Help-Engagement Shoot felt very fake...

Hey All,


This is my first post - have been a long time viewer of project wedding and have gotten great ideas so far from you all - thanks for the inspiration ladies!!


The reason I'm finally writing a post is that I had a bit of a mini breakdown and didn't sleep at all last night worrying.


Got our engagement shoot done yesterday and it felt so staged and fake. Don't get me wrong - I feel very comfortable with photographer and obviously FI :-) Photographer was great telling us how to pose so it would look great, but its just that I felt like I was acting and had an out of body experience.


Call it innocence or nievety or both...but didn't realise that getting our pics done would feel so staged - I probably had this romantic view that myself and FI would be in the moment and this would be captured...but didn't feel like this at all...is this the only way to get amazing photos? If so - my romanticism is shattered. Am so worried about this, as afraid that I'll feel like this on the day and I will miss any "real" moments with my FI, cause I'll be worried about pictures? (As I said - having bit of irrational panic attack)


Our photographer did say that he'd be taking a lot from a distance on the day and only some staged between the ceremony and reception, so won't all be like that on the day. Don't want to change photographers as he really is lovely and is so competent and has great portfolio (also great reviews from other people)


Not sure if this makes sense to anyone? Has anyone ever felt this way? Or am I just having a bridezilla panic attack? (If it is - I don't feel too guilty - it is genuinely my first little panic attack about the wedding thankfully! & hopefully the last)


Appreciate any views?


Thanks for reading Ladies!

Posted on September 5, 2012 at 10:32 pm
TallwanMel
1
10/12/2012
TallwanMel

TallwanMel

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
2
Followers
6
Following

(17) Comments

August27bride
3
08/27/2010
August27bride

August27bride

  • 3
  • 8
  • 550
26
Followers
29
Following

August27bride

Our photographer also posed us on our engagement shoot also got some "in the moment shots" same with our wedding day. Everything turned out fine
Posted on September 5, 2012 at 11:29 pm
cuteboy2me
5
09/22/2012
cuteboy2me

cuteboy2me

  • 5
  • 17
  • 5.44k
122
Followers
123
Following

cuteboy2me

First off,  welcome to PW!


I don't think you're having a bridezilla moment at all.  You're worrying about something, not throwing a fit.  Throwing fits and being mean to people is what equates to a bridezilla to me.


You may be feeling how you're feeling because it's not the most natural thing for most people to be posed and told what to do to capture a picture.  I wouldn't panic just yet.  Will you get your e-pics much before your wedding day?  If so, take a look at them and see if you look more natural in them than you felt while they were being taken.  Sometimes how you feel may not translate they way you think it will on camera.  I'm not a professional, so I could be wrong, but I'm hoping for you. 


I would expect that you'll be so caught up in your wedding day that you wont really much notice that you're being staged for photographs.  Your photographer wanting to be taking photos from a distance is a good thing.  He wants to be behind the scenes and blend in, so that he does capture you in your natural interactions and not have you aware of a camera in your face at all times.


 

Posted on September 5, 2012 at 11:50 pm
Faithk08
5
07/14/2012
Faithk08

Faithk08

  • 5
  • 16
  • 5.95k
308
Followers
308
Following

Faithk08

Welcome to PW!!! So glad you finally joined in on the boards :)


I have to say, I felt the same way on my wedding day.. eek. The photog even made us move to smile or kiss when we were having an "us" natural moment, which should've been one of those amazing intimate moments caught on film. But we still had lots of good photos, just not a lot of natural ones. 


I also felt that way when we did our epics, but I was completely surprised by how many natural ones there were. I was freaking out until I actually saw the photos. The photog did an amazing job there, so I was so happy to see we weren't positioned and posed the whole time!! I'm sure there will be lots of those in your photos as well :)

Posted on September 6, 2012 at 1:36 am
LauraSweet
15
06/12/2010
LauraSweet

LauraSweet

  • 15
  • 27
  • 19.3k
682
Followers
938
Following

LauraSweet

Welcome to Project Wedding!  We're so glad you're posting!


I think it's natural to have a bit of panic when something in the process doesn't feel the way you think it's going to feel.  I certainly had a few anxiety/meltdown moments leading up to the wedding.  I think you probably just need to try to relax and see how your e-pics turn out.  E-pics are usually more staged than wedding pics because you're sort of creating a moment there for the camera.  On your wedding day, you'll be having lots of moments in front of the camera, so there won't be as much staging needed.  I do think you should probably go ahead and go with some of the staged pics, though.  As awkward as they may feel, sometimes the photographer really is seeing a vision that you haven't seen yet, and some great pictures come from those moments.


