I'm really disappointed. I need to complain.

Okay okay so I know we're not supposed to compare our weddings to each others...but we all do right? Well...after spending some time on PW and seeing people's wedding-night suites and reception/ceremony venues and wedding-cars I'm getting really really disappointed with the resources I've been given. I am disappointed because:



  • I had to book our venues without ever seeing them because I wouldn't be in town until 6 weeks before the wedding and OF COURSE no one here makes websites for themselves so I just had to try to go off pictures FI gave me. As a result I totally HATE my ceremony site. It's right next to a major road and I have nightmares that some jerk on a motorcycle revvs by in the middle of our vows...and to top that there's no power so we have to find a generator for our sound system. They chopped all of what used to be big bushes next to our grassy area down to stumps so we're getting married next to stumps. Annnd to top THAT there is a random patch of cement right next to the stumps. Stumps and cement....how pretty.

  • I always wanted to leave the ceremony by carriage. There aren't any here and to top that off all of the limos in town have been booked so I have to hire a rental car that probably won't be white and try and find someone to drive it. I don't know what to do.

  • Our reception venue is so far from what I had in mind. I see other brides dancing in gorgeous rooms with chandeliers and tall windows and soft lighting...ours is a restaurant at a motel and is nothing special. I wish I could afford to just drape the whole room in white fabric and hide it. Also, the door to the bathrooms are on the wall in the same room as where people are eating...so someone will be eating not 10 feet from the toilet. Yummy.

  • I always pictured my wedding night/day after the wedding in a lavish suite complete with in-room jacuzzi and a canopy bed and balcony...you know the type. Yeah, in this small town we can only manage your typical 4 star business suite. Not exactly romantic. :(


I strongly believe that I will enjoy my wedding day because FI will be there and I love him so much and really all that matters is the two of us getting married. But...I can't help but be disappointed at all of the above. They just don't have anything like what I wanted here, we're doing the best we can with what we have but it's just sad because this is the only time we get to do this and I wish it could look like it does in my head. I just needed a place to complain where people wouldn't feel offended like I'm saying it's not good enough here or something. yeah...just needed to.

Posted on June 15, 2009 at 3:28 am
theprincessbride
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theprincessbride

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(31) Comments

jesandshan
5
08/20/2011
jesandshan

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jesandshan

I'm sorry for the stress.... take a deep breath and let go! As you said:


"I strongly believe that I will enjoy my wedding day because FI will be there and I love him so much and really all that matters is the two of us getting married"


Just keep that as your mantra and try to fix the pieces you can and forget the pieces that you can't fix.


And remember you are getting married in 6 weeks!! Yeah!!

Posted on June 15, 2009 at 3:33 am
MrsAnderson
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11/20/2009
MrsAnderson

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Ahhh hugs...big ones. I am so sorry that nothing is what you invisioned. But in the end you are completely right that this day is about you and FI. When you are up there saying your vows nothing else will matter. I know it will be beautiful. Keep your head up. It is hard to plan a wedding from a gazillion miles away so for that you get an A++!

Posted on June 15, 2009 at 3:35 am
jbl04d
5
06/20/2009
jbl04d

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I'm sorry princess. I also have doubts about how my ceremony will look-in a super small town there wasn't that much to choose from. And I do have my moments when I think "I wish I could get married in a venue as beautiful as some of these other ladies" but I have left that behind and will just focus on getting married-that's all I want right now. So hopefully you will get to feeling better like I did.

Posted on June 15, 2009 at 3:38 am
FMIL
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FMIL

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Princess....dont stress...I know as the "mother" I sometimes get very discouraged also that I cant give Katie & Brandon more as far as the wedding goes....Sometimes we need to take a step back and remember....it will be you and your family and friends that make the day and night memorable NOT the buildings!!!  The fun and laughter and memories will come from the what people said and did not the "stuff".   Believe me..I understand but also....in a few years you will get other opportunities that really matter and make a difference to have your WOW factor.  Please dont dwell on it focus on the great parts of this day. 


