House fund wedding registry - good idea or bad idea?

In addition to our traditional housewares registry, FI and I have been thinking about doing a honeymoon registry like honeyfund.com, but I recently stumbled across downpaymentdreams.com and we're starting to lean towards something like this instead!


I'm worried this is tacky/basically asking for money, but on the other hand, it's not much different than honeymoon registries. . . what do you guys think?

Posted on October 19, 2009 at 7:06 am
Rae32
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(39) Comments

misshammy
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I, personally, don't like the honeymoon nor the house fund... 


BUT, that's because I don't like showing how much I spent, KWIM??  And I LOVE gift shopping...  I hate giving gift cards, etc.


I think it's a cool idea but I'm not feeling it :(


Only my opinion Rae :D

Posted on October 19, 2009 at 7:45 am
ChildofHope
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I've never heard of this before, and I don't know if I have an opinion either way.  Whatever works for you I think! :)

Posted on October 19, 2009 at 7:47 am
anrya
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My honest opinion: Bad Idea. It's really no better than to ask for cash.

Posted on October 19, 2009 at 7:47 am
futuremrscorwin
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futuremrscorwin

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I agree with Hammy, I think its a good idea...but I personally wouldn't like it!! I LOVE buying gifts for people. BUT on the other hand there are a lot of people out there that HATE trying to decide on a gift, going out to get a gift, wrapping the gift, etc. so I could see something like this being a GREAT alternative for them.

Posted on October 19, 2009 at 7:48 am
Meowkers
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I've always been a big supporter of honeymoon registries and cash gifts so I obviously think the downpayment fund is a great idea.

Posted on October 19, 2009 at 7:56 am
al0626
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i think its a GREAT idea!  i dont get it, alot of wedding traditions are being thrown out the window in modern day, but this one "lets not ask for cash and instead get a whole bunch of stuff we dont need then TRY to take it back" always seems to be lingering!  i think a nice saying can make it very personal, like a family effort in getting the house!  i would much rather donate to that than buy your third toaster to  give to you!

Posted on October 19, 2009 at 8:01 am
Rae32
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Wow, sounds like opinions are pretty split! Thanks for your thoughts, ladies. We're definitely still doing a traditional registry for guests that prefer giving tangible gifts. . . I'm still on the fence about the alternative reg idea.

Posted on October 19, 2009 at 9:12 am
Niecy
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Just my opinion -  I don't like them -  if Im totally honest I would talk so much smack about my friend/family member if they did a honeymoon or "house" fund registry .... I just think it is rude -  yes we are all throwing all kinds of tradition out the window but to me this isn't about tradition ,  its about being blatantly rude -  we all secretly want cash , we all secretly EXPECT gifts from our guests , but the fact is they are not REQUIRED to give us anything just because we invited them ,  so to me these kinds of registries are equivalent to coming out and saying "I expect you to give me money"  which I would never do


I have a household full of stuff and we didn't want anything but money , our honeymoon depended on it ,  but the only registry I did was the traditional kind.


But Im just one person ,  maybe your circle will think its great ,  my DH threw the honeyfund thing out there and BOTH moms shot out the look of death :)  

Posted on October 19, 2009 at 9:18 am
LynLyn1127
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I don't think its a good idea.  IMO I always felt uncomfortable when people ask for a cash gift instead of an actual tangible gift.  If it were a birthday or a graduation (which is a little more casual) and everyone chipped in then I think that would be okay but for a wedding (which is more of a formal occasion) I think would be pushing it. 


I believe the point of a wedding registry is to register for things you want or need that you would have spent your money on in the first place and you can use the money you would have spent on these items towards your downpayment or honeymoon.


Good Luck!

Posted on October 19, 2009 at 9:20 am
Chica
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We did www.honeyfund.com and loved it.  I hate shopping with registries and if you're registered at Macy's or Bed, Bath and Beyond or whatever, you're getting a gift card from that place from me.  I guess its totally up to you, do what you want.

Posted on October 19, 2009 at 9:24 am
Kimberly0710
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Well...I can understand all opinions. Personally I love gift shopping the excitement of picking out something special for the bride and groom. However, we made it a rule to spend a certain $$ amount on every wedding couple that we go to...give or take $50 or so. If the couple wanted cash for honeymoon or DP we'd probably just give the cash equivalent of what we were going to buy.