These are some of my favorite pictures from my wedding day:


Welcome to Project Wedding photo 3400454-1 Welcome to Project Wedding photo 3400454-2


I love them.  But posing for them was soooo awkward.  It was almost 100 degrees outside, we were sweating, and standing with our foreheads stuck together for a few minutes while she got a few shots was AWKWARD.  But she was seeing what we weren't seeing yet.  And I'm so glad she did.  :)


*If* you feel confident in your photographer's work with other weddings, try to just go with it and plan on having to do some posing, but know that the majority of the day he/she will be capturing your genuine moments.

Posted on September 6, 2012 at 2:51 am
cocoanat
1
09/01/2013
cocoanat

cocoanat

  • 1
  • 1
  • 29
3
Followers
7
Following

cocoanat

Taking that I dont love taking pictures I will probably feel the exact same way. I will agree with the other ladies and say that you should wait until you see the pics to panic. Once you see them and love them then ur anxiety will disappear.....prayerfully. :-) Good Luck!!!

Posted on September 6, 2012 at 3:51 am
Uhlease
5
09/02/2012
Uhlease

Uhlease

  • 5
  • 18
  • 9.89k
334
Followers
316
Following

Uhlease

I felt the EXACT same way after taking my e-pics!! After seeing so many shoots on here and on weddinggawker, I thought it woud come naturally and be romantic like you were saying. He did get some good shots, but after that, I learned to speak up and say exactly what I want during shooting. On the wedding day it was great. There were some posed, but I think he also got a lot of in the moment shots too. I haven't seen any pics yet!! It felt a lot more natural and romantic on the wedding day. E-pics are just practice :) Welcome to PW!

Posted on September 6, 2012 at 4:16 am
beccabride
20
10/10/2010
beccabride

beccabride

  • 20
  • 21
  • 21.9k
796
Followers
799
Following

beccabride

Welcome to PW!! Glad that you have joined us on the boards!  I personally did not have e-pics, but on our wedding day, we did have some posed shots and they did feel a little wierd, but we also spoke up and actually had a TON of fun with our pics.  I think that since we are so used to taking "regular" pictures that when it comes to taking shots with a pro, it can sometimes feel unnatural.  I would wait until you get them before you panic and you are not being a bridezilla AT ALL!!

Posted on September 6, 2012 at 4:40 am
pickaroe
3
11/03/2012
pickaroe

pickaroe

  • 3
  • 11
  • 1.87k
146
Followers
149
Following

pickaroe

Express this in a calm "I know what I want" way to your photographer. I told my photographer she has time before the ceremony for bridal party photos (all staged but fun) then about 25 minutes after the ceremony for family & creative bride/groom shots. The rest of the night is shot in the moment.

The only reason i'm comfortable with this because i've been through it before (i'm divorced) and FI & I have done photo shoots and a couples boudoir session together and its mostly staged and uncomfortable but can be moved through quickly. We skipped epics entirely so our photog would shoot our rehearsal party.
Posted on September 6, 2012 at 4:52 am
littlebit07
4
07/14/2012
littlebit07

littlebit07

  • 4
  • 16
  • 2.45k
127
Followers
127
Following

littlebit07

Welcome to the boards!:)


I sorta felt the same way with our engagement pictures, and I think it's completely normal. Our photographer actually told us the best way to kiss in pictures, and posed us to get the best shots. She made us fake laugh a lot too. It was sorta awkward, and nothing like I anticipated. But they turned out GREAT! I loved them, and had a terrible time choosing just a few.


Our wedding day, she posed us a little bit for "formal" portraits, but the rest of the time, and especially at the reception, we didn't even know she and her second shooter were there. We haven't got our proofs yet, but I'm sure she did a fantastic job, and I can't wait to see all the moments she captured without us knowing!


I'm sure yours will be absolutely beautiful, and if you can, don't forget to come back and show us!

Posted on September 6, 2012 at 5:10 am
MrsCaleYoung
5
06/30/2012
MrsCaleYoung

MrsCaleYoung

  • 5
  • 17
  • 6.68k
188
Followers
185
Following

MrsCaleYoung

Congratulations and welcome to Project Wedding!


First off let me tell you that what you said MAKES PERFECT SENSE and is one of the reasons I didn't do engagement pictures because I felt the same way! I remember looking at all the pictures I saw for inspiration and on the day of my wedding, didn't take any of them. The pictures that are posed for, and there really were not many, were poses that we naturally do in most of our pictures anyway. And amazingly, our photographer caught so many "us" moments that still have me and him grinning. I think that's why we love our wedding photos so much because he caught so many amazing moments that I didn't even know we were doing! If you really feel like this, I think you should talk to your photographer and let him know your concerns. After all, you want to love your pictures. Here is my favorite picture of me and my husband that was totally not posed for.


Congratulations and welcome to photo 3400618-1


 

Posted on September 6, 2012 at 8:42 am
TallwanMel
1
10/12/2012
TallwanMel

TallwanMel

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
2
Followers
6
Following

TallwanMel

Thank you all so much ladies for responding & for the hugely warm welcome to PW!!


