Help...I don't want to move to Doha

My husband has been up for a great job in his company for almost 3 months now. The job would require that we move but we were unsure of where to until a couple of weeks ago. We thought it might be Dubai, but sadly it is not...its Doha which is right across the water from Iran and next door to Saudi Arabia...


I know I should be a good little wife and keep my mouth shut and just do what is best for US...but I do not want to go with every fiber in my being. Some of the reasons include that his company told us that they would choose who they want for the job the first week in DECEMBER! That was almost 2 months ago, so we have been strung along all this time waiting. And we have no idea what sort of compensation will be involved and when they want someone over there now...there are too many questions with no answers.


My husband told me a couple of weeks ago when I said I didn't want to go anymore and didn't have a good feeling about it that, "(I) will not take you anywhere you don't want to be," but now he keeps pressuring me to think more openly about it...


I don't know what to do...any advise? Any reassuring words about Doha?


Thanks Girls!

Posted on January 27, 2009 at 1:08 am
txbride08
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(25) Comments

WMforever
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oh my tx. first, try to be logical (we can easily make decisions based on emotions..which is not good). he should totally find out how much he'd get paid. thats first and foremost the most important thing. next research how safe that country is and if the company provides security and an easy access escape plan. you will be surprised at the perks that come w/ working for a private company in an area that's considered volatile. you get paid A LOT and get great security and live like kings while there.


my friend had to move to INDIA with her husband for three years while he was a reporter for Reuters. he was just a REPORTER and they lived like KINGS. mercedes chauffer, cook, cleaner, dog nanny (yes, dog nanny) she hobnobbed with the rich and famous in India and they didnt have to pay for a thing. they were able to save up his nice salary for when they returned to america.


so think about it, if your hubby will get paid a lot and everything will be included (housing, food, security), this will be a wonderful opprotunity for you! just put up with it for a couple of years until you move back with lots of money and a cool experience!

Posted on January 27, 2009 at 1:20 am
WMforever
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hey i just found some info on Doha. It doesnt sound so bad. its in Qatar which is a "safe zone" in the military (i had other friends who were stationed out there and were not in danger). also it looks like the majority of the residents are expatriates (people from other countries like america, UK, etc). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doha


 

Posted on January 27, 2009 at 1:49 am
WMforever
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also most of its money comes from oil! so i bet it'll be like dubai where you only see luxuries and not poverty (makes it more comfortable for you). also its super close to dubai so you could go there anytime). i bet you'll make lots of expatriate friends and have a great time. you're not like in the middle of the desert or something, know what i mean?


could you tell i'm excited for you? LOL. i would LOVE an opporuntity like that. but w/ my FI working for the government, i doubt it'll happen :(

Posted on January 27, 2009 at 1:55 am
txbride08
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Oh thank you WM for all the info and support! You def have me rethinking my cynical view on the situation!


And if I do move I will still have my PW girls right? Lol!

Posted on January 27, 2009 at 2:13 am
smooreswifey
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How long will yall be over there? Like, for good or for a few years?


And yes, you do still have your PW girls :)

Posted on January 27, 2009 at 2:17 am
WMforever
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haha. no prob. and yes, we'll be here! :)

Posted on January 27, 2009 at 2:17 am
txbride08
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its for 2 years...but other than that i don't know any info.


I've heard that the company will pay for "vacations" but I don't know to where...or what. Man I am just so paranoid about what happens After we return. Will I have to search for a job Again? Blah...life changing decsions are tough lol

Posted on January 27, 2009 at 2:20 am
smooreswifey
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I personally think it would be cool :) You could have a baby while over there and be like Angalina Jolie haha Your baby will be extra cool because he/she will be born in a forgein country lol It's only 2 years- I would def do it if the pay is good

Posted on January 27, 2009 at 2:28 am
d1rtymart1n1
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Qatar???  DO IT!!! =)


 just like all things in life - it's not forever!! you'll be able to experience new things and meet new people and live life elsewhere!!


