how to remember my dad

hi. . . so this is my first time posting anything like this. . . i'm getting married this saturday, and am still trying to figure a couple things out.  my dad died very suddenly on april 26th, and my fiance and i really want to honor him during our wedding day.  i am setting up a table with some pictures of him at the reception site, and having some candles there.  i am trying to decide if i want to have something brief read about him during our ceremony and have a candle lit for him there also.  i know the day is going to be really hard, and i won't be able to stop thinking about him.  i just want to make sure other people remember him there also.  he did a lot for me and my fiance, and he was the best father in the whole world. . . and would have been the best father in law too.  i don't know if it would be too much to have something read about my dad. . . it might be too sad or something, but it's definitely important to me and i owe him so much. . . . any thoughts?

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 9:14 am
mwilde
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06/28/2008
mwilde

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(14) Comments

prbetsi75
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05/08/2010
prbetsi75

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oh mwilde, I'm so sorry!  I have no advice but got all teary eyed reading your post!

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 9:17 am
beautifulpwwedding
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09/20/2008

beautifulpwwedding

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Posted on June 24, 2008 at 9:17 am
neebelung
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09/27/2008
neebelung

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neebelung

Ohh, I'm so sorry..... :(


I like the empty chair, and the reading above... it's not specific to the point that it will bring down the celebratory mood, but it will give everyone (esp you) a moment to reflect on him.

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 9:19 am
Eugugoly82
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10/10/2008
Eugugoly82

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Oh my Kohler! That reading almost me made cry!  I hope you dont mind if I use that also.  I have a lot of family on my side that have passed on.  To remember my grandfather, I am going to be tying his wedding ring, that my grandma let me borrow, to my bouquet.  I havent figured out what I was going to do for my other grandparents yet.  I was also going to do a reading for my father, but people are right, I dont know if I could make it through a reading without balling my eyes out. :o( 

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 9:28 am
beautifulpwwedding
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09/20/2008

beautifulpwwedding

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Posted on June 24, 2008 at 9:33 am
abattyref
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10/06/2007
abattyref

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The reading above is really beautiful. It makes a statement in remembrance, but it isn't long and drawn out.


I saw this idea on offbeatbride.com last week and I thought it could be a little way to have your dad with you as you walk down the aisle.


http://offbeatbride.com/2008/06/wedding-memorial


 


The reading above is photo 45626-1

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 9:42 am
beautifulpwwedding
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09/20/2008

beautifulpwwedding

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Posted on June 24, 2008 at 9:44 am
SandP09
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03/14/2009
SandP09

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I think all of the advice the girls have given you are beautiful. I really don't think you can go wrong. This is something personal for you to decide. Whichever way you choose, your dad will be remembered. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 9:44 am
caribear
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05/18/2008
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mwilde~ I can't imagine what you are going through.  My grandma died suddenly on April 26th as well.  My wedding was 3 weeks later and at the rehearsal I had a major breakdown because she wasn't there.  The day of my wedding I had her wedding ring tied to my bouquet.  We had decided early on that we were going to have a lantern hanging and lit at the beginning of the ceremony (when those that weren't there would normally have walked down the aisle).  My cousin did the lighting and it was very sweet.  I am glad I didn't witness it though because I would have had ugly crying pictures. 


It will already be a hard day without your dad there.  We also put something similar to what kohler posted in our programs.  I had always liked the decorated chair idea, but it would have been too hard for me to see it empty like that. 


And above all else, remember that it is a day of celebration.  Your dad will be there celebrating with you and he won't want you to be sad on your big day.

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 9:53 am
jackieg
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04/17/2009
jackieg

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i think i'm going to use Kohler's quote in my program!!  it's very sweet!!

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 10:27 am
jharks
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10/11/2008
jharks

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So sorry for your loss honey!


I think the empty chair would make me cry everytime I saw it. We are going to have a moment of silence durring the ceremony followed by lighting a candle "to honor those who couldn't be with us in body, but are with us always in spirit." Maybe, if you have another man in the family you are super close with, when they ask who gives you away, he can say that, on behalf of your father, he is proud to pass along his blessing... ok, tears at work, not a good thing. So sorry again, it is never easy and I think you are an amazing daughter, and he must have been an amazing father, for you to want to honor his memory in a special way.


Good luck and my thoughts with you and your family.

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 11:30 am
moemarsita
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07/06/2008
moemarsita

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I've also seen people have a single, vased flower on the altar, with a note in the program about the person who it represents.

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 11:35 am
spi
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06/04/2004
spi

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I'm so sorry, that is so difficult.  You could write out something short for the program and maybe include his picture in a locket for your bouquet.  My grandfather died a few weeks before my wedding and we held a chair for him and celebrated his life along with our new life.  Hugs, b

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 1:03 pm
mrs.carlo1934
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05/29/2010
mrs.carlo1934

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mrs.carlo1934

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I am doing what Kohler suggested.  I am having an empty chair with a rose on it at the ceremony for my dad.  I will also carry his picture in a locket in my bouquet so he will walk with me down the aisle.  At the reception we will have a memory table for all our loved ones that are gone.  You can also light a memory candle at the ceremony.

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 1:11 pm

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