Edit - it would probably bother me more to know that they registered for a bunch of material things they didn't really need and returned the gift later on.

Posted on October 19, 2009 at 9:24 am
puzzlepiece
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I think it's funny that these websites are created in an attempt to cloak "asking for cash." It's the SAME thing and I'm pretty sure that guests know this too.


I am a cash giver myself when it comes to wedding because I know this is what the couple wants/needs.

Posted on October 19, 2009 at 9:33 am
miss_em2010
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We received a wedding invitation with a registry card to A BANK!! The card requested donations for the couples house and HM fund.


As a guest, I have never been so insulted. And we brought a gift.


It's identical to asking for cash....I don't like this idea. At all.

Posted on October 19, 2009 at 11:11 am
sheri215
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I don't think it's a bad idea.  I mean, these days people want things simplified.  A lot of older guests give money anyways so at least this way they can feel like they are contributing towards something.  I think it's all in the way you present it and word it.  I would still have a traditional registry as well though.

Posted on October 19, 2009 at 11:44 am
emmdm
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We used Hatch My House - www.hatchmyhouse.com - and loved it! We got to personalize our house look and our wedding guests got to buy 'windows' or 'doors'. It was kind of a cute way to ask for cash, and not so tacky. There were also e-cards to make it more personal - and the option to download an image of our house. In our hand-written thank you notes, we included a print out of our 'dream' house! Everyone had fun using it, including us!


 


 

Posted on October 21, 2009 at 9:29 am
brianne2009
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I think as long as you do a traditional registry, it'll be fine.  Then they can decide between a gift (for those who don't like giving $) and cash (for those who hate the idea of picking a gift...that would be me.)


 


I'd be all for the cash, but that's because I'm of the mindset that I'd rather give cash or a gift card and they get something they truly enjoy than to give something that will probably just sit around somewhere unused and then end up in a yard sale...KWIM?

Posted on October 21, 2009 at 9:34 am
andm2010
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The only thing I don't like about these is when the company takes a small percentage of what your guests are giving. 


For example, my friend did a honeymoon thing where people could buy them dinner on the beach, zip line etc etc.  So you would think you were buying like tickets or rsvps for these things.  In actuality all you were doing was giving this company cash, they took 7% of it and then they gave it to the couple do with what they want.

Posted on January 24, 2010 at 3:29 am
FarmBride
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I think it is a good idea.


Personally we had enough trouble fitting everything in when I moved in, and as we are a little older than most couples on here we already have all home things. The only things we would like are 'big' and i would not expect anyone to spend that much on us


This is what we decided to do, we have put the following poem in with our information sheets.


We've been together for a few years now and have a lovely home 


There are not too many items that we do not already own.        


So please don't be offended and please don't think we're brash     


 if your thoughts were on a present we would much prefer the cash!    


The choice is really up to you and we would like to say 


That we hope you come, enjoy yourselves     


and have a lovely day!


We do have a small list of gifts if someone wants to do that but everyone who has asked is so pleased when we say this is what we are doing this as they don't know what to get us.


I know some of you think this is 'rude' which is why I haven't posted this before but a registry is still asking guests to spend x amount of £ to me. In the end choose what suits you as a couple.


 


 


 

Posted on January 24, 2010 at 3:43 am
MountainBride
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Ooooh tough one.  


I like to give a physical gift to a bride & groom. . . so no matter what you had on your info I'd go for the registry and not the donation to the honeymoon or house. . .


HOWEVER, given only the option between the honeymoon and the house, it would be no question: house fund.  WAY more practical. . .you don't *need* a honeymoon to start a marriage, but a HOME would be the foundation, so from a practical standpoint that makes way more sense.  


That way your guests feel like they are giving you something towards your life together (the whole point of gifts at a wedding, no?). . .


But, also consider that if you register for traditional items, you'll have more money for your house later because you'll aready have stuff to fill it up.

Posted on January 24, 2010 at 3:45 am
amandah24
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@Farm - I think that's awesome. I'm only 22, but FI and I have been together for 3.5 years and have our second apartment together. We have a lot of things and the stuff in our tangible registry are things that we pretty much want or "could use".

@Rae - I think the house fund idea is excellent. I don't really understand why it would be thought of as rude or anything. I think I'm going to do it because a house is something that we really do want. Thanks for the idea!

Posted on January 24, 2010 at 3:54 am
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