How long did it hurt for?

How long did it take for DTD to stop hurting after the first time if you can remember?


I am not doing it untill out wedding night and am worried that it will hurt for a while and ruin the HM?


Any advice and help or suggestions of products to numb or prevent it hurting??

Posted on April 22, 2010 at 6:44 am
lilmissangel
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(36) Comments

Mau
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Mau

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It doesnt hurt if he  gives you a foreplay  and you are relaxed  and if it hurts the next day due to what you did, you need to see a doctor.


Remember there is no membrane to prevent  a cock from comming into the vagina, there can be some tissue but there is still a  hole.


So if it hurts he is doing it wrong, sex is nice if done right.


I think you need to find some medical sites about  humans breeding and what it is all about.

Posted on April 22, 2010 at 7:14 am
sofielion
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I dont think its going to hurt in the way that you might be thinking of. Yes, it is a bit of a strange feeling, but this is what your body is made for so it will get used to the sensation pretty quickly. You don't need to numb yourself because you won't feel the pleasure. The key factors here are patience, lots of foreplay, and having lube handy just in case your hubby to be is quite endowed!


Your muscles will be sore the next day because sex is akin to working out, but you shouldnt be in such pain that would prevent you from enjoying your honeymoon activities :)

Posted on April 22, 2010 at 7:44 am
Mau
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You will find  muscles in your thighs that you didnt know you had....


Yes, numbing is stupid cause then you cant feel if he is doing wrong and you cant have an orgasm, which is the pleasure bit of having sex.


Should say the first time is seldom great or actually happingen.... you can have a few gigglefits, cramps and well  limpness from his side.

Posted on April 22, 2010 at 8:03 am
marii143
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When DH and I had sex for the first time it did hurt the first time. But I was nervouse and we didnt do much foreplay just kissing. I did have pain that day after having sex but by the next day it felt better. We waited about 2 days and next time it was good. So the foreplay might work and lube but not numbing.

Posted on April 22, 2010 at 8:31 am
Alatiel
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Like first time ever? I think I waited like a week to do it again, not because of pain just because of the lack of opportunity. I'm pretty sure I would've been fine going again right after. Is kind of like when you first start working out: you may be sore, but it's best to "work through it".
Posted on April 22, 2010 at 9:11 am
Sarahinwonderland
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It didn't hurt until like the 10th time we did it. That was when my hymen tore finally. BUT I loved the pain :) But I am a little bit of a masochist 


The bad thing that happened was the first time my hymen tore a little bit (not all the way) and then it became infected so sex for the next 2 months was really painful, but again I liked it painful. 

Posted on April 22, 2010 at 10:13 am
reddollshoes
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It really didn't hurt for me at all.  It felt strange but we made sure to take it slow.  As long as you're not trying to force anything and are paying attention to how your body feels you should be able to get away without too much pain.  It's possible that your hymen has already torn even without having had sex.  So yeah, take it slow, have lube available, get nice and warmed up with foreplay first.  

Posted on April 22, 2010 at 10:24 am
jennypaul87
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I was just a little sore the next day, but it was nothing bad at all.

Posted on April 22, 2010 at 10:30 am
Lilivati
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Alright.  I'm going to lay this out straight and I'm sorry if it's TMI.  


Firstly, I HAD foreplay.  Plenty of it.  EVERYTHING in my body was ready to go for it.  So don't give me crap about "you must not have been excited enough etc." because that simply wasn't the case.


IT HURT LIKE HELL.  I think I FELT that fucker rip apart- if I'd known it was going to hurt like that I probably wouldn't have been able to make myself go through with it.  It was like I was being stabbed.  He came pretty fast and that was a damn good thing because I was ready to have him out of there like immediately.  


Oh yeah, and the bleeding.  I bled like I was on the rag for three days- I had to wear a pad and everything (tampons were kind of out of the question at that time).  I saved myself for my fiance and our mattress still has a giant stain because even bleach can't get it out.  I literally found scraps of tissue around my hole that had to be cleared away.


The next month was an emotional nightmare.  Every time we'd try again, I would start to lose it because it hurt so much the first time and the memories would come back, which of course made it hurt the next several times.  Hell the first 2-3 times we tried after the initial encounter I tightened up so much out of fear that he couldn't even get it in.  We both wondered what in hell was wrong with us.   I was freaking out thinking he was going to leave me if we couldn't make this work, that I'd never be able to have babies, I was looking into getting these ring expander things that supposedly help train your vagina, you name it.  It was a total meltdown.


We did work through it, slowly and with a lot of one step forward two steps back, and sex is a happy fun time now.  But there is no way in hell you could have paid me to save myself for my wedding night in hindsight, which had been my original plan- some sixth sense told me not to and I am SO glad I listened to it.  Our wedding night would have been destroyed.  Our honeymoon would have been ruined.  


Obviously, my experience is an extreme and hopefully rare example, but every word of this story is true and the crazy shit you hear on the internet about losing one's virginity isn't 100% wrong.

