How should I involve my MIL?

We have a little under 6mo left and it has been brought to my attention that she feels left out. Thanks to my FI! smh...

I already decided on my dress and don't want to invite her to my fittings...I want the least amt of ppl to see my dress before the big day, so that's out.

We visited the venue for a 2nd time, but we have to go there for tasting and our planning meeting in a few wks. I'd prefer to not have anyone beside FI and I at the planning meeting to limit the chatter and extra suggestions, so that's out.

I guess we can go up there again to show her the venue but I WISHED FI would've invited his mom when I told him I'm bringing my mom...instead of possibly making another trip. I asked him why he doesn't update her on what's going on, he said, she doesn't ask :-/. That's btw them at this point....

I need some suggestions on how to include her...

Doubt we're having a rehearsal dinner, b/c we are certainly not paying for it.

 

Thx ladies.

Posted on March 24, 2014 at 11:36 am
Linnn
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NicoleJuliette
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Hmm, are there times that the two of you could just chat wedding? I'm sure she would like to hear about it!

What about wedding invites and centerpieces, how are those being put together? Is it something you can assemble as a group? Maybe invite you BMs and both Moms? 

Has she gotten her dress yet? You could offer to go look with her when that time comes?

Or what about BM dresses? My MIl came with us when we all went to try some on. (but her daughter was in the BP so that made a little more sense)

Could she go with you to the florist?

Posted on March 24, 2014 at 11:54 am
Linnn
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I guess I could go visit her to chat.

The centerpieces will be flowers etc, which we just visited the florist this past wknd. We didn't officially book but we'll most likely go w/ her. Then 3-4wks before the wedding, we have to go see samples etc, I would def invite her then. Invites are being done by a friend.

I like the idea of asking about her dress and probably going w/ her, my mom and my MOH.

I haven't officially asked my MOH b/c her job schedule really sucks and I didn't want to ask her over the phone. We have a date this Friday to go out, so hopefully she sticks to it. I bought her a "will you be my MOH" card that's really pretty.

Thanks for that suggestion. I will chk my moms schedule and try to set something up.

 

 

Posted on March 24, 2014 at 12:34 pm
holly_marie_53
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03/06/2014
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 I always let my MIL what was going on and what I was planning. I let her help with small projects here and there. 

Posted on March 24, 2014 at 12:46 pm
Linnn
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good for you holly_marie. your dynamic may be different from mine.

Posted on March 24, 2014 at 2:17 pm
Uhlease
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Uhlease

 It can be hard at time, because I think I was like you Linn, I pretty much wanted FI and I to be making the decisions, giving feedback, etc. But I know my MIL wanted to be part of it. I definitely think dress shopping is a great idea, because then the focus is on her and you can talk wedding while she looks for a dress? Even the smallest thing will probably mean something to her. I spray painted bottles, and while I could have done that myself, she offered her backyard, so we made a day out of it and spray painted. I know linens are provided by the venue usually but i borrowed some purple ones from a friend that needed to be ironed. Thank goodness my MIL helped with that :) that sort of thing? It usually gets easier the closer the time comes. There's not much that moms and mil's can do before that six month mark so no worries! but just chatting with her might make her feel better ;0

Posted on March 24, 2014 at 2:49 pm
Linnn
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 update: we went dress shopping...my mom and MIL. We had a good time. We didn't find anything, but its a start.

I rescheduled the planning meeting and MIL will come to the cake tasting and menu tasting....that's 2 days off..fine but i do need to use my days wisely!

Posted on April 17, 2014 at 2:51 pm
MrsL2015
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I am going to ask my MIL to help with some of the small things like asking her to help me come up with some ideas for our favors. She's a crafty person so I know that she would enjoy that sort of thing.

Posted on April 18, 2014 at 6:36 am
NicoleJuliette
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 Oh perfect, I'm glad you found a way to involve her and that it went well! I'm sure she was so happy!

Posted on April 18, 2014 at 8:17 am
jackieblack07
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Well that’s a really a good gesture that you want to involve your MIL ,but  you don’t require any special way to invite her just try to speak her about the situation casually and that’s it. 

Posted on April 22, 2014 at 4:57 am

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