I'll Pencil You In...

So, my FI say's last night that we rarely DTD when he asks and that we have gotten into a habit of "scheduling" DTD.  I was like, "No way"! And he says that yes we do becuase if he asks me for "it" I'll tell him maybe tororrow and it may or may not happen or we won't until a few days later.


Back-up:  Now my FI is 12 years my junior so his libido is much stronger than mine at this point, when we first got together almost 4 years ago, it was an "everyday/every minute" we were alone thing. But now that we are settled into the relationship I admit the sex is lacking.  It's not that I don't want to, but it seems that after working, picking up the kids, coming home and straightening up, cooking, and helping with homework, after I finally sit down I am tired and the last thing I want is sex. 


Also he is a late night person and can stay up, where I am an early bird who goes to bed pretty much after the kids do (9:30 pm).  So that doesn't help either.   


How do/would you ladies handle this situation without feeling as if you are penciling in time to DTD?     


 

Posted on May 4, 2011 at 9:29 am
2nd_tymebride
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2nd_tymebride

2nd_tymebride

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(2) Comments

jennypaul87
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04/30/2016
jennypaul87

jennypaul87

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jennypaul87

Hmm, well I'm not in the same life situation as you so I don't kno whow helpful I can be, but I'll try! I understand the being-tired part, for sure, but it sounds like your FI is trying to open up to you about feeling as if one of the ways he enjoys conecting with you is lacking. I think that while he should appreciate the fact that you're tired, you should compromise and make a stronger effort to help out as well. I know I read somewhere about a similar situation and the sex therapist recommnded just making yourself commit to doing it- you're tired, yes, but it doesn't have to be an hours-long marathon and once you get started you'll be in the mood and enjoy it too. Then both of you are happier- it's win-win. Maybe just make an effort to talk yourself up about it during the day, spend some time focusing on wanting to be with him, saving some energy and desire for it. If you hype it up to yourself, I bet you'll find it's easier! I hope things work out!

Posted on May 23, 2011 at 3:24 pm
miss*bling
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miss*bling

miss*bling

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miss*bling

I hear ya- busy lives long work hours stress then when you get home you are tired- I have always been in relationships where teh man cannot get enough sex- Maybe try some movies etc. to get you in the mood and then go for just quickies

Posted on May 24, 2011 at 6:50 am

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