Take that frown and turn it upside down.....(i know...korney...my kids think so too)


By the way...from your BIO...it looks like it is going to be BEAUTIFUL!  I think nerves may be taking over ;-)

Posted on June 15, 2009 at 3:39 am
Soon2bMrsW
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04/17/2010
Soon2bMrsW

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Ugh... I am so sorry it is not everything that you hope for. Focus on the positive... your FI, your family, and your friends. They will be what make your wedding everything you dreamed of. I sometimes feel exactly this way. I have a few cousins getting married and I don't think my wedding will measure up style wise to what they have so I can't help but feel disappointed but I have to remember the above. HUGS!!!

Posted on June 15, 2009 at 3:48 am
soon2bMRStip
5
09/12/2009
soon2bMRStip

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soon2bMRStip

UGHHHHHHH well that SUCKS!!!


I mean I know this is not what you have dreamed about and planned your whole life but I am sure everything will work out and come together and everything will be beautiful... Like you said this day is about you and your FI and the importance you hold to one another so at least you have that to be happy about!!! I wont sugarcoat it tho, I would probably be a little discouraged as well :(


 

Posted on June 15, 2009 at 3:52 am
wildfirej29
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09/18/2009
wildfirej29

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I'm sorry!  That does suck!  But the important part is the part where you and your fiance "seal the deal".  Also, at least your dress is FABULOUS!  To me, that's the 2nd most important part.  :)

Posted on June 15, 2009 at 3:53 am
GoingtobeGoff
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05/14/2009
GoingtobeGoff

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so sorry to hear that girl!  I TOTALLY understand your sentiments.... even though we had a very nice wedding in a gorgeous location, it wasn't EVERYTHING i wanted.  There are other weddings here that have made my jealous or at least aspects of weddings that i really wish we could have had/done/afforded. 


It's not a matter of measuring up to other people, other gals, etc.  It's a reflection of your love for your FI and your life covenant to each other.  Trust me- day of, you wn't even notice the concrete and stumps!!!! honestly!!!!  We got married right off a fairly busy road, and I NEVER noticed ANY noise... but watching our wedding video, there was TONS of trucks that went by, VERY noisy!!  I never even noticed.  You could see the houses next to our venue, b/c the trees weren't totally leafed out yet... we could see a TRAILER in behind our altar....


Our DJ played the wrong intro song.. my mom was driving me nuts, the shepherds hooks weren't straight... etc etc etc...


Our wedding night room was at a B&B outside of town... very quaint little cute place!  In a cabin, etc etc.  I would have LOVED to have had a stupid huge nice suite with lavish everything.... but not only could we not afford the $400+/night, we didn't want to stay at a hotel... too cookie cutter.  So we chose $200 a night for the B&B cabin.  No matter where you stay, it'll be SPECIAL.


Focus on your relationship with your FI and your future together.  You could get married next to a gas and oil factory, and should still LOVE every minute of it!  Trust me, it'll be worth the stress and "drama"- day of, it's AMAZING. 


<hugs!!!!>

Posted on June 15, 2009 at 4:02 am
midnyteblue110609
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11/06/2009
midnyteblue110609

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I know what you mean.  If it hadn't been for PW I never would have doubted my photographer, my venue, ever thought of lightning, tall flower centerpieces, CL shoes ... etc.  It is hard to see all these beautiful weddings and think that yours will never ever compare.  I went through a lot of stress about my photographer b/c I am on a budget and couldn't get the photographer I really wanted and FI really wanted to stick to the budget.  Am I going to have the best wedding pics as those paying tons of thousands?  No.  But at the end of the day, I have come to realize that I am OK with not having all of that.  You know what the importance of that day is and it is not driving away with a carriage but about joining your life with your best friend.  As long as you are always aware what the day is all about it becomes easier to appreciate what you will have.  Your wedding will be spectular regardless of your location.

Posted on June 15, 2009 at 4:02 am
elle1009
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09/19/2009
elle1009

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Princess, I understand EXACTLY where you're coming from.  I have added lots of different things that I hadn't thought about or knew about until I joined PW.  BUT, your wedding is yours - some things, like location, cannot be controlled.  Your wedding will be fabulous because you and FI will become one.  I also saw the pics of you in your gorgeous Maggie dress - you are going to be utterly beautiful.  Keep the things that you can control in perspective.  Don't forget that we always think "the grass is always greener", BUT what is right and possible for someone else may not be "right and possible" for us...Good luck!

