around but she won't be around the way she would like to.


My husband all the time when he was growing up wished he had parents that could play with him and be more active but appreciated all the financial things they could do for him like take him nice places and buy him nice things.


I just feel bad because my mom who is 50 gets to play and watch my baby whenever she wants and it really wears his mother out to watch her more than a few hours. hth.

Posted on February 22, 2012 at 5:09 am
onetxjewel
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I'll chime in!  My husband and I are expecting our first and we're both 28, i'll be 29 in June.  I think this is the perfect age for us.  I went to college, graduated in 4 years, and then became a teacher.  I knew I did not want to have children at a young age and knew that I wanted to be married first.  Just like abatty, I would have probably gotten an abortion if I would have gotten pregnant as a teen or in my early 20's, but I took BC and did everything I could to be as safe as possible.  I partied, got my education, and lived life to the fullest before meeting my husband when I was 25.  We started dating, built our home, have two beautiful dogs, and knew that we would want to try to have a baby as soon as we got married because we felt we have established jobs, a lovely home, and are financially stable.  We got pregnant 3 weeks after we got married!!!  Even though i'm almost in my thirties having a baby is stressful and scary and exciting all at the same time!  We always talked about having 2 children but I'll be honest, I have not enjoyed being pregnant at all and i'm not sure I want to put my body through it again, but we said we would talk about it in 3-4 years and see how i'm feeling.  I do not want to have children past the age of 33.  For some reason I think this is a good window.  My mother had me at 18 and it was rough.  She was young, had not money, and wasn't able to attend college because she needed to work full time.  She attended and graduated from a private university while I was in high school but it caused her to be away alot.  Now she's able to travel and do fun stuff because she's only 46.  I feel having a baby at 28 is the best of both worlds!  I got to graduate from college and sew my oats yet when my child will be in college i'll be in my 40's!  I'll be able to enjoy nice vacations and still feel young with my husband!!! 


Everyone is different and everyone's situation is different.  It's all about evaluating what is important to you and your significant other.  My husband and I are adament about maintaining our wife/husband relationship along with our mommy/daddy relationship but we feel they are two different entities.  Keaton is due in April and we booked our anniversary trip in July.  We are going back to a Mexican resort for 3 nights so we'll be away for only 2 full days.  People have given us the side eye when we tell them and I do not feel bad one second!  I love my child already but just because I go on a vacation with my husband does not mean i'm a heartless person!  For me the biggest thing about being a mom is also maintaining myself as Julia!  One thing that i'm proud of myself for doing is for being an independant person before getting married and having a baby. 

Posted on February 24, 2012 at 6:47 am
mrspre
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I will be 29 and DH will be 35 when we have our 1st baby in July.  I don't consider that to be young, but I also don't consider that to be 'old' by today's standards.  People are having children much later than that. So I think it's a good in-between age :)


DH and I will be just a couple months shy of having been married for 3 years before our LO arrives.  So we've definitely had our time together as a couple and had time to travel to many different places.  We spent 2 months traveling last year, which was an amazing experience. I finished college in 4 years and have a great stable career that I've been at for 6 years. So the timing for us was just right- I don't feel like I'm going to be giving anything up to become a parent.


Everyone just has to do what is right for them and their particular situation.

Posted on February 24, 2012 at 8:30 am
prinncessjennifer
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prinncessjennifer

I'm 30 and my DH is 36, we just had our first baby - a boy in January.

Like a couple of the other ladies if I had got pregnant in my early 20's I probably would have had an abortion...
DH and I have been together almost 9 years and married for 2 1/2 years - we knew we wanted to be married at least a year before having a baby...it was actually closer to 2 (I was pregnant on our 2nd)

All my friends had kids early and I saw how they werent able to do things that I was able to do - I think that made me want to wait as well. I also wanted to wait until DH and I were married as well, had a house etc. I've been at my job for almost 11 years so it's stable.

The only drawback of waiting is having kids back to back, I don't want to be pregnant past 35 so we will be trying for #2 in March / April next year and maybe #3 after that.
Posted on February 24, 2012 at 11:42 am
miss*bling
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I am another one for wanting a baby later on in life ,,,for me its selfish reason partly like vacations, sleep etc but also financially we will be completely set if we wait till early to mid thirties versus 20's when we were both in college still

Posted on February 28, 2012 at 6:19 pm
KariDee
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10/03/2009
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I was 29 when I had my first baby with my husband who was 39.  For me, I wanted to have a college degree, a stable career, get married, have a house all BEFORE baby.  It mattered to me to be able to fully provide for my family and accomplish some of my goals that I thought would be challenging to do so with a baby (like get a college degree).  I'm very happy with the choices I made and waiting until we were "prepared" in a sense.


I plan on having a second child within the next 2 years since I, too, don't want to be past my mid 30's.

Posted on February 29, 2012 at 6:36 am
mishk3
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This is a tricky question, because sometimes life just works out a certain way, whether it was according to plan or not. If you had asked me as a teenager, or even in my 20's, i would have told you that mid-late 20's would be the ideal time to start a family. Old enough to have finished college and begun establishing a career, but still young enough to be energetic and look forward to all of your kids' life accomplishments (college graduation, marriage, playing with your own grandkids).

I had my daughter at 35, because that is simply the way life worked out for me, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I am in a wonderful relationship with an amazing man whom I adore. Had we met at any other point in our lives, I am not sure we would have appreciated each other (or anyone else, for that matter) quite as much. We also have a lovely home in a great neighborhood with no financial strains, and a fabulous extended family, which might make our relationship easier. Bringing our daughter into a happy, supportive, stable family means the world to me.

Timelines, age, or logical next steps didn't factor into making my family a happy one. But we are happy. We all adore each other to bits.
Posted on March 1, 2012 at 7:03 am
Legentry
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Well...I had planned on having a baby in my late 20s (28-29 was ideal to me), but life just didn't work out that way.  God had a different plan I guess (P.S. say no to the Nuvaring.  I've known 2 other women who got pregnant while on it too.)


I will be 25 when the baby arrives though, so that it still an okay age to me.  I'm very lucky to have already graduated from college, established my career, and I'm already married.  DH is still in college, so financially that's kept us in quite a financial pickle, but he will be graduating just a few months after the baby is born. 


Ideally, I would have waited because by your late 20s-early 30s you mostly have your finances together for it.  I would have preferred to own a house rather than renting an apartment.


The upside is:  I will have more energy to play with my child.  I will still be young when he/she graduates from high school/college, gets married, and has kids of his/her own.  I won't have to be an old grandma right off the bat (God-willing). :)


And because I'm younger, I am at a low risk for chromosomal diseases and complications.  My OB said I'm actually at the prime age for having a baby.  After 30, risks increase. 


Pros and cons to every side, but it will happen when it's supposed to happen. 

Posted on March 2, 2012 at 3:14 am

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