I can't believe it ....

One of my best friends really disappointed me today. My goal this month was to have all the BMs fitted and set with their dresses... Some are out of town and some are here near me... Only one was able to try her drew on and it looked lovely. I get everyone is busy but I don't like that my friend made it seem like I was overdoing it by asking for her to come try on her dress. Then she criticizes the dress . I showed her the dress a year ago girls.. A year ago!!!! She liked it then... What changed??? And why give me a hard time?? She proceeds to later tell me in out heated discussion (texting) that my wedding is not at the top of her list. Of course it's not at the top of her list I never asked for it to be at the too of her list since all I'm asking is that she try on her stupid dress ! So I decided to not say anything else about it ever again .... She can look lost the month of the wedding.,,I'm done with going above and beyond for people and they say things like I don't matter to them.... This is a really short form of the story.... Just disappointed l.that it's almost 4 months until my wedding and my best friend tells me this... I want her out.... But I am waiting for her to tell me... 

Just want ant to vent......

Posted on November 27, 2013 at 11:13 pm
MnP2013
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(9) Comments

Canooknic
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 I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with drama this close to your big day.

Just playing devil's advocate here but is there maybe something going on in her life that she hasn't told you about that has made her overreact to such a simple request? I'm assuming (because she's your bestie!) that this behaviour isn't normal so maybe she's trying to deal with something and has unfortunately taken it out on you?.....maybe?

Posted on November 27, 2013 at 11:26 pm
Bated_breath
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 Oh, i am really sorry to hear that.

You'd better be silent for a while and then talk to her seriously. 

If you guys are not be able to find a compromise, she'd better quit..

Just don't stress about it too much. You surely want to be surrounded with love and care on your special day.

Posted on November 27, 2013 at 11:52 pm
MnP2013
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 @canooknic, she's been fighting health issues and she's now getting back on her feet. I get that she's been going through a lot. I really do. I've been talking to her being positive for her been to the hospital.. But because I know her... I know she doesn't like the dress and is stalling because of that.. I've only asked her twice this month to have her try on the dress so we can match her body type... She keeps saying she doesn't feel comfortable... Ivehelped her with her wedding,, I've been in threeweddings (MOH AT ALL OFF THEM) the one time I need my best friend to comply... She doesn't want to.. This one thing I'm asking of her... She doesn't want to listen..she took it there when she said my wedding isn't at the top of her list. I didn't want it to be... I don't assume it should be. But trying on a simple dress shouldn't be a big deal.. I've showed her all my ideas from January and she was on board with all of it... Now when it's almost four months till the wedding she does this....

 

i ve be a few more outfits I need the seamstress to make.. I want to get it all out of the way because she could be busy closer to my wedding with other clients so why not take advantage now n make sure your dress looks right before she rushes and it doesn't look right? 

 

Posted on November 28, 2013 at 6:58 am
Canooknic
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 It's a shame that she's being like this. You are clearly being very understanding of her situation and have tried not to pressure her but she does need to step up and help you out.

i hope she can put whatever issues she has aside so she can celebrate your day with you xx

Posted on November 28, 2013 at 9:44 am
Fearce
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 Give it some time and them have another heart to heart. Do you think there is a possibility of her no longer wanting to be a bridesmaid?

Posted on December 2, 2013 at 12:09 pm
JaxBchKay
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I'm wondering if the fact that she used to like the dress and now doesn't is because of the illness she has been dealing with?  Being sick can actually change your body a lot (not always for the better) and that can be making her feel very down on herself.  Perhaps you could ask her if she wants to maybe wear a different dress.  If she sees you going out of your way to make her comfortable maybe she will be reminded that you are her best friend first, and a bride second.  Your friendship should last a lot longer than your wedding day, so if it is too much for her to participate maybe you could also reassure her that if she can't participate it's ok, you will still be friends.  Give her some graceful options and you might be surprised by her response.  

Posted on December 2, 2013 at 12:22 pm
MnP2013
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 Thank you all for your concern and encouragement. Here is the update:

 

 I asked her to step down as a bridesmaid and requested that she and her husband (who is a groomsman) can be guests of honors instead. She Told me she didn't want me to be stressed over the planning and accepted my request. Another bridesmaid has stepped down and let me tell you... I am so relieved. They were the ones that were giving me a headache and I'm bummed they're out because they're like my besties but sometimes you just gotta let them go for a little bit.

 

Posted on December 3, 2013 at 9:11 am
jmbuss9
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I am so sorry. Her being your best friend she should of felt horrored and happy to be in your wedding. I see it as those who are acting like its a "job" to be in someones wedding  SHOULDN"T be in it at all. Yes it shouldn't be at the top of her list but it should be almost damn near. It is an important day for you and her as a bestfriend should be excited and happy for you in the way that she would want to get things done.

 

Posted on December 3, 2013 at 9:22 am
jmbuss9
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Just read your comment above mine. That's good, now you don't have to deal with the extra stress and you can go on about planning your big day! I had a BM back out 3 days before the wedding, and on top of that, she didn't even tell me, I couldn't get a hold of her or anything, so I just took her out. Haven't really talked to her since then. (She didn't even come to the wedding).

I feel like it all worked out for the perfect reason. I am SO glad she got out and wasn't in on my big day. I mean not that I hate her, or anything, just love how everything turned out for the better!

Posted on December 3, 2013 at 9:37 am

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