Posted on June 15, 2009 at 4:20 am
HappyArizonaBride
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HappyArizonaBride

So sorry to hear you are going through this...Must be hard to be disappointed in the different aspects of your day....I am sure it makes spending the money even more torturous if it is not what you had in mind for your wedding day!

Posted on June 15, 2009 at 4:26 am
Jezzzebel
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06/26/2010
Jezzzebel

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The way you feel is completely understandable but you won't even be thinking about any of that as you marry the man you love.


I've been doubting my ceremony/reception venue recently too and I really wish I would have chosen somewhere else even if was a little more $$ but it's too late now cause I'm not going to let the deposit (which was quite a lot) go.  So I'm going to make do with what I already picked.


Don't worry, your wedding will still be beautiful and you will have all the time in the world to stay in a romantic hotel room with your new hubby.

Posted on June 15, 2009 at 4:29 am
theprincessbride
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theprincessbride

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Thanks for all of the advice, I really truly appreciate it. I think that I'm down because it's not so much about adding the decor I want this time (like how I can't have chivari chairs, big whoop) or impressing other people, it's just the whole ambience I'd looked forward to won't be there... but there's not really anything we can do about that so I just have to let it go. I forced myself to sit down and write all of the things that I LOVE about our wedding like my dress and our rings and our photographer and just all the things I'll look forward to and I'm feeling a lot better now.


Goff, you really helped put things into perspective for me as well because all I saw when I looked at your wedding pictures was your carriage and I felt this pang because I don't get to have a carriage but I never even noticed any of the other things you mentioned so I guess that no one's wedding goes perfectly. Hopefully I'll be truly oblivious to everything the day of, and in the mean time maybe I'll make some posts to get some brainstorming going about how to make the rental car work and the concrete less ugly and so on.


 


I love you ladies!

Posted on June 15, 2009 at 5:03 am
Hawaii2010
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04/07/2010
Hawaii2010

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I feel your pain. I'm planning a wedding far, far away too and will not be able to meet any vendors, taste food, sample cakes, see reception/ceremony site, meet photographers.. you know.. all the stuff you are *supposed* to do. Heck, I won't see my reception site until 5 days before the wedding (maybe that's a good thing) :) My wedding is 295 days away (who's counting?!) and I'm already trying to psych myself up for it NOT being what I have in my head. BUT, you and I and other DW brides have an advantage... we're getting married in really cool locations. For the rest of your life you'll be able to say, "Yeah, I go married in Australia". I know you will live there after... but heck, most people don't even get to VISIT such an amazing place.


I'm glad you sat down to write a list of PROS. It really sounds like you are trying to keep things in perspective. But you are allowed to moan... especially on here.


We're ALL really looking forward to your wedding. You've put so much of yourself in it... it's bound to be the best day of your life. And when you see everything come together, you won't notice the random cement. I put money on it ;)


Hugs.

Posted on June 15, 2009 at 6:07 am
barnes3
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10/03/2009
barnes3

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it's okay...you have my ear......we all need to let it out sometimes. I know your wedding will be gorgeous..I think we all wish we could've had this or that---even the people w/ the lavish suites or fancy ballrooms want more....

Posted on June 15, 2009 at 6:40 am
MountainBride
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07/12/2009
MountainBride

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I think we've all been through this!  I look at other girls weddings and think 'wow!  I wish I had that'.



So then I have to remember what I have that maybe they don't!   We have a river right under the deck where our reception is. . .WOW!  Who else has that?  But you know what our honeymoon 'suite' looks like?  The unabomber shack (it's a cabin with lace edged floral bedspreads and a TV with rabbit ears. . .uggggh. . .but it's what we could get!).


Also, remember that you see these weddings. . .and a good photographer was able to hide the ugly stuff!  You don't see the porta-potty, or the ugly pipes, or those things that in person tend to be there. They focus on the beautiful bride (and you will be!), and the gorgeous details (which you will have) and all those goofy things don't show up in the pictures. 


