I am never in the mood anymore...

I don't know why this is happening! FI and I used to have sex at least 4 or 5 times a week which I though was a pretty healthy sex life. Now we have sex maybe 1 a week and sometimes not even. I don't know why. He is frustrated (although is being more patient then I would have ever expected) How can I fix this? What can I do? I am even thinking about going to the doctor. This has been going on for about 6 months and we have been together for about 4 years and engaged for the last year and a half. I am stressed out but I don't know how to relieve the stress. This is just adding more stress. I have no desire at all to have sex

Posted on February 22, 2010 at 3:33 pm
Corriemarshall
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07/17/2010
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(6) Comments

jennypaul87
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04/30/2016
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have you had a change in your level of stress? I know being stressed kills it for me, it's beyond just "dealing" with it, there are a lot of hormonal things that go on with stress that add to it. Also, have you just started the pill, changed your diet, etc? There are SO many factors that go in to your libido. Just remember it's perfectly normal and something you can work through!

Posted on February 22, 2010 at 3:52 pm
amanda6033
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05/15/2010
amanda6033

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ditto. When I started working night shift right after I had Lauren, I actually loathed sex. After 7 months or so of just doing it to go through the motions, I got used to night shift, Lauren became easier to manage, and my school schedule got easier. Then it was "bom chicca womwam" time again

Posted on February 22, 2010 at 6:16 pm
SavannahBride
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03/06/2010
SavannahBride

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I've been feeling the same way lately. FI and I have still been having sex 4 or 5 times a week but its only because FI has been initiating it. I just haven't been in the mood. I had a gyno appointment today and talked to her about the possibility of my BCP affecting it. She said BCPs are not SUPPOSED to have any affect like that but she's heard of it happening. She switched me to a different kind so we'll see what happens! I'm crossing my fingers that it works! :)

Posted on February 26, 2010 at 9:21 am
GinaBEE
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09/01/2012
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well, after 8 years of vairous times of "lots of sex" to "not so much sex" all i can say, is work on it! we have to make a point to turn each other on, even when we are exhausted, stressed, etc.


i just posted about wearing wigs in the bedroom and assuming and ultra-sexy "up for anything" role in bed


also, i catch myself turning him down when he gropes me under the covers at night, so instead of rolling over to sleep, i stop and explore it... remember you have to let yourself be in the mood to get in the mood (a good romp will help you sleep better anyways!)


and...i find that there are times we are not in sync with being in the mood, but if i'm horny and he's already sleeping...i just wake him up with my nakedness and he's all for it, like surprise sex!


try to be more creative, talk about each other's fantasies, don't turn down advances (even if full-blown sex doesn't happen...a good ole fashion making out is nice)


again, it's a process, and after years of ups and downs sexually, there are always ways to swing it back up :)

Posted on March 1, 2010 at 11:49 am
Niecy
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09/06/2006
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Have you told him about it? ...and that your not sure why? ...like do you two discuss it?


I was in a total funk ...I think I even posted about it in this group .... One night after "tolerating"  intercourse for him .... he asked me what was wrong afterwards and I let it all out ... how I just didn't feel in the mood all the things that are stressing me and making me tired that I thought may be affecting it , how on top of all that I felt "pressured"  because I knew he wanted it and I just couldn't get in the mood .... and how much it had been bothering me because I love him and do want him but just had no desire to do it .... I cried and he listened to every word ... and then let me fall asleep ...we talked about it more the next day and I don't know why but I'm back to normal and have even gotten back to the point of being playful and being the initiator .... 


If you haven't talked about it at length with him already maybe it will help ....i don't know why it worked for me ..... other than maybe hearing myself talk about it and him really listening and understanding helped me get over some issues I was having and made me more determined to fix this ....


Good Luck!

Posted on March 2, 2010 at 5:47 am
kalenalena
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09/24/2011
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I can totally relate!


FI and I used to DTD every chance we got...now, not so much. He's generally not home until after midnight due to school/work, and I'm asleep by then. And other times, well, I just don't feel like it.


It's almost like I got used to going without, and now I can't be bothered.


I try to do like Gina's suggested. When he starts to groping about, even if I reeeeeally just want to go to bed already, I find that if I just let it happen I totally get into it, and end up thanking him later for reminding me that sex is awesome.


One thing that I find affects my sex drive is my level of exercise. When I'm working out every day (or at least 5x/wk) I have a much higher sex drive then when I'm being a lazy bum around the house. I generally have more energy when I'm more active.

Posted on March 2, 2010 at 2:03 pm

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