 

Posted on January 27, 2009 at 4:19 am
kristeen
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i'm sorry you're having to go through this but like everyone is saying, it could be really cool.  and you can always come back.  i wish i could live abroad for a bit!

Posted on January 27, 2009 at 4:22 am
GatorBride
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Looks like it's similar in some ways to Dubai, culturally, and in terms of wealth. Also very modernized. My FI went to Qatar and Bahrain (right next door) when he was in the Marines, and he has a Hard Rock Cafe (!) t-shirt from his travels. Lol - definitely NOT Iran!


Some Doha photos:


Looks like it s photo 221289-1


Looks like it s photo 221289-2


Looks like it s photo 221289-3


Looks like it s photo 221289-4


Looks like it s photo 221289-5


Looks like it s photo 221289-6


 


Here's the website of a family from Canada who moved to the UAE and now lives in Qatar: http://happykappi.com/index.htm

Posted on January 27, 2009 at 4:33 am
megegers
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I think this sounds like an amazing opportunity. Doha is very similar to Dubai in so many ways. Its a VERY developed an affluent city and that oil money loves to show itself off.


It also has a very high concentration of english speaking expatriates from the US, Canada, the UK, etc...


If you were okay with going to Dubai... I dont think Doha would be any less.. Imagine all the travel and opportunity it would give you!


If your suppose to go right away though... your husband should be nailing down the details though, and you should be getting a MASSIVE pay increase!

Posted on January 27, 2009 at 4:37 am
jbl04d
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I would be against going too, honestly. I am emotional about being somewhat close to my family. But, I think before a definate decision is to be made, he should be given all the facts. AFTER he is given details, then is when I would be more open to it.

Posted on January 27, 2009 at 4:38 am
Sarahinwonderland
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I think it would be a fantastic experience! If my FI got a job oversees no matter where it was I would definitely go.


You get different outlooks on life because people there would have different perspectives that people here. And of course it is not permanent and if you really hate it you can come back!

Posted on January 27, 2009 at 4:39 am
kristinkay
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One of my best friends is moving to Dubai with her husband for his job sometime this year. The perks are amazing. He will get paid more than he is getting paid in the states... plus they pay for all living expenses and their company pays for 3 roundtrip tickets for them both to come back to the states each year. They live out of the state from both of their families now, so they think they will probably see their families more when they are living there!!


I would totally go... you probably will never get an opportunity to do something like that again.... I am totally jealous, I would LOVE to do that!

Posted on January 27, 2009 at 4:54 am
jackieg
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well, it's not permanent....but i would miss my friends and family terribly....

Posted on January 27, 2009 at 5:00 am
MommyLynda
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I don't know ladies.  Women aren't treated very well in some parts of the world.  Americans are huge targets, even in some very, very civilized countries.  Anyone been to France lately? LOL. 


I'm serious, though.  My husband and I have traveled EXTENSIVELY and although when we were younger we did some crazy things, with the tenor of what's going on in the world, I'd be very, very cautious.  If you were my daughter I'd be going absolutely nuts and she'd be going over my dead body...well, she wouldn't want to go anyway. She's way too connected to me at the hip.


The problem for you is that if your FI doesn't accept the promotion he may 1) never get another opportunity, 2) be out of a job.


I would suggest that you do your homework.  Call the State Department and get some answers.  Talk to your family.  This is huge and the ramifications of your decision are huge.


Good Luck to you...I'll be waiting to hear the outcome.

Posted on January 27, 2009 at 5:10 am
sparklfly
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Hey! I've been there!!! Listen, I'm in the Air Force about to get out in 2 weeks. I was stationed in Qatar for 5 months and had the opportunity to go out to Doha. Let me tell you it's beautiful. They have wonderful architecture, they have the water you can go do water sports, great mall, pretty cheap stuff at the "souks" where you can buy tons of things for cheaper like jewelry, fabrics, blankets. The food is excellent if you're open minded about that.


