I hate our boy name :(

I know it's perhaps too early to be talking about this, but I HATE our boy name and DH won't budge. As long as I've known him he's wanted to name his first son after his Dad and Grandfather, bothed Laurence Daniel. I HATE hate hate hate hate laurence (apologies to anyone whose son/father/brother/husband is laurence), but I was willing to compromise because I thought we could call him by a middle name.


For a while he wanted to do Daniel, but I thought that seem as how there's already two living laurence daniels...and i hate the nickname Dan AND Danny...that we could do better. Then he came up with Neal (his middle name) and THAT is where he settled. Laurence Neal.


I'm sorry, but i hate almost everything about it. Laurence is the worst...both dad and grandpa are called "Larry" and I will die if my son is Larry. DIE. Neal is OK, I guess...but it's spelled wrong and I hate that. Plus...neal...ew. I would never choose that if it weren't Colin's own middle name.


I don't know what to do. I feel torn because he LOVES the name. He's super close to his dad and grandpa and loves that the baby will be named in part after him...and Neal is a family name as well. He refuses to even discuss the option of something different because "I already agreed to it." I tell him...nothing is freaking agreed to until there's a baby and  it's on a birth certificate.


I guess I either need A. condolances, B. reasons why this is OK or C. Ways to make him budge.


Boo :(

Posted on August 12, 2011 at 3:14 am
katierose0324
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(38) Comments

katierose0324
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katierose0324

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PS: Apologies if I sound like a snot....I've actually been really leniant with his feelings on this one, but I can't hold it in anymore haha.

Posted on August 12, 2011 at 3:17 am
lanieromero
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It's ok to feel as if you dont want that name for your baby because you have to call your child that for the rest of its life. Names are very important in my family & in DH's. So we are going with our fathers first names for a boy or our grandmother's first names for a girl. My DH wanted to name our son Joshua Nathaniel and thought he would be a junior because he would have my husband's first name. Kinda had to correct him on that one. But maybe you can just work on your DH a little bit at a time to see your side of things as well. HTH

Posted on August 12, 2011 at 3:38 am
October9_2010Bride
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Awww....this is a tough one.  We are still TTC...hopefully this is our month :) but we have already had the name talk.  His grandfather and fathers name is James and we have decided that if we have a son it will be his middle name. 


If I were in your place I would come up with a few first name suggestions and present them to your DH and maybe he could have two middle names. 


Colin Lawrence Neal _______


Jackson Lawrence Daniel ________


Since you still have time maybe one of the names you suggest your DH will really like! 

Posted on August 12, 2011 at 3:43 am
Alliesauce
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Oh Katie, I'd be freaking too!!  My daughter has a kid in her class named Leonard, and it's just such an old man name.  LOL-  What if you compromise and do what October suggested, give him 2 middle names OR maybe just honor the name by using something more modern and similar or maybe even something that starts with the same letter?


I also found several variations online: 


Lawrence has 46 variant forms: Larance, Laranz, Larenz, Larrance, Larrence, Larrens, Larrey, Larry, Lars, Laurance, Lauren, Laurence, Laurens, Laurent, Laurentios, Laurentius, Laurenz, Laurie, Laurits, Lauritz, Lavrans, Lavrens, Lawrance, Lawrey, Lawrie, Lawry, Lenci, Lon, Lonny, Lorance, Lorant, Loren, Lorenc, Lorence, Lorencz, Lorens, Lorentz, Lorenz, Lorenzen, Lorenzo, Lorin, Loritz, Lorrence, Lorrenz, Lorry and Lowrance.


Side note: my sister's soccer coach growing up was Loren, I always thought it was kind of a cool name for a guy.

Posted on August 12, 2011 at 3:52 am
October9_2010Bride
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I've always liked the name Lorin for a boy after reading The Knight of Maison Rouge :)

Posted on August 12, 2011 at 4:01 am
alisonandjake
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DH's brother passed away at a young age so all of the boys promised that their first born son will have his name as a middle name. That is great...I am totally on board for that. However, he wanted to pick the first name too. I stood my ground and told him we each get to pick a name so I would pick the first name as long as he could agree on it. We are having a girl so it ended up not being a fight yet but DH was willing to compromise and so was I. If he wants to honor his dad and grandpa I think that is wonderful. But your say is just as important as it is just as much your child.


I like the suggestions given already with the two middle names or changing it up a little bit. If he is standing his ground, then you can stand yours too ;-)

Posted on August 12, 2011 at 4:45 am
Kelly2bG
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I went through the same thing with my DH. His Grandpas name was Francis Eugene, but he went by Sam (dont ask, I dont know). DH told me when we were first dating that he would name his first child Samuel or Samantha after his grandpa. I used to be a teacher and had a kid named Sam who cried constantly and was so whiny and his image was the only thing I saw when I heard the name. I tried to get DH to name our Chihuahua Sammy so we couldnt use it for our kid, lol!


However, the name really grew on me and now I love it. When I hear the name Sam I dont picture that kid anymore, I picture my son and couldnt imagine him being named anything else.


I would try to sit down with him and talk with him about it. I think both parents need to agree on the name and if one hates it, then the kid shouldnt be called that. Some kind of compromise needs to be made. Maybe say he can choose one of those names to be the first or middle name and you get to choose the other?