After a full nights sleep last night & after reading all your comments, I feel so much better!


Am going to just tell the photographer that i only want a certain amount of time on the day to be staged photo's and that the others I want him to capture the day naturally - thank you all so much (& love the pics you've shown!)


Thanks Ladies - this is a huge support network - ye are amazing!


Onwards to the wedding now!


I'm sure now that I've made the plunge, that there will be plenty more posts from me before the wedding!

Posted on September 6, 2012 at 11:47 pm
chrissyrenaegray
5
03/10/2012
chrissyrenaegray

chrissyrenaegray

  • 5
  • 17
  • 5.5k
183
Followers
183
Following

chrissyrenaegray

Welcome to PW!  If you've never had to take pro pics before, the e-pic experience may be a little weird.  We absolutely loved our photographer, and she got quite a few natural shots, but she also got several posed, but even those posed ones are probably some of my favorite, and they STILL look like a moment!  Here are some of my faves from our session, and they are all posed shots:


Welcome to PW If photo 3400818-1


Welcome to PW If photo 3400818-2


Welcome to PW If photo 3400818-3


Welcome to PW If photo 3400818-4


Welcome to PW If photo 3400818-5


And for the wedding, she took a few formal shots, but other than that, she just captured what happened.

Posted on September 7, 2012 at 12:12 am
Sammy_D
4
09/10/2011
Sammy_D

Sammy_D

  • 4
  • 16
  • 4k
192
Followers
207
Following

Sammy_D

I think that if you are not used to having your picture taken professionally and very 'in your face' (and who is, really?) then it will feel a bit awkward. I think once you look at the actual shots it won't feel so posed to you.


A few of the more formal, staged ones might but we all have those. Trust that you will be in the moment on your big day, so much will be going on around you and through your mind and the photographer will be snapping away the entire day so you will get a ton of great, spontaneous shots!


 As an example, the first picture was posed but the second was during the same moment when DH almost dropped me! They are both great, but you see what I mean :)


I think that if photo 3400838-1  I think that if photo 3400838-2

Posted on September 7, 2012 at 1:51 am
LMCJRL
1
10/20/2012
LMCJRL

LMCJRL

  • 1
  • 6
  • 79
43
Followers
46
Following

LMCJRL

I felt very weird getting my engagement pictures taken as well. Some of the poses they have you do don't feel natural at all, but they will look great when you see them. We actually took pictures for over 4 hours! The first hour or so I needed a lot of coaching because I felt uncomfortable and had to warm up to the photographer. To be honest, a few of my pictures you could tell that I didn't feel comfortable and looked a little cliche, but for the most part they turned out great. Don't worry-I'm sure you'll be very pleased when you see the end results. I keep telling myself the wedding day pictures should be a little easier since it's going to be so busy I won't have time to over-think everything in my head (plus a few cocktails beforehand should definitely help take the edge off haha) Make sure you post them when you get them! I'm anxious to see how great they'll look!

Posted on September 11, 2012 at 12:58 am
TallwanMel
1
10/12/2012
TallwanMel

TallwanMel

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
2
Followers
6
Following

TallwanMel

Hey All,


 


As promised - as thanks for the help you all gave me after my complete panic about my engagement pics - thought it only fair to share them with you all.


I'm so delighted with them - so had no need to worry - just said I'd share a few (will remove later on) - tnx again ladies for your great support!! :-)


 


Hey All As promised photo 3408397-1Hey All As promised photo 3408397-2Hey All As promised photo 3408397-3Hey All As promised photo 3408397-4Hey All As promised photo 3408397-5

Posted on September 27, 2012 at 9:44 pm
chrissyrenaegray
5
03/10/2012
chrissyrenaegray

chrissyrenaegray

  • 5
  • 17
  • 5.5k
183
Followers
183
Following

chrissyrenaegray

They're beautiful, and I'm so glad that you were pleased with how things turned out!

Posted on September 28, 2012 at 12:12 am
Mrs.Hodder
2
09/28/2013
Mrs.Hodder

Mrs.Hodder

  • 2
  • 9
  • 248
34
Followers
37
Following

Mrs.Hodder

As a photog I can tell you that a ton of shots are supposed to be posed :) It's not quite often you come across two people sitting on a bridge waiting for a photo to be taken lol. The key is that your photog gets the shot AFTER the shot; the one where you relax right after the formal pose was done. I'm sure your photo's will turn out gorgeous ( I worried just the same)

Posted on September 30, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Have a question? Contact Support
Top Contributors this Week
LauraSweet
15 posts
Canooknic
14 posts
Levisjoe
14 posts
Uhlease
8 posts
zeuster
7 posts
krosa
6 posts