Posted on April 22, 2010 at 1:09 pm
HeyHayles
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I really appreciate you sharing, Lilivati, because I definitely think those of us PWers in this group are more likely to be those who are (respectfully) more experienced sexually and this may mean that we don't have as many people to voice the other experience. 


I would say that foreplay and lube are SUPER important, but being relaxed and going slow/taking it easy is important too.  As Lili said, if you're stressed about it, you will be tighter and that can make it hard to have sex (or even impossible if you're SUPER stressed) or make it hurt more. 


Also, I would recommend you do a little research about what a hymen is and how it works.  I know I was personally quite confused about this (which was surprising since I'm pretty well educated) and learning more about what it is, where it is, and how it affects us during sex could be helpful to you. 


What I'd recommend you take away from all of these experiences, including Lili's, is that whatever it is, you'll get through it and you'll do it together.  Have sex with your partner when you and he are both ready and you'll work it out, whatever consequences may come.  Good luck! :)

Posted on April 22, 2010 at 5:18 pm
Mau
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The hyman is just a little tissue around  the whole,  it doesnt break normally, what happens is that it get streached and well can then tear.


How ever in rare cases the hyman is  so large that  yes, you bleed, it hurt and it  not nice, how ever if you bleed  you should go to the doctor, yes you should, cause in rare cases you can have hurt your self even more then just a tore hyman and most often if you bleed for 3 days you have gotten a tear in the vagina walls.


 


 


In Sweden we have busted the myth about the hyman  due to the  cases of  Arabic girls being forced to jump of balconies cause they are no longer virgins  according to their family  or girls going to get plastic sugery to make sure they  will bleed on the wedding night or girls going to the doctor to prove they are virgins.... which most doctors will say yes to cause they knoiw what can happen if they dont. How ever you cant look into some ones pussy and say if they are sexually active or not.


 


 

Posted on April 22, 2010 at 9:22 pm
amanda6033
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Sarah, I just love you! I was cracking up: BUT I loved the pain :) But I am a little bit of a masochist


And Lilivanti, omg, I know how bad it hurt. Mine was horrific; but I couldnt stop cracking up laughing.  I think I FELT that fucker rip apart, I barely made it past this.


I just love this group. My experience sucked too. But I couldnt get wet to save my life, and he didnt care, he just pushed right on through. IT HURT!

Posted on April 22, 2010 at 11:07 pm
Mau
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Well try fucks hurts!  Even now!


Lube is your best friend and lots of it!


Should say my first time was a rape, so yes that did hurt but I didnt bleed more then from my nose and mouth.


Second time, I was nervous, we laught alot and failed, third time he got it in and it felt weird but nice.

Posted on April 23, 2010 at 1:04 am
Lallysgirl
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Lallysgirl

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I am sooo glad it didn't hurt for me!! I don't think I would ever have sex again. but I do think that it is not the majority of women that have that level of discomfort. But then again.... my first husband, in hindsight had a little dick....no..no..I mean.. he was a little dick that had a little dick!!  my new one is so wonderful!!

Posted on May 4, 2010 at 7:47 pm
Mau
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Mau

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But if you bleed like one girl did here, then you should go to the doctor cause it isnt normal, that needs to be checked up so you dont end up with vaginal scaring.

Posted on May 4, 2010 at 9:35 pm
MountainBride
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07/12/2009
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Just an FYI 


Hey ladies!  I'm all for this group and love that people can be so open.  However, I want to issue a gentle reminder that regardless of *what* you talk about, the use of profanities is still a violation of our guidelines.


I don't want to delete the posts in this thread containing profanities, so please keep this in mind for the next time.  People understand when joining this group what the content is and join expecting some open conversation, but they don't join to hear profanities.  Just because the content of this group would be off-limits on the main board doesn't mean that it's also ok to bring profanities into the mix, if that makes sense :)    Thanks ladies!

Posted on May 5, 2010 at 1:54 am
meanyprice
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meanyprice

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I don't really remember it hurting after my first time, so it must not have been too bad. 

Posted on May 5, 2010 at 7:59 am
NicolenMoe
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umm im sorry it hurt , i know this is gonna sound bad but being a tad tipsy would probably help, i think it has a whole lot to do with your mind set .

Posted on May 5, 2010 at 3:00 pm
e.christensen
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Thank-you, Lilivati! I was wondering if I was the only one where it hurt a lot. I didn't bleed for three days but I did bleed a little and when we did it and I could actually feel my hymen breaking. I was sore for a few days after and FI was very slow and gentle with me for a while after.


Everyone's first time is different and it is important to keep that in mind.

Posted on May 7, 2010 at 2:24 am
akbridehi
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akbridehi

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Honestly, if you partake in any sexual action now (fingering, etc.), it may already be gone.  When I lost mine, it didn't really hurt.  I mean, it was uncomfortable because you are stretching for him, but it didn't hurt.  I only bled a little bit, and I was sore the next day, but it was not painful.  So excited for you!!

Posted on May 7, 2010 at 7:33 am
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