I think I definitely had it a bit easier with Sam, than you do with Laurence. Id be putting my foot down on that one. Sorry!

Posted on August 12, 2011 at 4:59 am
38chi
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I know people with two first names as their formal full name. Then you and they can choose which to go by... possibility?
Posted on August 12, 2011 at 5:39 am
onetxjewel
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I like Neal....it makes me think if the hotty a few years back on So You Think You Can Dance!  If that makes you feel any better! :)  I like the idea of Lorin too...it's totally different and unique!!

Posted on August 12, 2011 at 6:50 am
Missie1284
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I think you both need to be happy with the name. I would bring it up with my husband again and come to some sort of compromise. Maybe use either Lawrence or Daniel as the middle name and pick a first name you both agree on? It's not fair that you hate the name your husband wants if you have a boy. It's his kid too, but YOU are the one carrying the child and have to go through labor and delivery, so I think it's important for you to have a say and like the name too. Just because you "already agreed" doesn't mean you can't change your mind!

Posted on August 12, 2011 at 7:09 am
katierose0324
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He agreed we could discuss it....yay :) That's at least a step in the right direction!

Posted on August 12, 2011 at 7:28 am
BlingBride22
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Did you say Dad, Grandpa and brother? So is it a passed down name? Is his brother deceased? I would think his brother would like to pass down the name no? If the name wasn't passed down to your DH then he probably shouldn't use it and let your BIL use it kwim?

Posted on August 12, 2011 at 7:52 am
nikolaiweddings
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Yeah, my FIL is named Lawrence and DH's middle name is the same. As much as I like my FIL, I couldn't name my boy Lawrence. I just can't. DH is named after his dad and grandpa, so I'm sure the family is expecting us to name a boy accordingly. Sorry, not happening. I come from the school of thought of "If it comes out of my vagina, I get to name it."


DH wanted to name our Alexandra "Alice." I just couldn't do it. I wanted to name her Brinley Grace. Well, we compromised. He still gets to call her Allie and I get to feel like my child has a decent name, lol. 

Posted on August 12, 2011 at 8:11 am
prinncessjennifer
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Ugh - I totally feel your pain...My DH is greek and the tradition is to name your children after someone in your family, usually the grandfather.  I was fine with this since my DH dad's name is Elias (his dad has passed), I actually love that name.  Long story short DH decided he wanted George...I hate that name :( Luckly he finally agreed if it's a boy to name him Elias but my MIL still thinks it should be George.

Posted on August 12, 2011 at 8:18 am
katierose0324
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He doesnt have a brother, its just his dad and grandpa with the name. His name is completely different...because his own mother hated the name enough not to use it.


We did "discuss" it over lunch. He's being pouty about it....agreed to talk about it, but subsequently vetoed every single alternative I gave him (I probably threw 20 alternatives out there). He even said he would do "Colin Laurence" but Colin is HIS name, and I want the kid to have their own name. There aren't enough nicknames for Colin or Laurence to use it for a baby without them having to use one or the other and there being a lot of confusion. Basically if it's not some combination of Laurence, Colin and NEal...he's not having it. It's sort of pissing me off, to be honest.


I think I'm going to have to stand my ground long enough for him to realize I'm dead seroius...we are not going to name the kid Laurence Neal no matter how many other names he vetos. I wish I hadn't been so wishy washy about it from the beginning. Before we got pregnant we used to talk names all the time and I sort of preliminarily said Laurence Neal was ok...but now that it is potentially getting attached to a real child, I hate it more and more with every passing day.

Posted on August 12, 2011 at 8:25 am
prinncessjennifer
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Fingers crossed it's a girl so you don't have to fight that battle :)

Posted on August 12, 2011 at 8:28 am
MsMac
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Ugh.  I hope you find a compromise.  If I were in your shoes, I'd go with Laurence as the first name and then choose a middle name that will be the name that you'll use as his nickname.  Maybe he'll be more open to negotiating about the middle name. 


And- just to throw this out there- my parents said they never settled on a name until they saw the kid and they changed my brother's name to one that they both didn't like before birth b/c they knew that it fit him.  We have a few ideas on the name, but won't decide until we see him.  Maybe you can agree to decide on the name at birth (or at least the name that he'll go by if it ends up being a nick name).


Good luck!

Posted on August 12, 2011 at 9:00 am
plumcrush01
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So sorry you are dealing with this :/  I like Allie's idea about putting a modern twist on it.  My friend chose to use a family name from her husband's side & so her son's name is Homer!  Not sure that makes you feel any better but Laurence is far better than Homer.  I hope you guys come to a mutual decision soon ((hugs))

Posted on August 12, 2011 at 9:19 am
katierose0324
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I thought about waiting until birth but I feel like that might result in a huge argument right after the kid is born if we don't iron it out first. I would have nothing but angst if I didn't know the name before hand...the entire birth process I feel like I'd be fixated on the name, or lack thereof.


I will keep you updated! I think it doesn't help that he's on a trip right now so I thin kits harder to reject everything outright over the phone. If we sit down face to face and I tell him to give it up, I think he'll respond better.

Posted on August 12, 2011 at 9:26 am
Missie1284
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Definitely talk face to face.


I totally agree with the poster who said that "if it comes out of my vagina, I get to name it." You need to love the name! Good luck talking with your DH!

Posted on August 12, 2011 at 9:59 am
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