How to sate the disapproving FI!? I cant win! (long winded)
So i feel that realististically i can only afford a 3,000 wedding with wiggle room a little above that. so i've been looking so hard to find more affordable options. anything that is "typical" reception space has been 6,000+ and most of them are in locations that i really dont want! (read golf courses!! ugh) so i finally got a price qoute from my old parrish to use their fellowship hall.
so im thinking ok, so its not the prettiest setting (its pretty plain) but i get my church wedding, and a reception in the same city (so its convient for my FI's parents and grandma...) Their asking 600 for 8 hours including use of their kitchen. (this is for non members, i guess im no longer a member because i havent attended in a long time. i can discuss this with pastor i assume whenever i schedule a meeting.)
So i tell my FI what i thought was good news! They quoted us 600! and penciled in for our original date of 2/14/14! Awesome right? No... he says thats too much DIY yourself and that he refuses to work the day of or the day before the wedding. :(
I also mentioned that to cut costs we could do a morning wedding and have a brunch type deal with just desserts, and again he said No! that its wrong not to feed his guests and that he wants to sit down and eat. :(
I'm super frustrated and all we do is fight. Keep in mind i gave up on my dream ceramony in my dream church, (mostly because it would have been 1,500+other fees, is 2 hours away and because i have gotten no positive responces from any of the catholic churches ive spoken with.) I'll probably have to give up on my second choice which was an awesome idea in an old theatre from 1920's... because it too is 2 hours away and because they would not have room to sit down 100 guests for a seated dinner. and my main choice which is an hour away and nice, has yet to to talk to me and is probably going to cost over 6,000! i dont want a cookie cutter wedding and i want to do something DIY so it has something of me/us in it... and shows some of our personality. is this so wrong?
How can i get him to reconsider or to be reasonable?? i dont know what to do! I'm pulling my hair out. I mean keep in mind these qoutes that are 6,000+ are just for venue and food... no cake, no dj, no decorations, no nothing... (one of them did included an estimated open bar of just beer and wine (but its on a golf course and id have to find somewhere else to have the ceramony, i have yet to hear from the other one about beverages... )
For either of those there is nothing to cut costs other then offering no liquar or cash bar... and it seems like everyone frowns on a cash bar.
my priorities were simple:
-not spend an arm a leg and a soul.
-have my friends and family that im close to there
- have an awesome photographer (i really think the photos and hopefully if budget allows, videographer are really important!)
- have a church wedding (depending on the situation i can take or leave this, but in an ideal world i would love for it to happen this way)
- get married somewhere that is visually interesting. (i know its vain to want this, but if im going to pay 1,000+ for great pics, shouldnt there be something interesting to look at besides me and the groom? not to mention id like to be able to be in a place that inspires me! when i walked down the isle of the church i wanted, i almost cried. when i hung out in the theatre after the movie we watched i was beaming from ear to ear because every nook and cranny oozed with charm and personality and details)
i dont really care about what food im eating as long as its something i'll actually eat! nothing frilly and i cant even pronounce. simple and tasty. (which is why i liked the desert idea. everyone loves desert! <3) i dont care about having an epic wedding cake of doom! if i can afford to have a nice pretty one, cool... if not, oh well. so long as i have something symbolic of the cake. if someone wants to bake me a cake awesome! if not im perfectly happy with a simple white cake from publix or sweet bay that i decorate myself with some flowers.
when i ask him what are his priorities, all he tells me is he wants his guests to be treated nicely (yah know because i was totally going to beat them senseless) that he absolutly wants food and thinks its ludicris for me to suggest a dessert only reception, and that he wants no part of decorating or DIY'ing it. (what he fails to realise the place he wants the most, we still have to DIY and decorate it... and its an hour away and we are not allowed to go in the day before to decorate... because its a club and they cant have it decorated for a wedding because the members get mad.)
... countinued in the next post....