Have you considered buying white fabric and draping it yourself?  If you find a local fabric store they often have bargain fabrics by the bolt. . .just get some white stuff (like, we have www.denverfabrics.com. . .google that if it doesn't work) and they sell large rolls of fabric for just a few bucks (if not less) per yard.  You guys could string it up (even if the walls aren't covered, maybe just strips of it.  Even a small amount will stand out more than just plain walls!), and then use candles to soften the room. Re-sell it after the wedding!


Hang a wreath from each of the bathroom doors?  That's a uh. . .*stinky* situation (excuse the pun), but you could at least try to hide it :)


Don't have a carriage?  It's ok.  I think that looking back at your day it won't be the first thing you remember!  Not only that, but it's just one more thing to go wrong (I'm trying to make you feel better here. . .) like. . .what if the horse poops RIGHT in front of your guests are you are leaving the ceremony?  Or, what if it's muddy and gets stuck?  Or your tear your dress on the stair getting in?  Not romantic, AT ALL. 


You'll be ok. . .I think we'll find things in the pictures of your wedding that we're all jealous of too! 


GL :)


 


 


 


 


 

Posted on June 15, 2009 at 7:00 am
MommyLynda
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09/12/2009
MommyLynda

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okay, okay...but the point is that every bride has that vision...some since they were little.  I know my daughter's been collecting pics since Junior High School


soooooooo....how can we make it work within your budget?  Can we get you some draping material?  Crystals, ribbon, flowers....I know it's a long way...but there's still time.  How can we help you.


We're having a "formal wedding" and I'm so pissed at the $800 limo I'm about ready to hire a taxi...which could be pretty darn cool.  Send your fiance on a mission to rent an expensive sports car.  Or borrow someones high end car.  Do it!


As far as the stumps and cement...once you chairs are set up and the aisle runner is down and decorated...no one will notice the stumps but you! KWIM!  C'mon...you're good at this...you're usually the one who comes up with the ideas.  Let's put our heads together.  You deserve to have the wedding you want!  And you will!

Posted on June 15, 2009 at 7:25 am
GoingtobeGoff
10
05/14/2009
GoingtobeGoff

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Mommylynda reminded me--  if you're looking for a getaway car, what about doing an overnight test drive on a nice car!?  We did it wiht a BMW, for free, and got the car OVERNIGHT til we wanted to return it the next day... could you look into doing something like that??

Posted on June 15, 2009 at 7:27 am
MommyLynda
5
09/12/2009
MommyLynda

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Good get, Goff....GGG!!!!


Plus, are you still building the alter?  who's going to be looking at the stumps to left when you're going to have an alter like that!!!!


You lacey, birdy, fluffy theme for the reception is going to make anyplace gorgeous!

Posted on June 15, 2009 at 7:31 am
NanaBoop
4
06/06/2009
NanaBoop

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I wholeheartedly agree!  Once you add your touches to the event, NO ONE, including yourself, is gonna see anything but the personalization and the LOVE abounding!  So, I ditto ML, now that you are gonna look at the venue with a clear perspective again, what can you do on your budget to improvise and make it your own?


Some ideas:  bathroom doors - create cute lovebird signs, one for men, one for women.  Next: stumps, create some kind of nest, to perch upon their tops.


You are such a creative person, I know you will take charge and make this wedding your own. 


As for a carriage or some other form of transportation, think outside the box.  For example, my daughter really wanted a limo from the church to reception.  She had a large wedding party (14) and found no limos large enough to hold everyone, let alone what the price would be on a premium June Saturday evening!!  She was at a nail salon talking about it with her sister, and the owner of the salon mentioned they had a 20 passenger Cadillac Escalade they used for corporate rentals, which was available for her night.  She paid $100 and got her dream fulfilled.  Talk enough about it to the locals and I BET you will too!!


And, if you get stuck on an idea, throw it onto these boards and one of these creative Brides (or MOB's - ha) is bound to give you some great suggestions to get you going again!  GL and remember, we are here to help!!

Posted on June 15, 2009 at 9:17 am
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