Anyway, the only thing I wouldn't like is the hotter months because I'm not going to lie, it is hot. And it does get humid. Very humid. BUT, my advice to you is: one, tell your hubby exactly how you feel about it, do some research online, forums, talk to people, etc sometimes you can't find all the info youserlf, and you may get a different perspective from others. Two, if you decide you want to do this for 2 yrs which I would, although 2 yrs sounds like a lot, if you're a stay at home crafty person like me, then you'll be ok. I know there are places to go and yes, you can travel. My friend while we were stationed there had the chance to travel to Oman which he said was beautiful and he went all by himself, granted the military paid for his travel but he had an amazing experiece. People are really nice, but like any other place you have to respect their culture and realize you are in their country.


And I'm sure that's common sense, but some people just don't get that. Think of this as an adventure because it can really be one! I know for a fact your hubby will get paid good because to be sent there for 2 yrs, is not easy...so, take that opportunity to save for when you come back, to plan and think about where you want to go next, to think about traveling to the countries nearby, you have tons of opportunities if your hubby won't be working 24/7.


Anyway...if you have any more questions about this place let me know. I know it may be different since you're not military but I know the same rules should apply for civilians because being living in country, you have to adjust A LOT. Well, I actually wish I could go back for a little while, the food is soooo good! LOL...Some people in the military volunteer to go there for a year because is so nice and well, the living conditions for us are not bad, I'm not sure about the civilians but I know contractors that lived there for years, they loved it, got paid enough to travel and enjoy it.


But like anywhere else, although it is a rich country there is poverty too but almost everywhere I went was very very clean, people are nice. The only thing that was scary to me was their driving...they are CRAZY drivers, when I say crazy, think of the craziest driving you've expericened and double that...they don't follow rules, so you have to be careful but we get to drive there too, you just have to get used to it and throw yourself out there.


Go girl! like d1rtymart1n1 said, it's not forever! You can always stay busy to make time go by faster, I couldn't tell you anything else coming from me, you know the military moves around quite a lot, we have to adapt, make the best of it, enjoy it and move on.



Things will be alright. Just talk to your hubby and tell him exactly how you feel, it is NOT your duty to stay shut, it is your duty to share your feelings. You guys are both in it together.


Love,


D.

Posted on January 27, 2009 at 5:11 am
sparklfly
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MommyLynda, I agree that americans are not liked everywhere, and that women are not treated well everywhere also. But you have to think about why and find a solution. Generally speaking (I'm not trying to offend anyone), americans seem to be rude, loud, abnoxious, in foreign countries and disrespectful, I tell you that as a military member, where overseas is part of our lifestyle.


I know part of the fault could be our behavior and the other is out of our control (politics), but from what I've learned, everywhere you go, if you treat people with respect, and you respect their culture and you realize that you're in THEIR country, and not yours, you can also be respected. I think people sometimes forget, and they behave just like they were in the states which is a big mistake, some things could be mistaken (acts, sayings, gestures, behavior overall), so we always need to keep that in mind and I guess change a little. It may seem hard for some, but I think it's just the way it should be. When you step into someone's culture, it can be very exciting or very frustrating, depends how you look at it. You can choose to learn about it and learn so many new things, or just be miserable.

Posted on January 27, 2009 at 5:18 am
WMforever
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its sad to see that stereotypes is what keeps people from exploring our world. i agree w/ sparkl, the americans who get harassed or disliked abroad are the loud, disrespectful, and obnoxious ones. when i lived in london, i'd be soooooooooo embarassed for my fellow americans when i saw "that kind of american" on the train with me or at the restaurant next to me. but as long as you're respectful of that countries culture, you will be left alone, if not embraced.


the only thing i'd worry about is you being homesick. but if they provide trips home, then you'll be ok. a couple of years will fly by and you'll have one of the coolest stories to tell your friends/families/children.

Posted on January 27, 2009 at 5:33 am
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